Been reading back a bit on your post, oh my huge sympathies, sounds absolutely awful especially the evening disturbances. When you read it in black and white it is startling.
Catheters. OH developed retention of urine when in hospital for heart bypass and valve replacement nearly three years ago after problems with enlarged prostate for some time. He pulled out !!! the entire catheter a few times when extremely confused, and he now has a suprapubic one that goes into the tummy. He used to get the sensation of needing to pee out of his penis as well, and due to the damage he caused himself it leaks and is painful sometimes. There seem to be a great variiety in types of catheter and care advised looking at replies to your posts. We had advice from a continence nurse and that service provided the bags, stand, straps and all the paraphernalia, while the DNs attended once a week to change the day bag. We tried a night bag on a stand but as he continually got in and out of bed it wasn't a great success. He also frequently opens the taps at night and floods the bed. Oh the washing and disturbed nights! They were a factor in the decision that he needed full time care, I was exhausted. He's now been in the care home over a year, and still causes problems at night with opening the bag and flooding the bed - usually telling me the night staff did it... At least there are now other people there to deal with it. He tolerates the suprapublic catheter quite well, the senior nurse changes it every 12 weeks. He has never been offered antibiotics when it's been changed. He has had many UTIs, they have to send the sample away for a culture as there is always some infection with a foreign body in the bladder. I always struggled to get him to drink enough, they do much better there. So the point of this ramble is to say - get the continence service involved for advice, they are the specialists. Bear in mind you could ask about a suprapubic catheter if he is still fiddling, it will be put in in hospital but changed at home just like the one you have already. ( I've been writing so long somebody else has probably said all this...") GOOD LUCK!!!!!