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R.i.p "l"

Mrsbusy

Registered User
Aug 15, 2015
355
Please don't overthink the 'did you go remark?' She may have been told that someone went from the home and how pleased the family were about that, but I would assume she just replied to you as you spoke about it, and she probably thought how nice it was of you to go. You have done nothing wrong by going at all, in fact the opposite and your Mum would be proud that she brought you up with such consideration and empathy for others, a rare thing it seems nowadays.

Good for you having a letting your hair down session in Wetherspoons. It dd you good in some ways.

Enjoy your day.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Please just take it as a passing remark, and with absolutely no other thoughts. You did the right thing, and displayed a very kind and thoughtful nature. I would think that many bereaved people fear an empty church or chapel for their loved ones - I know I did.

I have never seen those dog-walking chums of John again, and don't expect to, but I was so touched that they came.
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,353
68
I can only agree with Scarlett. I hoped that people would come to say good bye to Roger, and thankfully they did. I dreaded the thought of just a few of us, because that always looks so sad; someone passed away and no one cared.

I was so pleased to see each and every person who came, because they had put themselves out to come. Just like you did with L. I don't think anyone thinks "I hope he/she doesn't come", it's a time for togetherness.

Well done WS for doing the right things, your mum would be proud. xx
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
STOP IT!!! Yes, big shouty capital letters:rolleyes: You have not done the wrong thing, she was asking if you went, because she obviously had not been to the funeral.:D#

I think that you have mixed up all your feelings in your mind, your fears about Mam, your sadness about L, your panic about how you are managing your life, your money etc., and are in danger of drowning. I wonder if you could ask your GP if you could have some counselling, to help you to put your mind straight and to help you calm down a bit.

You did a great job of looking after Mam at home, until her health made her go into a Care Home. .... now do the same great job of looking after yourself too.:D
Thank you so much:).
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Please don't overthink the 'did you go remark?' She may have been told that someone went from the home and how pleased the family were about that, but I would assume she just replied to you as you spoke about it, and she probably thought how nice it was of you to go. You have done nothing wrong by going at all, in fact the opposite and your Mum would be proud that she brought you up with such consideration and empathy for others, a rare thing it seems nowadays.

Good for you having a letting your hair down session in Wetherspoons. It dd you good in some ways.

Enjoy your day.
Thanks, I'm feeling Better:).
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Thank you all for your very kind and rational words, i think a lot of this stemmed from the last time L'S husband visited her they were sitting in the lounge and i was also with my mum and we said a couple of plesenteries bakc and forth and when her Husband was leaving i helped him up when he was trying to get up from the couch and i whispered some nice words about him and L in his ear and i was thinking that was the last time he saw her and of course he did say cheerio to her and waved to her also.

Kinda like me taking up his time as he was leaving sorta thing.
 

Allypally52

Registered User
Mar 11, 2014
78
Worriedson, I know that feeling of suddenly worrying about something done or said, long since past. In fact I had a reputation for apologising to people in case I'd upset or offended them but I can honestly say that usually they didn't have a clue what I was talking about!!!! With me it was a symptom of being a bit depressed and a course of medication certainly helped me (although I think I'll always be a bit inclined to be super sensitive and hard on myself)
Something that helped me was when a friend who's a church pastor quoted a verse from the bible to me when I was having an episode of beating myself up about something, which basically says that there's no law against love! Now when I get that 'oh heck, hope they weren't offended, upset etc etc over what I said, did etc etc' I tell myself that my motivation was love and there's no law against being loving! It helps me a lot. Perhaps it can help you too. You seem to be someone with a huge capacity for being loving!
Take care
Alison x
 

worriedson1

Registered User
Jan 30, 2012
1,837
Worriedson, I know that feeling of suddenly worrying about something done or said, long since past. In fact I had a reputation for apologising to people in case I'd upset or offended them but I can honestly say that usually they didn't have a clue what I was talking about!!!! With me it was a symptom of being a bit depressed and a course of medication certainly helped me (although I think I'll always be a bit inclined to be super sensitive and hard on myself)
Something that helped me was when a friend who's a church pastor quoted a verse from the bible to me when I was having an episode of beating myself up about something, which basically says that there's no law against love! Now when I get that 'oh heck, hope they weren't offended, upset etc etc over what I said, did etc etc' I tell myself that my motivation was love and there's no law against being loving! It helps me a lot. Perhaps it can help you too. You seem to be someone with a huge capacity for being loving!
Take care
Alison x
Iam also very Spiritual google "Neale Donald Walsch".