1. piph

    piph Registered User

    Feb 4, 2013
    1,530
    Northamptonshire
    #3481 piph, Nov 3, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2015
    Hi Ann, just a thought about you changing Mil's dresssing. I know from what you've said before about how often she injures herself so this may be useful, if you don't know about it already.

    Have you ever used medicinal Manuka honey on a dressing? It's a wonderful antiseptic, and wounds heal really fast if you use it. My OH had a gangrenous big toe a few years ago. To cut a long story short, he was hospitalised for 2 weeks for intravenous antibiotics and then sent home. He saw a NHS podiatrist for several weeks and she gave us iodine dressings (I was changing them for him). Although the gangrene had then gone, the wound it left on his toe was taking ages to heal. Then at one appointment there was a different podiatrist and she used a Manuka honey dressing. The improvement was amazing, almost miraculous! Within 2 days the wound started healing, and within a fortnight it was completely healed over. I always keep some in now to use on cuts and abrasions. You might find it useful for Mil. You can buy it at most chemists and also, I think, at Health food shops. Also online.
     
  2. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Cakegate

    Ann, I do hope you were able to get out with your camera, you deserve it - especially after the time you are having with MIL at the moment! It really sounds as if her behaviour is getting more trying :( Your zoo photos are great. I love tigers but couldn't really pick my favourite photo, they are all so good. I do miss living near to a zoo, it was just a bus ride to Dudley when I were a lass.

    Jugglingmum, sorry to hear that you have been fighting the lurgy. Those boots sound a really good buy, I hope they are comfy.

    (((Grace))) waiting for surgery is so hard, isn't it? It feels as if like is on hold until afterwards. A wise friend of mine once said 'life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain'. Unfortunately I haven't really got to grips with that :( I was told in April that I should expect to wait around 6 months for my surgery, then my surgeon when off sick in July and is now only working part-time. Heaven knows how much longer I will wait.

    Ann, MIL did seem calmer once she had seen the minister. I guess it is different though, because she knew she was dying (although she didn't always remember that) so the idea of an afterlife was important to her. It was nice that the minister moved his appointments around so that he could officiate at the funeral, it was nice to have the service taken by someone who actually knew her a bit.

    The wardens where Mum lives told me today that Mum had been found taking cakes from the communal fridge (left over from a Halloween evening). We are not talking about one or two cakes but both pockets stuffed and hands full. 3 separate times :eek: So the residents' kitchen now has to be locked when the wardens are not there. Some of the residents were a bit peed off by the quantity of stuff Mum took but the wardens are very good and understand that this is the dementia. This is the first time that anyone else has actually used the word 'dementia' :( Mum never buys cake when we shop on Fridays (chocolate, biscuits, mints and toffees but no cake), I will have to suggest that she gets some and see how things go.

    We are going to the Harry Potter place tomorrow, hubby had the choice of birthday treat, and staying overnight. I will probably be around again on Friday. Play nicely while I'm away :D
     
  3. learningcurve

    learningcurve Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    22
    Hampshire
    Ann your photos are excellent, wish my photos came out like that.

    Slugsta that did make me laugh...your Mum stuffing her pockets with cakes :D that sounds like the sort of thing my Mum would do.

    Went to see Mum yesterday in her care home, the first time since we took her there a month ago. It's so hard not seeing her for so long as she's so far away from us now but she gets lots of visitors as she is nearer the rest of the family.

    She has settled in extremely well and we had no requests from her to take her home. She has been taking part in all the activities much to our surprise!! She had a little dance with her carer and had her hair dyed pink for a breast cancer night :eek::eek:

    We have certainly chosen the right place for her, the staff are really good with her and she told us they are all lovely with her.

