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So is this it...?

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
I am afraid I am not good with words or practical advice but just wanted to send you some hugs and really hope you can have some calm days. I hope you are able to get another beach/sea walk in to bring some peace
Thank you
I’m choosing to celebrate Dad & his life & memories x lots of smiles & tears are always close by but more smiles than anything
Xxxxx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Hi @DesperateofDevon, sorry you have more issues to deal with. I would say pneumonia aka 'chest infection' is not and uncommon cause of death, however it is normally subject to treatment that has failed such as antibiotics - so it should be known prior to the passing. I do agree though, move on. I'm pleased you are meeting with the MP, there needs to be some proper action on social care generally but I can't see it, nothing has changed in the last ten year despite empty promises. There does seem to be many issues of negligence in your Dads case, and any deficiency in meds dispensing is potentially serious for others too.
Thank you
Have passed this on to the safeguarding & office public Guardian safeguarding
Now it’s time to remember the person & character that was Dad- so that makes me smile - some tears but I can’t think of Dad without smiling.
He was so much more than a PWD
Love
Xx
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,225
cornwall
Thank you
Have passed this on to the safeguarding & office public Guardian safeguarding
Now it’s time to remember the person & character that was Dad- so that makes me smile - some tears but I can’t think of Dad without smiling.
He was so much more than a PWD
Love
Xx
That is true.. Sending best wishes and (((hugs))).
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Last night at 9:34 pm I woke up & bam!! I’ve hit a brick wall of emotion!
I’m in bits ... I guess this is delayed reaction.
Damn ..... I was doing so well.... I thought!

so folks I’m taking a break over Christmas & hunkering down!

love & light to you all on the forum xxxxx
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,032
I lost my dad 18 months ago and I still sit quietly and cry sometimes. And I really think that's the way it should be. Take care of yourself now. Your Dad would not have wanted you to get too down. He would have wanted you to remember and share the happy times you had together. I am not a religious person but I do believe that our loved ones live on after death. They are always alive in our memories. Best wishes Susan
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
405
Last night at 9:34 pm I woke up & bam!! I’ve hit a brick wall of emotion!
I’m in bits ... I guess this is delayed reaction.
Damn ..... I was doing so well.... I thought!

so folks I’m taking a break over Christmas & hunkering down!

love & light to you all on the forum xxxxx
Let it out. You obviously need to go through this emotionally and it’s healthy to do so xx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
I lost my dad 18 months ago and I still sit quietly and cry sometimes. And I really think that's the way it should be. Take care of yourself now. Your Dad would not have wanted you to get too down. He would have wanted you to remember and share the happy times you had together. I am not a religious person but I do believe that our loved ones live on after death. They are always alive in our memories. Best wishes Susan
Thank you
I do to
Sending love
Xxx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
So the tears are still flowing as I see saw from complete shock & grief to a numb contentment!
Santa if you are listening “ I’ve been an awfully good girl” to quote the song & would just like to be able to sleep!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
The tears do help so if you need to cry your eyes out do. I think you have mentioned some good family and friend support immediately around you so I hope that brings some comfort too. I do hope that Santa is listening and brings you some sleep (and strength). You have been through so much
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
742
Yorkshire
You have been so good and are going through such a hard time, I hope you get some sleep too x
Thanks for taking time to comment on my post when you are going through so much x x x
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Well folks I’m officially on Santa’s naughty list or he’s slipped up in the sleep Department!
Christmas Day turned into an episode a soap opera would be proud of!
No not Aged mother but my friend !!!

my friend has just got divorced 5 days ago &her husband has just moved out of the family home!
Her daughter for the past ten years has gone to her OH family nearby, & this year after moving into their own house I presumed she’d have her mother & brother for Christmas Day.

umm .... no ! So friend & son were coming to mine! ( think friends daughter is selfish & thoughtless but hey ! Especially as friend is very upset about divorce & not seeing her daughter who only lives a few miles away! This friends daughter has a very hectic social life & repeatedly drives past her mums home!! )

so 45 mins before food on table friends son texts his mum & says I’m not coming!

my aged mother will have plenty to talk about that’s for sure when she gets home!
My friends potty mouth for one!!!

so I delayed dinner & messaged & rang friends daughter to say - actually your mum is in bits; can you please sort this out as I have enough on my own plate & at the end of the day this is your family.

all I can say is - unbelievable!

Neither friends daughter or son came & got their mother, infact friends daughter let me know she was having a lovely Christmas with her fiancé & his family !!

so dinner was served at 2:30 & I am just grateful that my OH & daughter were able to help me out in this awkward situation.

hope I don’t ever meet friends daughter or son soon!

After all my careful planning & preparation & effort to have the day derailed so spectacularly by someone else’s adult children was mind blowing .......

My friend did thank me for standing up for her but at the end of the day nothing I say will make any difference. Her adult children should be ashamed but blood is thicker than water!
Of course friend is not going to fall out with her own children, but my Dads funeral is soon & I have my grieving aged mother with dementia & my own grief to deal with !

So I stood up for myself & im so pleased I did. Christmas really does bring out the worst in selfishness!

normally I’d cope well but let’s say this was the straw that broke the camels back !!!

just hoping she’d mother doesn’t try out her new vocabulary soon!! I couldn’t cope with that!!!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Now I am yearning for space ... everything is getting too much ! I am so tired I am grumpy in a bad mood & not nice to be around ! Even retreating to my bedroom doesn’t give me any time out !

Need sleep badly !! x
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
405
Christmas with so many people around is tough let alone when you are dealing with such emotional events yourself. You were very kind to invite your friend
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
742
Yorkshire
That sounds like an episode of eastenders and not at all what you need. Good on you for telling daughter to sort it out, shame she didn't but at least you told her good for you.
I hope you get some sleep and a rest soon you deserve and need it x
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
957
Bedford
So sorry @DesperateofDevon that you did not get the Christmas Day you deserved. What a compassionate person you truly are inviting friend (and her ungrateful son) round on Christmas Day with all you have been through over the last months and especially the last week or so. No wonder you are tired and just crave a good nights sleep. I hope it finds you tonight.
 

leslyz

Registered User
Oct 24, 2015
278
OMG @DesperateofDevon absolutely unbelievable - sounds a complete nighmare. As @Bikerbeth has said, it was extremely generous and compassionate if you to invite your friend and son around in the first place. No way should you think you are on the naughty step!!! You are going through it all enough without this and so much on your plate. I do hope you get that well deserved rest. Take care, xxx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Well @DesperateofDevon you've just described my Christmas except my friend has no children just a selfish ( now ex ) boyfriend. I won't go into details but some people :mad:.


I hope you've got some sleep.
oh bless you! sorry you had this as well!

Sadly exhaustion got the better of me on Boxing Day & to be honest I threw my binky out of the pram! No really threw a tantrum to end all tantrums!!!

I retired to bed & slept fitfully yet again, so decided that OH & daughter could return aged mother back home while I caught up on sleep!

oh the bliss! Who knew you could actually sleep for so long!

no I don’t feel guilty!
Annoyed that OH just doesn’t get it, it daughter is firmly on my side & seeing to it that I get time out.

meanwhile I’m numb, & still tired to my bones!
The desire to sleep is overwhelming still!
Should make trip into hospital on 31st quite pleasurable with anaesthetic & sedatives!
Every cloud has a silver lining!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,679
South coast
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
If you want to sleep then sleep - your body is telling you thats what it needs.

I for one am not surprised after everything that has been going on.