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R.i.p "l"

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Today i found out the lady "L" in the nursing home most responsible for my mum's happininess in there died on sunday:(:(:(

I am utterly and totally devastated, broke down in tears at the home.


:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
I am sad to hear this, WS. We do become attached to the other residents, it's like part of a family. X
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
I firmly believe L had the soul of an angel, i truly think that, i dont have money for a sympathy card but will write him a letter, think that will be ok?.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,837
69
Dundee
I'm so sorry to hear that WS. I'm sure a letter would be much appreciated.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
I firmly believe L had the soul of an angel, i truly think that, i dont have money for a sympathy card but will write him a letter, think that will be ok?.
A letter expressing what you've posted about, will be treasured by the family. So few of us receive letters, that this will be much appreciated. xxx
 

Blogg

Registered User
Jul 24, 2014
64
One of the wife's of a resident in my dad's care home wrote a letter when my dad died. It was such a kind gesture at such a sad time, I wouldn't hesitate. I often think of the others that my dad left behind.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Thanks for all your kind words, this has truly affected me deeply. Hopefully at the Nursing Home i will hear when her funeral is as i do want to attend it.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
I hope someone can help me here as iam baffled, i got the date , time and location of L's funeral today, the head nurse gave me it.

Now i have a friend wh used to come with me to visit my mum with me from time to time and of course met L.

And i really hope he will come along.

I txt him the details and i said i hope he can make it and he said he thinks he can and iwht us both being unmployed i said i'd help him with bus fares if need be.
He texts me back says it is going to the funeral a good idea as we have just know her a short time and people there will have known her for decaDes and might think we are after a free meal(*** *** ***!) And that i might start thinking of my mum and get upset!.

Will i get upset at the funeral, of course, it's a funeral but its because l's passing and not my mum if you understand, i ve known L just over a year the amount of time my mum has been in the nursing home.

Ive been to a residents funeral who was only in the home a few months as she was great with me mum too.

I "only" plan on going to the service and then going away as the "going back for a cup of tea "thing is i understand totally for family and close friends and i totally recognise that crystal clearly.

I am totally baffled at my friends response! can anyone please help??.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
It sounds to me WS that your friend doesn't want to go to the funeral, but I hope he will go to support you.

I think it's lovely that you want to go to pay your respects to L and I'm sure her family will very much appreciate it.

When it was my husband's funeral, I was so pleased that each and every person had made the effort to come to support me and to say their goodbyes to Roger. It never once occurred to me that anyone was only there for the food!

I don't think its important how long you have known L, but that you enjoyed her company, she was kind to your mum and that you want to say your goodbyes to her. Crying at a funeral is fine in my book.

I hope it goes well WS.
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,761
South coast of England
WS, I am sorry for your grief, this lady obviously meant a lot to you. I think you will be very welcome at the funeral, please don't worry about that. It does sound as if your friend is looking for an excuse to not go - unless he has had a bad experience like this in the past. I do hope he will support you though, that is what friendship is all about.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
WS, I am sorry for your grief, this lady obviously meant a lot to you. I think you will be very welcome at the funeral, please don't worry about that. It does sound as if your friend is looking for an excuse to not go - unless he has had a bad experience like this in the past. I do hope he will support you though, that is what friendship is all about.
That's the Impression i got too but he has been to one before with me....

A friend who i asked to call him as i'm out of txts relayed my message and i got told he will be going as i did say i'm "only" going to the service.
 

Slugsta

Registered User
Aug 25, 2015
2,761
South coast of England
Maybe your friend would have felt awkward if you had gone back afterwards, as if you and he were 'gatecrashing' somehow. I'm glad he will accompany you to the service.