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that was a bit sad and not so good. could be the hot weather especially if your mum had been fighting with her t-shirt and got all hot. they cant regulate their temperatures as well. hope next visit goes betterThanks @anxious annie.
Today’s visit was not so good. I arrived to learn that Mum had been throwing things around including a vase (nobody hurt) . Mum had got up and had a cup of coffee and senior Carer (one she likes) had got her into the shower and managed to wash her hair (never the easiest of tasks). Mum managed to dress her bottom half but then got stuck trying to put a T-shirt on. At this point Carer tried to assist and she started to scream and shout and tried to rip the t shirt off. When she couldn’t she just threw anything near by. The other Carer meanwhile had called the nurse to come up and when she walked in the door and asked Mum how she was, Mum said she was perfectly fine and asked the nurse if she had had a nice holiday. All nice and calm. She also then allowed senior Carer to sort the T-shirt out. We all agreed that it stemmed from her frustration of not being able to do what she wanted to do for herself. She even said that to me when we were having a cup of tea later. She was not relating the comment to the incident but the fact that she couldn’t do things she used to be able to. she did say she had had an upset and argument with someone about clothes yesterday so she had a memory of it.
The funny thing was that one of the first things she asked me when I arrived was whether I had had a nice holiday.
During my visit though it was light a switch being turned on and off. One minute she would be ok and the next she was angry and very sarcastic, including towards me which is not so common. I had taken a cross stitch picture of one of Mum’s dogs in as her room looks so bare and I thought she might like it (and she had had it on her bedroom wall at home). I made it very clear that it was up to her if she wanted it hanging up or not. I asked if she liked it and she said yes, so I asked her if she would like it putting up in her room whilst she was ‘staying there’ The response was ‘ you are not putting that ‘tat’ up and don’t try and give me your rubbish’.
we did go into the garden but she said wanted to go to the shops. She wanted to know why her Mum had not visited. When we went back up to her floor we met the senior Carer and he asked how she had enjoyed the sunshine. She just screamed at us both ‘what have you done with my daughter’ to which I said ‘she has just gone to the toilet’. I took her back to her room and asked stupidly if she wanted a hand with her slippers and of course got told ‘I can manage perfectly well. Thank you’ near enough spitting at me. I left the room in the hope that if I went back a few moments later I might be the daughter again. I was but if course when I said I had to leave to go to work I got the sarcasm again.
Saying I was going to work has never really been an issue but I am beginning to think I might have to start sneaking off although it is difficult with the layout.
They are going to ask for another review by the mental health team although she is also being monitored by another team twice a week. I need to find out what each does.
I did wonder if the hot weather is having an impact too.
they really dont get on. might have to speak to manager about her.Got a phone call this afternoon to be told there had been another incident with wandering lady. I was surprised as I understood that wandering lady was having 1 to 1 care. Staff don’t know what sparked it off but fortunately nobody was hurt.
had to laugh at first bit. the later maybe they want a challenge and move up the ranks a bit. because they are good, maybe they want more responsibility and credit for their standard of work. i dont know, could be any number of reasons, maybe they are not great employersThanks @jennifer1967. I had a conversation with the interim clinical person and they have the mental health team involved and another group who apparently try and offer practical support (I forgot what they were called). Anyway it is this group that acquired funding for wandering lady to have one to one care. However that does mean that the one to one Carer does need to turn up.
On the other news the interim Manager who became the permanent manager has been restructured to become an interim manager at one of the other homes in the group whilst Mum’s home will get another interim manager from outside the care home group. You work that one out. Disappointed to say the least and email sent to regional manager saying how disappointed with yet another change and lack of continuity. Had a nosy at the new managers profile on internet and not impressed with his background.
even worse one of the male senior Carers that Mum liked and is really good has left for his dream job. I know this CH pays slightly above average wages but I would love to know why some of the really good Carers leave so quickly. Yet others who are ok/good do stay.
it will probably be better for your mum away from wandering lady. do you think that was what she was trying to get you to grasp. maybe your mum is anxious about the wandering lady. it seems to start with that.Mum was in the dining room clutching her handbag when I arrived today. Staff told me she had refused to leave when the other ladies went up to the lounge. They had left her there as they knew I was visiting. I did get a smile and we had a hug. She was not particularly interested in the return of her repaired toy ‘puppy dog’ or the flowers I had taken her. I asked her if she wanted a drink but she was not interested. The catering staff came in to tidy up but were happy for us to remain there. I did take the opportunity to fetch the current vase of old flowers from her room and put the fresh ones in. Clutching her handbag generally means she wants me to take her home (this time she kept mentioning the last place she lived). I struggled today to keep trying to distract her.
We nearly had another incident with wandering woman. As we left the dining room wandering lady came up to Mum and started talking to her but it sounded quite aggressive. Mum told her to go away or she was going to thump her. Fortunately she did go away.
I did get Mum into the garden for a walk and a tea and biscuit in the garden. Felt so sorry for Mum today as she was desperate to communicate something to me but I really could not understand what she was saying and I obviously was not making the right reply and poor Mum was so frustrated.
time up I took her back up to her floor and as she got out of the lift she just said ‘o god not this place again’. With the help of a Carer I did get her settled in the lounge with another cup of tea and she accepted I had to go.
When I first arrived I had spoken to clinical lead about the idea of moving Mum to one of their other homes. She thought Mum would cope with it. Whilst I was with Mum she had talked to the Manager of the CH nearer me. In principle Yes but they need a few more dementia residents (new home opened Jan 20 so still vacancies but have just received a good CQC report so had more interest) to open up the dementia floor there. So it could be a couple of months. I guess we will have to wait and see.
You could well be right.it will probably be better for your mum away from wandering lady. do you think that was what she was trying to get you to grasp. maybe your mum is anxious about the wandering lady. it seems to start with that.