    I did have a couple of minor concerns and not sure whether to say anything or not. The first was when we arrived we couldn't find her for a while, she is in the residential part of the home which was quite deserted, we only saw one gentleman in the lounge and no-one else. We eventually found her on the EMI unit in a lounge which was very busy with most of the residents at a far more advanced stage than Mum. I can't put my finger on why but I felt a little uncomfortable at her being in there. But that may have been because it was a Sunday and not as many staff on duty. The second concern was that she had her hair done and I was looking forward to seeing her new hairdo, I had tried my best to keep her hair nice bit did struggle when she wouldn't co-operate and trying to wash her hair wasn't easy when she wouldn't put her head anywhere near the basin in the bathroom, which ended up with me aiming the shower at her head and soaking everything in sight, including me :D
    I was expecting a nice wash and set but it was horrible, they had cut it ok but it was brushed flat to her head with no curl or wave and needed fluffing up at least. It just didn't suit her at all and didn't look like my Mum.

    Oh and I just remembered another thing..... when she went in I made a point of telling them she was known by her middle name and not her first name, but no they call her by what they think her first name is and they haven't got that right!!

    But I must say she has blossomed in there and we are satisfied that we have done the right thing and chosen the perfect place for her. I was worried that she wouldn't recognise us after a month, but her face lit up when she saw us. She also laughed a lot which was lovely to see as she hadn't laughed very much for the last few weeks she was with us.
     
  4. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    #3484 Ann Mac, Nov 4, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2015
    Morning everyone x

    Oh, we've had times when Mil has said a very firm 'No' to going to bed, Grace - when she has been really bad, its been a bit like a Mexican stand off here at times. Thing is, when she is totally stuck in spell of constantly pestering and going on and on, when she is up and down and getting more unsteady as she gets more agitated, I honestly can't find anything else that is more likely to break the cycle of whatever fixation she is in the grip of. If it's just the same repeated questions and she is staying calm, then mostly we just deal and let her go on (and on and on!) - but when you add in the 'wandering', the having to jump up every two minutes and shepherd her away from the kitchen, the back door and garden, from putting her coat on or from banging on the front door or windows, with her getting more and more entrenched in the delusion and more and more verbally offensive and upset, its a whole different ball game. Ignoring it, repeated 'Sorry you feel like that but I'm not discussing it' used to be fairly effective - but not now, her persistence and determination has increased alongside the other effects of the dementia. 'Time out', in her room, is the only thing that seems to help.

    Pip, thanks for that tip - all the DN's we have seen have said that this leg injury is going to take a long time to heal - I'm very grateful for info on anything that may speed up the process. The injury is exactly in the place where cellulitis has flared up several times for her, and that's my big worry at the moment. The attacks she has had so far have been fairly mild and easily sorted - but add in an open wound and I suspect that if she started with it again, it could potentially be very serious :(

    I too had to grin over 'cakegate', Slugsta :D One of Mil's tricks is to fill her pockets with whatever sweet treats she can get her paws on - about 4 or 5 days ago, I found her chewing away on 'something', but clearly struggling. She was doing sort of 'liitle spits' as though she had a hair in her mouth, or similar. Investigation revealed that her coat pockets had been filled with what looked like dolly mixtures - only they were well mixed in with bits of tissue, torn paper and general 'pocket fluff'- she had shoved a large mouthful in but wasn't finding it as pleasant as she had hoped! She'd lifted them from a 'movie afternoon' at day care :)

    I'm glad the wardens were so understanding with your Mum. Last thing you need is to be worrying about how they will react and deal with behaviours like that x

    Very jealous over the Harry Potter visit - oldest has been and its on my wish list to go too. Loved the films, and loved the books even more :D

    Its good to read your Mum is so well settled, learningcurve. With her being in the EMI lounge, it may be that - like my Mil at one stage - she thinks she is there to help look after the other residents, and that she enjoys being there because of that? If your Mum seemed happy enough, then I'd just go along with it - obviously, if she wasn't, then yes, you have to say something. The wrong name, I would mention - I can only imagine that would confuse your Mum further - and its a bit disrespectful, to not even get her name right!

