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R.i.p "l"

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
That is so kind of her to think of you. I have generally found that people visiting care homes are very caring for each other.

I still have contact with both staff and relatives, even though I haven't been to the care home for 6 months now.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
My Friend and I attended L's funeral on monday and was a very nice service and i'm not ashamed to admit i shed a few tears .

My Friend and i sat in one of the back rows as only thought that was "right" and after the service as you know with funerals you speak to the relative on your way out and when it came to me as L's husband was sitting on a chair as he has a problem with one of his hip or something(has a walking stick) and i shook his hand and we hugged and we cried and i said "I am so so sorry" and he said it was such a shock, he thanked me for coming and said he would give me a call.

I'm emotional typing that.
 
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worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
It was the right and moral thing to do and obv i'm not going to be expecting a call from him for obvious reasons, he is always welcome to call of course but you see what i mean?.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
And also for obvious reasons imo anyway xmas cards wouldnt be getting sent to L's husband this year (Happy Xmas? i dont think so).

I was thinking of in dec sending him a "Thinking of you" card with a little message showing support, what do people think of that idea?
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
I think that is a lovely idea, and very thoughtful. Or a simple Christmas card wishing a peaceful Christmas is also appropriate.

Jan x
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Thanks for your responses, i defo will send a thinking of you card now,had also discussed it with my friend when we were in wetherspoons pub after we had left the funeral, as we didnt go "back for tea" as didnt think it was appropiate in our eyes anyway.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Was rather drunk to say the least in wetherspoons, i would not be surprrised if L had said "you tool":D:D:p:D
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Thanks for your responses, i defo will send a thinking of you card now,had also discussed it with my friend when we were in wetherspoons pub after we had left the funeral, as we didnt go "back for tea" as didnt think it was appropiate in our eyes anyway.
You did the right thing in attending the funeral, and I think a Christmas Card would be a lovely gesture. You can choose one that is blank inside if you prefer. This will be my first Christmas on my own, and I certainly hope people will remember me. :)
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
You did the right thing in attending the funeral, and I think a Christmas Card would be a lovely gesture. You can choose one that is blank inside if you prefer. This will be my first Christmas on my own, and I certainly hope people will remember me. :)
Sorry to hear this will be your first xmas on your own, i just feel conscience wise and morally to send a "Thinking of you" card will be more appropiate than a xmas one but that is just me.
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
WS, what a lovely, thoughtful person you are! :)

(((Scarlett))) I'm told the first one is the hardest.
I'm not perfect and have so many faults and done so many stupid stupid things in my life that would fill a few football stadiums and im still feeling the effects of my drinking session in wetherspoons on monday after my friend and i left the funeral.:eek::eek::D
 

Jinx

Registered User
Mar 13, 2014
2,333
Pontypool
I'm sure in whatever way you choose, the important thing is that the person left behind receives the comfort of knowing people still care with a thoughtful message, perhaps not only at Christmas. x


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
I'm sure in whatever way you choose, the important thing is that the person left behind receives the comfort of knowing people still care with a thoughtful message, perhaps not only at Christmas. x


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
L's husband is such a lovely dignified man:).
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
HELP!!!! in the last day and a haf had severe paranoid thoughts about L's funeral, please let me explain.

Yesterday, i got a phone call from my mum's nursing home which was great as you know at the mo my landline does not work(waiting on the enginner as we speak) and my mobile has no credit so one of the head nurses in my mums unit called about a perosnal thing regarding my mum(NOTHING serious at all) so in the midst of that i asked how my mum was having not been down for a week due to various factors i have posted about on the forum and i also i had been really depressed about L's passing and im sure i mentioned the funeral and the nurse said "did you go?"(see, about a week before i had said to the same nurse i was going and showed her the newspaper cutting) and i said yes and that the service was nice and my heart went out to L's husband and also mentioned about seeing another head nurse there.

Now i'm think about the "did you go?" remark... what IF she was saying that and i've not been meant to go to the funeral , maybe l's husband had said something to the staff he rather i didnt go or something.

Please HELP.
 

cragmaid

Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
7,941
North East England
STOP IT!!! Yes, big shouty capital letters:rolleyes: You have not done the wrong thing, she was asking if you went, because she obviously had not been to the funeral.:D#

I think that you have mixed up all your feelings in your mind, your fears about Mam, your sadness about L, your panic about how you are managing your life, your money etc., and are in danger of drowning. I wonder if you could ask your GP if you could have some counselling, to help you to put your mind straight and to help you calm down a bit.

You did a great job of looking after Mam at home, until her health made her go into a Care Home. .... now do the same great job of looking after yourself too.:D