So bizarre !

[Ann Mac]

Trouble is Ann, what MiL NEEDS is to go to a proper well run residential assessment unit so that staff can see the behavior and adjust medication until something works. And that doesn't seem to be available in your area. Can you go back to the consultant and ask for another review? You can't go on like this - its not fair on any of you, nor is is sustainable. Could MiL go to respite care with visits from the doctor and some form of recording her behaviour?

Everyone - CPN, DC, GP - agree that a stay in an assessment unit would be an ideal next move, Moonflower - unfortunately, as you say, it just is not available here Even a respite stay, with someone visiting as you suggest isn't going to happen (would have to be consultant, her GP doesn't consider himself specialised in dementia care and - probably quite rightly - says he hasn't enough knowledge or experience to make the medication changes that would probably be needed ) - but we don't even have a permenant consultant, just a series of temp locums, all of whom have their own pet theories and approaches, so there wouldn't be the consistency needed. I can ask for a review, whenever I like - and would probably get one within a few weeks - BUT, again, each time it will be a different consultant from the last time - and then a different consultant again at the next appointment. She has seen three different consultants in the last 5 months - none of whom agreed with the meds (or even the diagnosis) of any of the others! The CPN, the GP, even a senior manager from Adult Social Care all agree that its a dreadful situation - but all say that's how it is and that it isn't going to change. I've given up expecting any effective help from that direction

 

[CeliaW]

I think there may well be a need for a change of medication and proper residential assessment to do so. Its impossible and inhumane for you and your family to try and live with this and nothing you do is going to change MiL I fear. Once in this mode, there is little that is likely to work in the way of distraction techniques.

Just a thought, but have you tried contacting the Admiral nurse helpline? I imagine you would call the national one as I don't think there is one for Wales specifically.
The number and email contact is on this page: https://www.dementiauk.org/information-support/admiral-nursing-direct/

However, when looking to see if there was, I came across this which might be helpful.

"Wales Dementia Helpline

The Wales Dementia Helpline offers emotional support to anyone,of any age, who is caring for someone with Dementia as well as other family members or friends. You can discuss your feelings and fears with someone who understands, but is not emotionally involved.

A comprehensive database of services, both statutory and voluntary, is available, services can be local to you or national contacts, if needed.

The helpline is free to call and you do not have to give any personal details to obtain help or information. They can be reached on 0808 808 2235 or you can text 'help' to 81066."

Its taken from this page: http://www.nhsdirect.wales.nhs.uk/encyclopaedia/d/article/dementiacareandsupport/

Either or both may have some useful advice and provide support.

Big hugs, it must be so difficult and draining x

 

[Katrine]

Tickle her feet?

So interesting to read about the rigid limbs being an involuntary response. Small children also do this, and not always to be deliberately awkward!

I often wondered if it was brain confusion. Mostly the child's physical movements are automatic, OR, the child consciously attempts a sequence of movements that it wants to learn or improve. When the child is being instructed to move, you often see a big struggle going on in their mind to focus on your voice, and the task. It's as if you are having to work hard to refocus their attention. Sometimes this rigidity of limb seems to be a response to brain overload, or stress.

My mum taught me this trick to deal with the foot stuck to the floor scenario. Tickle the child's instep to get them to lift their foot. It's another involuntary response. Could you try this with MIL, Ann?

 

[Amy in the US]

Ann, for what it's worth, no, I don't think you are missing out anything obvious. You have clearly tried all the textbook approaches with compassionate communication, listening, reassuring, redirecting, et cetera, and it clearly just is not working. When she sundowns (or whatever she's doing at night), she really does it. I've not come across any examples of such extreme behaviour here on TP, in the books I've read, or in my (real life) dementia support groups, although my experience is hardly vast.

My best guess is that she is progressing and is overdue for a medication assessment and change, as others have said. I also understand you don't have access to the residential assessment unit that you need. I just don't know what to suggest. It is not sustainable, you are running yourselves ragged, and I hate that you are going to have to wait for the crisis for something to change.