    As for the hair - hmmmm, I have a similar issue. There is a visiting hairdresser at day care, comes every two weeks and Mil was apparently asking each time if she could have her hair done too. When I was told, I arranged for a sum of cash to be left there (which I top up when needed) and said that yep, Mil could have her hair done whenever she wanted. Unfortunately, the cut is always dreadful! Mils hair is thick and curly/wavy and this hairdresser never seems to take any heed to the way her hair naturally (and very stubbornly) falls - with the result that her hair always now looks a little lop-sided and uneven to me. But - Mil likes having her hair done there, she enjoys it - and no matter how I think it looks, she is very happy with it. I can usually get it looking semi-decent with a bit of care when I style it, so I've decided that it is just 'my' problem - the main thing is, Mil is happy and she enjoys the experience. At this stage, any pleasure she gets is a bonus - so I say nothing about the dradful cut :)

    Mil was again on a 'loop' last night. At day care I was told that she had been 'on the go' all day, coat on and wanting home, not sitting for more than a few moments here and there. As soon as we walked through the door to leave she announced that 'tomorrow will be my last day there, Ann - I've decided to stay home with the baby instead'! *sigh*. I told her that now wasn't the time to discus it, that i had to drive - and that if she wasn't quiet so I could drive safely, I would take her back into day care - and her son could come and pick her up when he finished work at 9pm! It seemed to mainly work. Once or twice when she started, I simply 'growled' her name and orderd 'Remember - be quiet while I'm driving', and she subsided.

    Back home, and the loop became a determination to get into the kitchen. She was up and down from her seat all night and we had 3 or 4 stumbles that had my heart in my mouth. Asking to use the phone all the time too - to call her son, then her husband, then her Dad. I tried saying 'Well - do you know the number?'. She said no, she didn't - but if she dialled 999, the police would tell her! I made doubly sure the phone was well hidden after that. Its now getting, when I am solo with her, more and more impossible to take your eyes off her for even a second :( As soon as I am out of her sight, she has to do something - head for the door, fiddle with the remote, start messing with any item that she can - like kindles or tablets, or school bags or - well - just anything, really. I struggled to get the food done for tea as I had to stop quite literally every two minutes to either put the TV back to what she wanted, or because I could hear her up from her seat and had to check what she was up to now and rescue whatever item she had her mitts on before it either was 'lost' or damaged. And throughout, a pretty much constant heading for the kitchen or asking to phone people that she simply couldn't phone (mainly because they were either in work - or dead!) and then nagging at me 'Why won't you let me phone? Why are you being cruel? I only want to talk to my Dad/Mum/Husband. They will be wondering where I am. Just let me use the phone Ann - I'll give you the money for the call. Why are you not letting me talk to my family? Why are you doing this? Just give me the phone, Ann. I'll tell the police if you don't '. It really sets you on edge when its just non-stop and nothing you can say seems to be understood or listened to.

    8pm, I told her it was '10 o'clock' (I know - just call me Pinnochio!) and she announced that was 'very late' and she wanted her bed. Meds given, helped her get washed and changed and tucked her in. All quiet till just after 5a.m., then again at 6.30, when she was thumping round her room and I had to ask her to go back to bed. I'm already looking forward to the mini bus coming at around 9a.m. - just got to get through getting her up, washed, dressed and ready first!

    Hope you guys all have a good day xxxx
     
  5. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,585
    West Midlands
    #3485 2jays, Nov 4, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2015
    Learning Curve - my mum has been called by her middle name since she was 5 years old, The only people to call my mum by her first name were her parents..... so when "officials" talk to her and use her first name, she ignores them....

