Morning all,
Thanks GL - the day didn't seem quite as busy as I thought it would, to be fair
Everything got 'done' without any rushing or hiccups, so all good
I can sympathize with being the 'other woman', Grace - as you know, that's an intermittant fixation for my Mil, and it really isn't nice to deal with
I too wondered if they would 'turn up' at your home over Christmas, having found your Mil too hard to deal with and try to palm her off on you. It is ridiculous, as you say, but being away seems to be your best chance at having some peace. Like Spamar, I hope there is no way that anyone has keys to or can get access to your home in your absence xxxx
Thanks Essie - so far, can't say that there is any change that could be called an 'improvement', but I know it can take a couple of weeks to really get an idea of how any new meds will impact.
Slugsta, this is where I'm lucky - when Mil does push me 'too far', most of the time I can step right back and let OH deal with her. I don't do it often, but now and again, stepping away from her like that saves me from really crashing. I don't know how solo carers, without the safety net of 'another' that they can do that with, manage!
Mil came down at about 9 yesterday, and was still throwing dirty looks in my direction. When I left the room, or she thought I was out of earshot, she kept trying to make comments about me to OH , telling him that 'she' (me) hated her or saying that I was being 'nasty' to her again - I actually hadn't said a word beyond a polite 'Good Morning' (which she ignored). OH got her the toast and tea she wanted, which she took without so much as a 'please' or 'thank you'. Once she had eaten, she stomped back off to bed! OH then took dau and her friend to Chester for their panto, and I got stuck into the house. Mil remained in bed. When he got back, I shot off to the shops, finally managed to finish off getting the last bits I wanted for my mates' Christmas gift, and also got quite a bit of the 'Christmas food shop' done. When I came back, she was up - and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. I later found out that she had come down the stairs and started calling me names and saying nasty things about me again. And OH had absolutely blasted her, because here's the strange thing - she seemed to remember that there had been words exchanged the morning before, was clear that she and I had had a falling out and knew she had been rude to me because I 'didn't let her' do what she wanted, I didn't let her get up exactly when she wanted too. Which was really accurate but a big change from the usual fabricated resons she tend to produce to explain why she is cross with either OH or myself. Given her mood, OH had added the diaz to her morning meds, but to be honest, I thik the sudden stilted politeness I was treated to was more to do with her realising that actually, OH was not going to be on 'her side' (her words, not mine) if she carried on behaving like that.
I was able to get her washed, dressed and even get her teeth cleaned - that was a relief because her breath was foul!. While she was washing, she again referred to the day before, saying that she was 'just fed up' that she couldn't get dressed and go out by herself. Again - that was pretty accurate compared to her usual recall of events. By now it was lunchtime, so OH made lunch for the two of them, whilst I wrapped the very last of the pressies. OH didn't let her away with anything, correcting her when she failed to say 'Thank you' (for some reason, it really annoys him when she so often fails to be polite or even acknowledge when someone does something for her). Daughter came home, I got her lunch, did the last of the days ironing while OH watched Mil, then I took dau for her haircut and we then went shopping, daughter for the last pressie she wanted to get (fancy soaps, and a new scarf and glove set for Nana, to go with the slippers and various other bits and bobs from the kids), and I wanted to pick up a couple of Christmas ornaments and some new placemats.
When we got back, OH was now the villain of the piece, judging by Mil's attitude. As soon as I walked through the door, she said she was getting her coat and I could 'take her home now'. I very politely but firmly said that no, I wouldn't be doing that and OH reminded her that she lives here. '
No, I do not' she said, then seeing that neither of us were going to take her anywhere she announced '
I'm going to my room'. And off she went. Tea was nearly ready when she came down again - she asked me was I going to give her some bread and butter to eat? Or was I going to 'starve' her - again! I didn't rise, told her her meal would be ready in 10 minutes then ignored her as I carried on with cooking. She went and sat down, now refusing to acknowledge OH speaking to her - so she got another 'Come to Jesus' lecture from him before I served up the food. She also got the second dose of the diazapam! We did manage to eat in peace, but after tea, with a haughty 'I'm going to my room', Mil headed upstairs again. OK by me
7pm, she was down again - and she was off with the fairies. Where was the other dog? She had better get those pies out of the oven! She wanted to get me the key she had put in that cup. She had better get ready for the 'hop' she and her friends were going to. And eventually, where was the little one? Was the little chap hiding? What had happened to him? I was very, very polite but very firm. Just kept repeating that there was no little one, no little chap, no babbie. Eventually she announced that if I wasn't going to tell her what I'd done with him, she was going to bed - and off she went. At 8.30, I took up her meds and got her to change her pull ups - shades of the previous morning as she very deliberately took her time and faffed around, but eventually sorted. 10 pm, she was back down - and OH marched her back up again.
So, so far, not seeing much of a difference with the new meds, other than a couple of brief times when she did seem to be very much more aware of 'reality' than usual. She has been up once this morning (just after 6) and I got the usual daggers when I explained it was Sunday, too early to be up - and that the kitchen wasn't open yet. But she has gone back and settled - for now at least.
A pootling round day today, with a bit of flumping thrown in, if Mil behaves
Hope you all have a good day xxxx