Ann, are you familiar with the Lewy Body Society? I found them when I was Googling something or other, and wondered if they would have any information that might be helpful for you. http://lewybody.org

I think we all wish we had some ideas, or ways, to help you.

 

[Pegsdaughter]

Ann obviously I do not know of your financial situation but could you possibly pay for a private assessment? It seems to me that when you have to pay they listen . I think the vet is more open to listening as they see the cash in front of them.


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[RedLou]

I was wondering about private assessment -- at a centre of excellence - e.g. Addenbrooke's. ?? Presumably her funds could be used for that and would a very legitimate use if it made her calmer. Apart from anything else, it might make it more feasible for her to remain with you longer. As it is - at least this is my impression - she's becoming unbearable. Or should I say, I could not live with what you live with, Ann. You're a bleedin' saint, girl, and don't you forget it! *hug*

 

[jugglingmum]

Pegsdaughter and Redlou's suggestion is a good one, although a centre of excellence a bit nearer than Addenbrooks I'd guess as I can't imagine the car journey to get her there and back. You can't go on like this. It is a form of mental torture.

Well phone call today to say mum had a 6 month review appt with CPN - no letter here so guess went to her flat. Rearranged for a fortnight. Would have had to cancel as son off school anyway - passed my lurgy onto him.

Still bouncing re brother and lack of sale of mum's house. Sadly my OH has been proved right about bro, but I just can't do it all so thought I'd trust him with this. Lots of complications seem to have arisen as a result is my interpretation of emails, but not got full details yet. I'm going to have to phone him, but will lose my temper which won't help matters.

Slugsta - glad HP was good - how annoying about hotel!

Tin - alot of women have dreamed about having coffee with George Clooney, there'll be a queue if he ever makes himself available.

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Thanks so much Celia, for going to the trouble of finding that link for me - I actually rang the number yesterday, but didn't get chance to get back on here afterwards. Spoke to a really lovely lady, who's almost instantaneous response was 'Consider putting her in a residential home!'. That was before I'd actually said very much at all. I explained (with many interuprtions) that what I was actually ringing about was that we were struggling with behaviours that could possibly be helped by a medication change, which we had been advised was best dealt with by a stay in an assessment unit where her meds could be monitored and tweaked by medically qualified staff. Then I explained the situation with the assessment unit, the lack of a permanent consultant psychiatrist and how all that meant that Mil was being denied treatment that could very much benefit her.

"Thats very sad - You should consider her going into a home" A lot of advice about getting a SW on side to help find Mil a place quickly - she was a bit surprised when I explained that I'd been told there was no point Mil having an SW as the local service couldn't provide what she probably needed anyway - but nothing daunted, she then gave me advice on getting Mils name down for every home that I thought might be suitable in the area. Oh - and write letters to everybody that I can think of - people respond to letters.

She was very polite, lots of sympathetic noises but openly admitted that she had no experience or knowledge about the type of situation I was asking advice about ( I don't think about many other issues either) and it was clear that as far as she was concerned, the only solution to everything was to go down the residential route - and I really think if I had phoned saying that I was struggling with mobility, incontinence or any one of a number of other issues, the only advice would have been the same - 'Consider a residential home'.

Katrine - the idea of tickling her feet might just work! Brilliant suggestion - thank you x And Amy, thanks for the link to the LBD society - I didn't even know such a thing existed, lol - i've ben trying to read up/learn by watching a lot of Teepa Snow video's over the last couple of days - any info I can get my hands has got to be a help

The idea of seeing if we can get a private assessment is a good one - its something I'm going to talk over with OH as soon as I can - thanks Pegsdaughter and Red x

Are letters about your Mum's appointments supposed to come to you JM? We had that issue - no matter how many times I phoned round GP and various hospital departments and explained that if we weren't told about an appointment, the chances of Mil remembering were roughly zero, still they persisted in only letting Mil know. Several times I found letters saying she was being removed from various specialists lists because of not showing up to appointments. I really hope that sorting out whatever it is that your brother has got wrong/not done, doesn't land you with a shedload of more work - I would be furious in your shoes, too!