    I'm using made up names here,
    We have a white board in mums room and on it, writ large, is "the name I respond to is CHAIN" It is also written in her care notes as "Daisy CHAIN Surname"

    Be aware though, after a time, she might respond better to her first name than her more used name. This is happening to my mum, which, the first time she responded to it, was a bit of a shock to me. I asked her who someone was in the picture, she said its Daisy, that's me. When I asked if another picture was you Chain, she said, no it's me Daisy... for the rest of that day, the carers used her first name as she responded better..... :( it now fluctuates and if one name is ignored, the other one is used.

    It's a rocky road we all walk on isn't it xxxxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  6. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    Ann - is there a possibility of day care keeping her, at least once or twice a week, for OH to pick up later? Just to give you a bit more time without the loops.

    Have a great visit to the HP experience, Slugsta. I loved those books, too - more than the films - and am slowly reading my way through them in Spanish, which is a perfect way to consolidate a new language as a) it's written for children, so simple, and b) you know the stories so well that you can guess most of the unknown words. --Mind you, it does mean that when in Spain I can say, 'I would like to buy a toad and a cauldron,' but not 'Where can I buy a set of saucepans?' for example!
     
  7. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    LOL RedLou. My hubby used to read the 'Asterix the Gaul' books in French - and had similar problems with useable vocabulary :) I didn't enjoy the HP books but did watch the films with pleasure, ain't folk strange? :D

    Ann, I really don't know how you cope! Is there anything left of the MIL you used to know? I remember you saying that she would come home from DC with a bag full of purloined goodies, I didn't expect to be in the same position so soon.

    The wardens where Mum lives are very good and say that she will be able to stay there, with help, for a long time yet (which is good because Mum will not be self-funding so I expect the state to leave her there until a crisis occurs!). It was Mum's neighbour who told me about Cakegate, she takes his little dog out every morning and he keeps an eye on her generally.

    I'm a bit frustrated about Day Centre, she finally agreed to go but it seems that we need a financial assessment first and I have heard nothing about that. I think I am going to change our days out to a Wednesday, that will do away with one excuse for not going to DC! Her trolly and chair raisers came yesterday, I told her that she must use the trolly. Her rollator arrived this morning but have not unpacked it. It was only £36, including delivery, so I hope it will be OK.

    Anyhoo, I must get on my broomstick and head out.
     
  8. learningcurve

    learningcurve Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    22
    Hampshire
    2jays - Mum does respond to her first name, but she rolled her eyes at me and laughed when her carer used it but I think that was because it is a very unusual name and the carer didn't pronounce it correctly. I have never heard of anyone else having that name.

    Ann - I think Mum probably ended up in that lounge as she spends a few hours every day in the manager's office (who is also her carer) which is in the EMI unit. She loves it in there and spends time writing little notes down from the posters on the wall. But as it was Sunday she wasn't there. As for the hair, well... I may take my curling tongs with me next time and restyle it for her and hope they take the hint :D
     
  9. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,585
    West Midlands
    I know what you mean about pronouncing the "odd" sounding name. Mums too is very unusual :D :D


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  10. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    After almost 8 months of mum having no interest in the phone whatsoever, she now does and is back to those air messages she used to leave for my brother. She can no longer dial a number, just picks up hand set and talks. Also answering when it rings and I am out of the room, so back to unplugging.
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,840
    Female
    South coast
    You may find that curling her hair will become a rather nice shared thing between you. Mum loves having her nails manicured and painted and its something I like to do for her.
     
  12. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,021
    Female
    Chester
    Ooh Piph that Manuka Honey dressing sounds interesting. Lots of skin wounds from time to time in this house, (occupational hazard for racing cyclists) so will look into it.

    Really bouncing with brother today, nearly lost us mum's house sale due to incompetence. Not really sure what's going on now. I thought it was due to be finalised any day, now looks like he only appointed solicitor after a sharp email from me today!!!!:eek::eek: lots of words with stars in:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

    He is unemployed and kids are school age so he has plenty of time during the day to deal with this stuff.

