1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    356
    Please don't overthink the 'did you go remark?' She may have been told that someone went from the home and how pleased the family were about that, but I would assume she just replied to you as you spoke about it, and she probably thought how nice it was of you to go. You have done nothing wrong by going at all, in fact the opposite and your Mum would be proud that she brought you up with such consideration and empathy for others, a rare thing it seems nowadays.

    Good for you having a letting your hair down session in Wetherspoons. It dd you good in some ways.

    Enjoy your day.
     
  2. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Please just take it as a passing remark, and with absolutely no other thoughts. You did the right thing, and displayed a very kind and thoughtful nature. I would think that many bereaved people fear an empty church or chapel for their loved ones - I know I did.

    I have never seen those dog-walking chums of John again, and don't expect to, but I was so touched that they came.
     
  3. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    I can only agree with Scarlett. I hoped that people would come to say good bye to Roger, and thankfully they did. I dreaded the thought of just a few of us, because that always looks so sad; someone passed away and no one cared.

    I was so pleased to see each and every person who came, because they had put themselves out to come. Just like you did with L. I don't think anyone thinks "I hope he/she doesn't come", it's a time for togetherness.

    Well done WS for doing the right things, your mum would be proud. xx
     
  4. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    #64 worriedson1, Oct 31, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2015
    .....
     
  5. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    That's how my irrational mind went.
     
  6. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    Thank you so much:).
     
  7. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    Thanks, I'm feeling Better:).
     
  8. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    Thank you all for your very kind and rational words, i think a lot of this stemmed from the last time L'S husband visited her they were sitting in the lounge and i was also with my mum and we said a couple of plesenteries bakc and forth and when her Husband was leaving i helped him up when he was trying to get up from the couch and i whispered some nice words about him and L in his ear and i was thinking that was the last time he saw her and of course he did say cheerio to her and waved to her also.

    Kinda like me taking up his time as he was leaving sorta thing.
     
  9. Allypally52

    Allypally52 Registered User

    Mar 11, 2014
    78
    Worriedson, I know that feeling of suddenly worrying about something done or said, long since past. In fact I had a reputation for apologising to people in case I'd upset or offended them but I can honestly say that usually they didn't have a clue what I was talking about!!!! With me it was a symptom of being a bit depressed and a course of medication certainly helped me (although I think I'll always be a bit inclined to be super sensitive and hard on myself)
    Something that helped me was when a friend who's a church pastor quoted a verse from the bible to me when I was having an episode of beating myself up about something, which basically says that there's no law against love! Now when I get that 'oh heck, hope they weren't offended, upset etc etc over what I said, did etc etc' I tell myself that my motivation was love and there's no law against being loving! It helps me a lot. Perhaps it can help you too. You seem to be someone with a huge capacity for being loving!
    Take care
    Alison x
     
  10. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    You make very good points! Thanks:).
     
  11. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    Iam also very Spiritual google "Neale Donald Walsch".
     
  12. Allypally52

    Allypally52 Registered User

    Mar 11, 2014
    78
    I know his books - a friend lent me one a while ago. Very wise!!
     
  13. worriedson1

    worriedson1 Registered User

    Jan 30, 2012
    1,837
    Great Stuff!.
     

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