Thank Goodness, Mil wasn't as bad last night - I think she was pretty much worn out, TBH! DC reported that again, from about lunch time, she had been on the 'let me out/take me home' loop for them. Speaking to the senior last night, her biggest concern was Mil's refusal to sit for more than a minute at a time - she is constantly roving round the place, never still and the 'parkinsons gait' means that the combination of tiny steps, forward leaning posture and the speed at which Mil tries to move has them all on pins, waiting for her to fall Its not helped by her tending to walk through, rather than round any obstacle in her path. And again, its the ability to deflect any sort of distraction or love lies and the refusal/inability to listen or accept anything said to reassure her. From what was said, Mil is more or less demanding one to one attention, as she has to be responded to every couple of minutes and is constantly interupting the staff trying to give attention to anyone else. They seem as stymied as I am, at a loss to find a way to deal with this current behaviour. I think they are possibly as glad to see her go at 5pm as I am to see her go at 9a.m.!

When we first got home, Mil was quite rude - it transpired that she thought she owned this house, and thought that I was being very rude 'acting like YOU own it, Ann'!. Brief cross exchange and she slumped in the lounge for a sulk - and she was just shattered! We had a few almost half-hearted delusions - an insistance for several minutes that of course I know her Grandmother and should tell Mil what 'Nana MulCachy' (sp?) thought about the fun we had had with her and what she had said about 'the little lad' when she rang me earlier. I left the room on some pretext or other, and I honestly think Mil was just too tired to get up and follow me - for a change! Bed just after 9pm, and all quiet till about 6.30 a.m., when I had to get her dressed back into her pj's and back to bed - the bed was dry at that point, hoping it has stayed that way!

Usual Saturday errands and activities, hoping to squeeze in a trip to sort out a walking frame for Mil - OH's shifts have made that a bit difficult this last week.

Hope you all have a good day xxxx

 

[CeliaW]

Ann, sorry the Welsh helpline wasn't that much help in terms of practical - maybe it's more use for "uninvolved" emotional support? Hopefully the Admiral Nurse helpline could be more useful with practical suggestions.

I wish you as peaceful a day as possible xx

 

[Tin]

Don't know how you cope Ann. Have to say if mum was as bad as mil I would be in the hospital bed by now, if there was one available. Hope you find some time for yourself this weekend.

 

[Slugsta]

(((Ann))) I really don't know how you are coping with MIL. I know for sure that I wouldn't be able to deal with even half of what you are putting up with every day. I wish there was something practical I could do or say to help.

(((JM))) siblings can be a bliddy nuisance, sometimes I am glad to be a singleton! OH had big problems with one of his sisters after MIL died earlier this year, it made things far more difficult than they needed to be

Lots of loud bangs here tonight. Small cat is deaf, so unconcerned; big cat is looking at us to see how he should react. I'm so glad neither of them are distressed by it. How are all your loved ones, do they understand what is happening?

I am now officially married to a pensioner! OH turned 65 today (he is much older than me, of course!) but we are saving the 'celebrations' for when our son joins us tomorrow. Just a quiet lunch for the 3 of us, then round to Mum's with some cake.

Did I tell you that she doesn't like the rollator??

 

[jugglingmum]

Slugsta - I did mean to comment on cakegate - it's the sort of thing my mum would have done pre dementia let alone with dementia, she has always been greedy with left over food, I don't know if it was war time rations or poverty, but my gran wasn't the same.

My brother is just incapable of being organised (he does suffer from depression) rather than being awkward or confrontational but I thought he was dealing with matters, but he has lied to me and hasn't dealt with it as promised. House needs visiting if it has been empty for so long now and sale isn't imminent. Round trip of 7 hours for me if traffic good, and I need to work 5 days a week at the moment (busy time of year at work, not to do with xmas) and then need to look after son at weekends as dau's racing/training occupies OH so not sure how I can fit it in, brother will come up with loads of reasons he can't do it. He was meant to clear house but injured his knee/back or something so couldn't but could still race in a canoe, so I had to clear house as well as sort mum out up here in the first half of 2014. I have no intention of having anything to do with him once mum is dead (wasn't on speaking terms with him before crisis anyway).