    Re Clarks - I should add that as I take the kids to the Outlet store for school shoes, so saving money (actually nearest shop to me and lots of space) I always think I can justify at least one pair of shoes for me (think 2 pairs and a pair of boots is the best I've managed:D:D)
     
  13. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    #3493 Ann Mac, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
    Morning all,

    Another early start here - once again, Mil has been up and banging noisily round her room. Most mornings now, its sometime between 5 - 6 a.m. when she first stirs and if I don't get her back to bed (sometimes 2 or 3 times) then she comes down the stairs and is rattling at the front room door (which now has a lock on it) and she is noisy enough to wake everyone in the house. I put her back to bed just before 5, and she has just gone to the loo again about 3 minutes ago - I think she has got back into bed, but as she was certain that she has a train to catch to the ferry port, I'm fairly sure she will be up again before too long! Yesterdays reason for getting up just after 5 was that she had a meeting with her boss from the laundry to hand in her notice :rolleyes:

    Mil's also not known by her actual first name - or her second, for that matter ! She goes by what I assume her family decided to shorten her name to, when she was young - other than sharing the same initial letter, there is little similarity between her given name (s) and what she goes by. In fact, she actually didn't really know what her given names were until I tracked down her birth certificate when she needed a passport several years ago - then we found out that she had been wrongly thinking that the name she had been given at confirmation was part of her real name - it was a mess to sort out, to get her a passport - not helped by the fact that the priest who officiated at her wedding and who filled in her marrriage certificate had also made a mistake!. All her 'official' stuff, like bank accounts, were in the name she goes by (her hospital notes still are) and all had to be sorted for her to travel abroad. If anyone fastened onto using her 'actual' names, she would be stumped and not have a clue who they were talking to! We managed to sort the right name onto her pension and with a lot of other 'official' stuff, but I am betting that when we do lose her, this mix up over names will re-surface and cause more confusion - it caused some issues with her house sale (though thankfully, we were able to sort them without too much grief!).

    Red, Mil staying later is something we do if we have something special on - as a one off, it doesn't cost her any extra - and nor does she have to cut back her hours on another day to make up. However, I think if we made it a regular thing, there would be 'adjustments' to be made to the other days :(

    I feel for you Tin, with the phone - I don't think a day goes by here when Mil doesn't ask to use it - but never to phone anyone who its possible for her to phone, sadly. But she nags, often for an hour or more at a time, not accepting any distraction and completely ignoring us when we end up resorting to explaining that the person she wants has passed away. When we ask her for the number she wants to ring, sometimes she is surprised she needs a number, sometimes she claims that we 'know it', sometimes she surprises me by reeling off her old phone number (complete with dialling code) and the other day she told me that if she rang '999' the police would know! I think that she could still manage to call 999 :( The phone is permenantly hidden, most evenings and even during the day at weekends - there have been a few times when I've forgotten to put it on to re-charge, too, which is a right pain. And a few times when it hasn't been hidden in the 'usual place' (because she has been watching) and unless the person who has hid it is present, then when it rings there is a mad scramble to find the flipping thing!

    Not surprised that you were furious with your brother, JM - sorting a house sale is stressful enough without mess ups like that!

    I hope the financial assessment doens't take too long, Slugsta - I couldn't cope without the break DC give me!

    Well, Mil had a new one last night. She started by asking OH did he not miss home? He explained he was home. She said she meant Ireland. He told her he had never lived there. She was surprised - because that's where his Mum and Dad came from. At OH's 'Eh????' she went on to say that his parents were *P* and *M* - naming her brother and late sister in law. OH asked her - hoping to help her get her thinking a bit clearer - did she not have any kids? 'Only you', she said - then she seemed to realise that she had also said that her brother and Sil were his parents - and announced that she adopted OH after his 'real mother' died when he was a baby! Such a tale she then began to spin - amazingly detailed, very articulate - and not one word of truth in any of it! And despite OH trying to distract and eventually going to to 'I don't want to talk about this', it was like a scab that she couldn't stop picking. 'Do you mind that you are adopted?' Have I upset you? I brought you up so I always told you you were my son. Does it bother you? Do you mind that I lied to you'. As OH said said later, she was so convincing that had he not known that far from 'dying when he was born' that his Auntie actually didn't pass away till the late 1980's, if he hadn't seen his birth certificate and if he hadn't in the past spoken to several family members who had talked of his birth in detail (His Mum had been trying to have a child for about 8 years before he was born, so his arrival was quite a big event in the family) then he could have found himself actually wondering if there was any truth in what she was saying.

