I have a ‘waiver’ on signature for OH, I put the X in the box for him (likelihood of him managing an X and getting it in the right box minimal) and just put in the envelope and send off. Like Pauline he still wants to vote and definitely still has ‘opinions’.
So, what’s my Pauline been up to today?
- Thread starter Agzy
- Start date
It allows Pauline to use her right to vote.
Certain people forfeit this right, most are obvious although one group is not so obvious.
'Paregraph2.2
Certain categories of people are disqualified from voting at a parliamentary election. These are: peers with seats in the House of Lords,1 aliens, persons under 18 years of age, convicted persons during the period of their detention in a penal institution (or mental hospital) in pursuance of their sentence,2 and persons found guilty of corrupt or illegal practices at elections.3 The common law rule preventing those with mental impairments from voting was abolished by the Electoral Administration Act 2006 (c 22), s 73(1).'
(My red)
Yesterday was, strangely enough, just as fraught as all the other Thursdays, Daycare day and yet very different. This was the first time her son took her for the afternoon and yet I still got the built up tensions, moods, and temper tantrums. Once he arrived she went with him ok but ignored me totally and the same on their return when she just wouldn’t engage although no nasty stuff. Apparently he took her to see her two ex sister-in-laws who she has consistently refused to visit when I have suggested it and she was well and chatty throughout I am told.
Next Thursday is a Dementia showing of ‘Summer Holiday’ and he can take her there. As I gave the daycare center notice of pausing her attendance for 2 weeks the quandary arises about from then on as, if I cancel and he stops taking her I will have lost her placing, and its very hard to get onto any of daycare centres around here and so it would be goodbye to my half day respite time.
I just have a feeling it will all end not well for me, I don’t know why!
Next Thursday is a Dementia showing of ‘Summer Holiday’ and he can take her there. As I gave the daycare center notice of pausing her attendance for 2 weeks the quandary arises about from then on as, if I cancel and he stops taking her I will have lost her placing, and its very hard to get onto any of daycare centres around here and so it would be goodbye to my half day respite time.
I just have a feeling it will all end not well for me, I don’t know why!
I’m afraid @Agzy my suggestion won’t go down well with Pauline - but will meet your needs and hers in the long run.
I suggest you keep the place and keep taking Pauline as you were doing PLUS organsising her son to take her out for a few hours per week.
that way you get more respite and Pauline gets used to more people helping with her care. I know that’s not what she wants and will protest but being frank will be needed in time.
Otherwise as you say I fear it will not end well for you and in the end Pauline as you are likely to need to rest for your own health at some point.
Easy for me to say though not having to implement myself!
Ps did you ever get a carers assessment?
I suggest you keep the place and keep taking Pauline as you were doing PLUS organsising her son to take her out for a few hours per week.
that way you get more respite and Pauline gets used to more people helping with her care. I know that’s not what she wants and will protest but being frank will be needed in time.
Otherwise as you say I fear it will not end well for you and in the end Pauline as you are likely to need to rest for your own health at some point.
Easy for me to say though not having to implement myself!
Ps did you ever get a carers assessment?
i would keep her at day care, could her son do another afternoon to take he out or even sit with her then you could have 2 respites. i have 2 x 2 1/2 breaks a week when he goes to the shed and need both just to reset.
Absolutely how I am thinking as how can he commit to ‘every’ Thursday morning, ad finitum? Need to have an awkward chat I think, thank you @sdmhred
Thank you @jennifer1967 and as I have just answered to sdmhred I need to have another chat and yes, add on your suggestion regarding other days.
Well after a weekend of further trauma and discussions with her son it is agreed that I will end Daycare (but going to pay in advance for two sessions just as insurance against change of heart) and her son has ’commited’ to taking her for the afternoon every Thursday. I am just wearied by it all and have no fight left and so upsetting for Pauline who is much happier. No idea of course what the future will bring but peace ✌️ has broken out at last.
sometimes its better to accept it didnt work and do something else is better. might be a better atmosphere. at least her son is getting involved now
Holiday is sadly cancelled as my daughter has damaged her knee and is all strapped up. Can only hope for the spring 😔
Ouch, such a shame, for both her and you. Hope her knee recovers properly, it must be very painful.
Where do I start? A good day with a big surprise thrown in.
Firstly her son, who is committed to taking her out every Thursday afternoon as the alternative to daycare. has a hospital appointment and so can’t take her to a special Dementia showing at our local cinema tomorrow so it falls to me but is fine as we have fun when we go to that.
As I had a hospital appointment myself today at Audiology, I nipped over to the daycare centre to tell them of probable cancellation and they were wonderful and also very upset because, as they all say, she is the life and soul while there and is always smiling.
The manageress has assured me that in spite of there being a big waiting list they will keep her place open without payment until the end of the month, a wonderful gesture. Once home we chatted and I explain where I had been and gave her the good news of cancellation but also how everyone reacted and what they said.
A bit later after I had made her a cuppa she asked if it would be ok to carry on with her ‘Thursday Club,’ she is missing it! Talk about knockdown and feather, I was flabbergasted and have said that we should wait until next week and talk to her son just to make sure, and I emphasised that I wasn’t asking her to go back and we can carry on with her sons help if she wants to. Again she said she wanted to go back and said she doesn’t know why she got so upset except that people sat in chairs and didn’t move around plus always escorted to the loo.
I reminded her that when we are out and about I do the latter and whether at home or at other groups we both tended to sit for most of the time. All was said in a really friendly chatty way and indeed all afternoon has been happy and chatty even when she wet herself getting up to go to the toilet . Such is life 😊.
Firstly her son, who is committed to taking her out every Thursday afternoon as the alternative to daycare. has a hospital appointment and so can’t take her to a special Dementia showing at our local cinema tomorrow so it falls to me but is fine as we have fun when we go to that.
As I had a hospital appointment myself today at Audiology, I nipped over to the daycare centre to tell them of probable cancellation and they were wonderful and also very upset because, as they all say, she is the life and soul while there and is always smiling.
The manageress has assured me that in spite of there being a big waiting list they will keep her place open without payment until the end of the month, a wonderful gesture. Once home we chatted and I explain where I had been and gave her the good news of cancellation but also how everyone reacted and what they said.
A bit later after I had made her a cuppa she asked if it would be ok to carry on with her ‘Thursday Club,’ she is missing it! Talk about knockdown and feather, I was flabbergasted and have said that we should wait until next week and talk to her son just to make sure, and I emphasised that I wasn’t asking her to go back and we can carry on with her sons help if she wants to. Again she said she wanted to go back and said she doesn’t know why she got so upset except that people sat in chairs and didn’t move around plus always escorted to the loo.
I reminded her that when we are out and about I do the latter and whether at home or at other groups we both tended to sit for most of the time. All was said in a really friendly chatty way and indeed all afternoon has been happy and chatty even when she wet herself getting up to go to the toilet . Such is life 😊.
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