Last year my mum turned her lights off and sat and watched fireworks from her window, if she doesn't go to sleep early and remembers the date she will have done the same this year. Current cats (now 10) always seem oblivious but stay inside so not an issue. Dog (12 and a half) doesn't like bangs but is slightly deaf now so not as upset as other years. Kids are always torn between cuddling dog and watching fireworks.

With rollator, if you just leave it there will she start to use it, my mum sometimes starts to use things if you leave them there.

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Celia, please don't apologise - it was worth a try (just about everything is, 'cos you never know ) and I think it was lovely of you to go to the trouble of finding out about the helpline in the first place. I think that she was perhaps a volunteer and it sounded like she was almost reading from a script - she came across as very kind, just without a clue about I actually wanted advice on, bless her

Thanks Tin xxxx

Mil's been fine with the fireworks as far as we can tell, Slugsta - at least there has only been the odd 'What was that noise?', no visable signs of any upset from her. Our old boy, Busta, takes absolutely no notice of them, but Seamus - the pup - if he happened to be outside when one went off, would do his 'grumbling' at the noise and the odd bark. The 'grumbling' is the maddest thing to hear - he is a very chatty pup and if something annoys/frightens/excites him, he makes this strange growley-type noise. Sounds absolutely vicious, or as if he is possesssed to be honest. But there is no nastiness - he just 'moans' until whatever it is out of his system!

Happy Belated Birthday to your OH xxxx

I would be furious with your brother, JM - for goodness sake, as if you are not busy enough! All but one of my siblings are just as darn useless - one of the reasons I see them so rarely, at times in the past its been clear that they see me as the one to 'sort things out' and have a string of excuses as to why they never can. I'm a lot happier since I limited contact and expect nothing from them!

Mil was a minor pain during the day yesterday - it felt like if you asked her to do one thing, she would immediately do something else, right from when she got up. Asked her to sit at the table whilst I fetched her brekkie - nope, she would walk to the dining room couch and sit there. Ask her to wash her face - nope, she would start washing the top of her leg. Ask her to put her slippers on properly to walk from the bathrrom to her bedroom to dress - nope, one slipper half on and the other carried. She refused to go and visit her friend 'Not up to it' she said. That was OK, but she also said she wasn't 'up to' going to get a walking frame - that wasn't OK, she really needed that sorting, so we insisted.

On the way to the shop, she was mostly convinced we were going to the airport to catch a plane - to go to her old house (about 11 miles away!) - and she asked repeatedly about would we get the car on the plane? In the shop, she tried out a frame - and took to it like a duck to water, actually exclaiming that 'I feel safe with this!'. Height and everything checked and she walked out of the shop using it! We made a brief stop in a supermarket - wanted to see how she managed - and she certainly got round the shop under her own steam - slowly, but no heart stopping near-falls and without hanging onto anyone's arm or needing her wheelchair. There was a tendency to not walk in a straight line though, she kept veering off to the left - so out and about, she does need someone alongside to guide her.

Back home and she started with the 'nagging' - fixing on her Dad again. OH went up to her room, found and old film on her telly and strongly suggested that it was time for her 'afternoon nap' - up she went, and pretty much stayed there till tea time. Which was bliss! After tea, she was again fairly quiet and we had no isses other than the odd bit of confabulation and delusion, both pretty easily dealt with

Bed at 9.15 and seemed to settle. Till just gone midnight when she was knocking at our beroom door, convinced it was ' only 10 o'clock ' and wanting to know why we were all in bed. OH got her settled. 1.30a.m. - she was up again and loudly calling for help because she 'couldn't find the children'. OH got her back again, this time having to be really firm with her, because she wouldn't listen to anything he said to try and reassure (wouldn't even lower her voice!) and in the end it was 'Not listening to you - go back to bed NOW!'. I slept later than usual - probably due to the late night wake ups - but at just before 7a.m., I had to get her back to bed again Just hoping that last night was a one off, because the night time disturbances are so hard to cope with if they start to happen frequently