    On and on and on she went, even a blunt 'Stop it NOW - I don't want to hear another word' having no effect and in the end, it really wound him up - not surprising, as she was barely stopping to draw breath. He told her to go to her room, just before 8pm - and there she stayed for the rest of the night! The sheer persistence and relentleesness when she is like that absolutely beggars belief. You can't change the subject, concentrate on anything else, you can't hear the TV or relax in any way. She will get right up into your face, call your name repeatedly to ensure you are listening to what she is saying - I don't think she even wants a response, she just wants all your attention, as the story becomes more detailed and complex and she just doesn't stop talking. Agree/disagree with her - doesn't matter - she simply won't shut up.

    I know that at one point, she and Fil did look into adoption, before she got pregnant with OH - they did it through the Catholic church and Fil (not as 'devout' as Mil once was) took offence at some of the 'conditions' that they tried to impose and they pulled out. I'm assuming that the fantasy has it roots in that ? Just hoping that its not a delusion we hear again - OH said that even understanding that she can't help it, he did find it quite hurtful :(

    Taking my pup for his pre-neutering health check today. He is such a tiny thing that we had been advised to leave him till he was 12 or even 18 months old to have him 'done' - he's just 12 months now and I don't think any of us can put up with leaving it any longer, TBH! Apart from the obvious issues, his love of very much larger dogs when he is out walking is going to lead to him getting badly bitten - rather like Mil, he can't take a firm 'No', at the moment :rolleyes:

    Hope you guys all have a good day xxxx
     
  14. piph

    piph Registered User

    Feb 4, 2013
    1,530
    Northamptonshire
    #3494 piph, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
    It really is phenomenal, jugglingmum. I swear by it now for any wounds.

    PS But make sure it's the 'medicinal' one - it usually comes in a tube. I somehow don't think the one in a jar would be very effective, and extremely messy as well :p
     
  15. Bagpuss77j

    Bagpuss77j Registered User

    Nov 5, 2015
    30
    Wirral
    TV real

    Hi my mum just this morning said that the women on the TV had robbed her handbag and we done nothing about it! It's as though reality is merging with fantasy and she cannot differentiate between things it's upsetting for me to witness this and I hate seeing the bewilderment in her face when I think a little part o her realises what she as said x
     
  16. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Hi Bagpuss, tv and the lives of people on it got so mixed up with real life, but now she seems able to know the difference although occasionally mix ups happen. We go out shopping and for coffee most mornings and last week she told a friend of mine that we have coffee with that man on tv [George Clooney] the mix up obviously comes out of the fact that we have the same coffee maker as that man on tv!! Sentences are still a bit unconnected, but strangely I am beginning to understand a lot of it and she repeats a lot of lines she hears or reads on tv, but does not read books or newspapers anymore, she likes to hold or put them in her many pockets.
     
  17. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    JM, how terribly vexatious for you! I do hope that the sale proceeds smoothly now. We completed on the sale of my late MIL's bungalow last week. Sadly, the lovely dosh that is currently sitting in my husband's account has to be split 7 ways!

