Spends day in bed

[Mel90]

Hello I care for my 90yr old mum who has vascular dementia. I am in and out the house all day especially meal times, because I live a few doors away. My mum goes to bed every time I leave her house..., I feel so guilty. Don't know if she is confusing the time of day, because she puts pyjamas on top of her clothes or if she is genuinely just tired.

 

[Neveradullday!]

It could be your mum's just tired @Mel90
On the other hand, she just might feel safest in bed. Being alone, even if only for short periods, is very challenging for someone with dementia. When alone they can't make head nor tail of anything.

 

[phill]

It may also be that she is losing the ability to occupy herself when there are no cues to suggest to her what she could do next. Especially if the pastimes she used to enjoy involve a number of steps that she can no longer remember the sequence of.

 

[Grannie G]

Bed is comforting when you don't know what to do with yourself.

Your mum is 90, @Mel90, has dementia, is probably unable to occupy herself and bed is like a cocoon, helping her feel safe.

 

[Angel55]

Hello I care for my 90yr old mum who has vascular dementia. I am in and out the house all day especially meal times, because I live a few doors away. My mum goes to bed every time I leave her house..., I feel so guilty. Don't know if she is confusing the time of day, because she puts pyjamas on top of her clothes or if she is genuinely just tired.

💗 It is probably a bit of both...Bed is safe and comforting.

 

[Mel90]

Thank you for all your responses. I feel a bit better today thinking it makes her feel safe and comforted in bed. She certainly is very happy, so I'll see how things go, spend as much time as possible with her.

 

[Graybiker]

My dad is 91 & has mixed dementia. He goes through phases of sometimes spending 16-18 hours in bed, other phases of less time, but the least amount of time is about 12-13 hours. He just says he’s tired or ‘nice & comfortable.’, had him checked by the doc, said no physical problems at all.

I often think that it’s just easier, he doesn’t have to try & remember where things are, or how to use the tv remote etc & frankly he’s living in a world that he doesn’t recognise or understand in comparison to what he remembers. He can lie in bed, comfortably, with his memories, undisturbed.

I’ve been living with him for some time and we get on well so he has company if he wants it. Obviously I try to encourage him to get up, but all he wants is peace & quiet.
I wouldn’t worry too much
x

 

[Mel90]

My dad is 91 & has mixed dementia. He goes through phases of sometimes spending
x

Thank you for that info it's good to know and sounds very similar. She's actually been up and dressed the past two days. Thank you so much x

 

[Graybiker]

Thank you for that info it's good to know and sounds very similar. She's actually been up and dressed the past two days. Thank you so much x

That’s good to hear 😊 & it’s no problem
x