OH's Sunday in work this week, so probably in for a long day today

Hope you all have a good 'un though xxxx

 

[Slugsta]

I hope today has been better than expected Ann, it's going to be a long one for you, even if MIL is good as gold. Doing what you do is hard enough, coping with that on top of disturbed nights will be extra difficult

Busta sounds adorable, what kind of dogs are they? A while ago Mum was intend on getting a puppy. Thankfully, we managed to talk her out of it as it really wouldn't be a good idea. I do know how she feels, I would love a dog but we just don't have the lifestyle for it (and hubby doesn't want one) so we both have to make do with talking to every dog we meet when we are out. Mum walks her neighbour's little westie at 7.15 every morning!

We had lunch out with son today, then all went round to see Mum. She was a bit flustered because she had forgotten we were going, but was very glad to see us. Especially as we took cake with us She has been using the rollator but finds it goes off to one side. I suspect that might improve with practice.

Quiz night for hubby and I, will take son to catch train first. We don't see him as often as we would like but that is how it is. He works in London and often puts in 7 day weeks, I want him to come here because he wants to, not out of duty.

 

[Spamar]

Hi everybody!
Ann, can only repeat what Tin has said, don't know how you cope, and the further away I get from hands on, the more I wonder!!
JM, I bet you could strangle him!

You will be pleased to know that I had a lovely birthday. Friday, I managed to get through most of the jobs, but it was an effort. Not only were my feet and ankles really, really sore, but my vertigo/nausea came back! Sat morning even worse. Struggling to get through, then, a knock on the door, and ex Carers singing happy birthday! With present and card! What could I do but ask then in for a drink, which the carer made for all three of us!! Lovely, lovely friends!
Then stepdau, hubby and dog arrived and she took over. Other people arrived early and I was able to sit and direct operations!!
A lovely day, all friends of long standing. It was Fun! Lovely presents, much of it grape related!
A cousin and a great friend stayed the night and burnished their haloes by finishing the washing up ( saucepans and bits that shouldn't go in dishwasher) while I was dressing! We had, of course talked till late over a bottle or two! I slept well, thank goodness. Sleep hasn't been too frequent lately. This morning, no vertigo/ nausea! Feet/ ankles still very sore though.
We then went for a quick drive to our local beauty spots ( Sizewell, Thorpeness, Aldeburgh) and had breakfast at the local best breakfast cafe.
Spent afternoon catching up, on the phone, reading TP!!

Have a good evening, folks!

 

[Essie]

Ann, so happy to read that Mil has taken so well to her walking frame - what a relief! I would guess that the pulling to left is a Parkinson's symptom as it can affect the symmetry of the body apparently.

Spamar good to hear more of your excellent birthday and so pleased that a good day was followed by a really good night's sleep, it makes all the difference in the world to get a decent night's rest.

 

[Slugsta]

Spamar, I am so glad that a day that could have been very difficult went so well

 

[Mrsbusy]

Ann I was reading up about Lewy body dementia and it said that medications given to people with other dementia a can make fabrication and agitation much much worse with Lewy body involvement. Just thought maybe MIL problems are due to this in respect of her constant badgering in the evening and her fabrications. It said they were somehow magnified by being given the wrong type of medication, which sounded to me like one of her problems.

Sounds to me like a bicycle bell will be on two peoples shopping lists this year for Christmas Ann and Slugsta for walking frame and rollater, glad they are being used too.

Lewy body dementia certainly sounds like a whole new ball game and it did say not many people are correctly diagnosed with it and are often misdiagnosed which then leads to wring medication which then causes major headaches all round. Also said dementia with LB is different to LBD. Did mention also how the patient also knows how to play up to person who is becoming agitated with them.

Another thing I did think of Ann is how is MIL in the car with the radio on if it's a music station rather than radio 4 for example? Just wondered.


Hope this helps anyway.