    Ann it does seem that your MIL gets an idea in her head and cannot be deflected. I can understand how unsettling the 'adoption' thing must be, even if you are 100% certain of the truth. As it happens, my father was adopted but he didn't find out until his adopted mother died (he was grown up and married by then, I don't know if they had me) and his 'father' said 'I don't know what you are upset about, she wasn't even your mother...' :eek:

    We really enjoyed the Harry Potter studio tour yesterday. We were there for around 3 hours but could have stayed much longer - if we had had the energy! Hubby had booked a cheap hotel only a few miles away - but we got there to be told that they had been trying to contact us. No room as ours had flooded and all the others were booked. They did phone around and find us a room in a Holiday Inn quite near by although it was more expensive. We made good time getting home today but are both tired having spent a sleepless night (as is always the way with my first night in any new bed).

    The rollator for Mum looks OK, will see what she thinks about it tomorrow.
     
  18. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

  19. learningcurve

    learningcurve Registered User

    Oct 9, 2015
    22
    Hampshire
    #3499 learningcurve, Nov 5, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2015
    OOh I'd give anything to have a coffee with George Clooney :D

    My Mum got a little confused from some magazine she had picked up in the lounge of her care home, some trivial showbiz mag, I didn't really read what it was about but the gist of it was that someone in a soap I think it was had heart problems and she thought that it was about her. She said 'I didn't think my heart was that bad'......it isn't, there's nothing wrong with her heart.
     
  20. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Morning all,

    I think I'm going to have to actually go into town and to one of the health food shops to lay my hands on that manuka honey, Pip - neither the local chemist nor the local branch of a much bigger chain seem to stock it, unfortunately - fingers crossed that I can get it in the town :) I changed her dressing yesterday - its still 'gaping' and oozing , its only closed slightly, though thankfully, no sign of infection.

    Hi Bagpuss, Mil regularly gets the TV mixed up with reality here. We have to be very careful about what we put on for her to watch. I can be grateful that unlike your Mum, Mil's insight and realisation has I think more or less gone now, so we rarely get the bewilderment or embaressment if she suddenly realises that she has got mixed up any more. Better for her in some ways - though I also think that its now harder to shake her from the more upsetting tv-induced delusions and calm her down.

    Slugsta, what an awful thing for your OH's Dad to say to him - talk about brutal! Yes - it was upsetting for OH - even knowing the truth, she was so darn insistant that I think you can still find yourself thinking 'maybe . . . .'. So glad you enjoyed the Harry Potter experience, though its a shame about the hotel!

    Massive thanks too, Slugsta, for that link - you know, I've mentioned the issues with Mil and getting tights or socks on her to a few 'medical' professionals, and not one of them have ever told me that its a recognised symptom of LBD - I know Mils diagnosis has only just been 'changed' to that, from VasD and AZ, but even so - wouldn't you have thought that someone would have picked up on it! Instead its been sort of dismissed with an air of 'Nope - don't know why' each time I've mentioned it, and I have very definitely wondered about if it could be sheer deliberate awkwardness from Mil. Not sure how I am going to apply to 'automatic' trigger in a way that gets her to lift her feet for getting shoes or pop socks on (because she does need help with them too on occasion now) but knowing that it really isn't her being difficult makes such a difference - so thanks for that xxx

    Learningcurve, someone on here (sorry to whoever, but I can't for the life of me remember exactly who) referred to what they call 'Me too' with their loved one. Its sounds like that's what you are describing with your Mum, and t like what several of us have also encountered. Situations that are seen on TV, read about in books or that are happening to others are sort of 'adopted' by the person with dementia, and they are firmly convinced that whatever they have seen or heard is all about them. An example - my son hurt his leg, and I had to take Mil with us when I took him to A&E - within minutes, Mil was firmly convinced that it was HER who had hurt her leg. Its almost like everything they encounter must be specifically about them. I think its part of the whole seemingly 'self centered' attitude that many of us find out L.O.s develop with dementia.

    Running really late here this morning, with one thing and another, so will pop back later and catch up properly - all OK, just one of those mornings, lol :rolleyes: xxxx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.