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

I'd so miss it, if we didn't have a dog around the house Slugsta - we (OH and I) both had dogs growing up, though we waited until after we had child number 3 before we got Busta. Lol - we were planning (well in advance) on doing that bad thing of getting a doggy for Christmas - the difference being the kids were going to be told on Xmas Day, then we would take them to a rescue centre AFTER Xmas to hopefully give a home to one of the many abandoned at that time of year. Busta sort of jumped the gun - well before Christmas he turned up in our back garden, a stray - when no one claimed him after a week, he was ours. We say he chose us Both dogs are some sort of terrier cross - not entirely sure what sort of terrier with either, though fairly sure Seamus has either rat terrier or jack russell, and possibly some yorkie. We have a running joke that Seamus is a brand new breed - he has his own hashtag - #SeamusTheShortHairedS**t - believe me, it fits! I'll add a pic at the end - Busta is the very handsome shaggy bigger boy - Seamus is the tiny darker pup

Odd how both the Mum's are pulling to the left with the new walking aids, isn't it? Is your Mum aware that its happening? Mil is, and has started to say that the 'frame must be faulty' . Its very obvious to see that it isn't the frame, that she is veering towards the left herself, but she can't seem to realise it herself. Glad you had a good day with your son, and hope you enjoyed the quiz night too

Really pleased to hear that you had such a nice birthday, Spamar - you deserve it Hope the nausea/vertigo stays gone for you now, though - have you still got someof the meds in? Worth having if you need to knock any lingering symptoms on the head xxxx

Thanks Essie - I wondered if it was the Parkinsons causing the pull to the left, as she has a tendency sometimes to list towards that direction even when walking without the frame.

Hi MrsBusy - yep, Mils meds were all changed by the consultant who diagnosed the LBD - resperidone and mitrazepam stopped. She had been on both for a long time, about 15 months, maybe slightly longer. I did think we would see a reduction in the delusions when the meds were changed, but whats happened is that there has been a reduction in the delusions featuring some sort of extreme violence - we are not hearing much about gunmen or knife wielding maniacs any more. But she still spends the vast majority of her time entrenched in other delusions - I don't think that she is ever, in her head, in reality She never thinks that she is in her son's house, in Wales, with her family - always some part of where she believes she is, what she believes she does, who we are or what she is about to do, is delusional. The only thing I can be grateful for is for the most part, I don't think she now realises now at all that she is confused or may be wrong about these things. At one stage she used to snap back to 'reality' and realise that she had been confused and it would make her dreadfully upset. She would ask if she was 'going mad' or if she was 'mental' - that just doesn't happen any more, and I'm glad of it for her sake.

Yep - I read about how many people are mis-diagnosed. Mils original diagnosis of dementia (VaD and AZ) was several years ago - it was only 3 months ago that the diagnosis was changed to LBD, despite CPN, Social Workers and staff at day care querying if the original diagnosis was right and saying they felt she quite possibly had LBD. I haven't read anything about 'dementia with LB' being different to LBD ? Need to do more research I think. We always have a music station on in the car with Mil - we tend to go for Smooth, as there is nothing heavy or too modern on there. Having said that, Mil seems to have lost all interest in music - when she first moved in, I made up dozens of play lists on youtube for her (Irish folk, 50's and 60's, Elvis, Tom Jones) - - if I put them on now, she doesn't seem to have any interest at all.

I can believe you on the 'playing up' - we had a fair bit of that yesterday! Very much 'Lady of the Manor' - she seemed to think that she owned this house and the things in it. Which would be OK, if she didn't try to throw her weight around so much! After OH left for work, within 10 minutes she was rattling at the locked bedroom doors - and woke youngest up, who is a very deprived teen as despite loving her bed, Sunday is the only day when she does have a lie in! That went down like a lead ballon The rest of the day was peppered with her basically being really aggrivating - the determination to go into the kitchen (Its MY kitchen - I'll go in if I want!') or out the patio doors, despite the intermittant heavy rain and the fact that it was blowing a gale all day. Kept telling us she just wanted to 'get something' or 'find something' from those two places (and on one occasion from my bedroom, where she demanded that I unlock the door and I was asked 'How dare I' try and stop her going where she wants in her own house!) - but she refused to say what it was she wanted and with the 'smirk' fixed on her face, I'm pretty sure it was more about being where she had some idea that she wasn't supposed to go! After lunch, daughter had asked could she watch some stuff that she had recorded. Mil wasn't really paying any attention to the TV, and unlike daughter, Mil does have a tv in her room anyway, so I said yes.

All afternoon it was then - 'Give me the remote for the TV, Ann, now!' - if I explained that daughter was watching something, I was told that 'Tough - its MY televison'. When I refused to give in, it was instant heading for the kitchen or she would 'wander' round, picking up and fiddling with various items that weren't her's. I'd left my camera on the table, as I'd noticed some new visitors at my bird feeders and wanted to be able to grab it quick to try and get some shots. Eventually Mil made the mistake of going for my camera. That was the last straw - she was told to go upstairs.

An hour later, back down, at least sitting in the lounge and not wandering, but clearly in a bad mood, judging by the huffs and puffs and odd comment she made. I put the evening meal out and called Mil through to the table. She informed me that she didn't want it now. That I could 'get it for' her later, when she was ready. I politely asked her to come and eat now, as I said I didn't want to be cooking and washing up for a second time later in the evening. Again I was told 'tough' - and that she didn't care what I wanted. SHE would decide when I would give her her meals, not me! That she was 'entitled' to eat at her convenience and didn't care about mine.

Really? I don't think so - not with that attitude! Very bluntly told she either ate now, or it would go in the bin and she could wait for the next days breakfast to eat. When I actually took her plate to the bin, you could see the panic on her face and she moved her backside fairly quickly to the table. And - as always - cleared her plate! After tea, she went back to the demanding the remote and getting increasingly cross when I refused - we had two programmes recording, so were watching something on planner and I didn't want her cancelling the recordings. She kept saying that she wanted to watch 'her' programme - but couldn't say what it was called or even say what it was about. When I wouldn't comply, back to the wandering and messing with others things - going through the pockets on coats on the pegs, picking up dau's school bag, heading for the kitchen to find/fetch more 'things' (though she refused again to say what 'things' she wanted'), up the stairs then back down demanding that I open either a bedroom or her wardrobe door. 7.30 and enough - she was told to go upstairs and watch her telly there. Thankfully she went. 9, I took up meds and got her properly changed, and all quiet since. Not a majorly bad day, as such - just one 'niggle' and aggrivation after another, so it was a long day.

Can hear her rambling round her bedroom now, so will have to head up and sort her - OH has another 12 hour shift today and I am very glad that she is back in day care!

Hope you all have a good day xxxx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Hi everybody!
Ann, can only repeat what Tin has said, don't know how you cope, and the further away I get from hands on, the more I wonder!!
JM, I bet you could strangle him!

You will be pleased to know that I had a lovely birthday. Friday, I managed to get through most of the jobs, but it was an effort. Not only were my feet and ankles really, really sore, but my vertigo/nausea came back! Sat morning even worse. Struggling to get through, then, a knock on the door, and ex Carers singing happy birthday! With present and card! What could I do but ask then in for a drink, which the carer made for all three of us!! Lovely, lovely friends!
Then stepdau, hubby and dog arrived and she took over. Other people arrived early and I was able to sit and direct operations!!
A lovely day, all friends of long standing. It was Fun! Lovely presents, much of it grape related!
A cousin and a great friend stayed the night and burnished their haloes by finishing the washing up ( saucepans and bits that shouldn't go in dishwasher) while I was dressing! We had, of course talked till late over a bottle or two! I slept well, thank goodness. Sleep hasn't been too frequent lately. This morning, no vertigo/ nausea! Feet/ ankles still very sore though.
We then went for a quick drive to our local beauty spots ( Sizewell, Thorpeness, Aldeburgh) and had breakfast at the local best breakfast cafe.
Spent afternoon catching up, on the phone, reading TP!!

Have a good evening, folks!

What a lovely birthday, Spamar! Belated best wishes.....