Poor Piedsmum is poorly again.

[Skye]

Pied, John's breath slowed right down just before the end, with long pauses between each. I was holding him, and willing the next breath to come ... until it didn't.

It's hard for you and your sister, and you must be exhausted. But your mum is at peace, and knows you both love her. That's all she needs just now.

Love, hugs and prayers,

 

[fredsnail]

Morning Pied, it is remarkable how strong the will to live can be in many of our vulnerable family members. I hope that you and your sister have the strength you need for the coming time and that Mum remains peaceful.

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Pied, with you all in spirit and heart. Glad you are receiving comfort and support, I hope it's enough to carry you through. I know the dementia road can be rugged but so heartened that the final leg is gentle and peaceful.

Your mum is remarkable, I wonder whether she is holding on until the moment she knows you girls are able to release her?

Stay strong,
Stephanie, xxx

 

[grove]

That 's ok Pied glad you feel *HUGGED * & you are right T P is a special place & that is what T P here for Pied to *talk * to other 's who know You & your Sis are both very special daughter 's & your Mum is special also


Will come back later Pied


Much Love & thinking of you all


Love & Hugs Love Grove x x x x x

 

[starryuk]

Stephanie, I have been thinking this too.

 

[jan.s]

Dear Pied, there is not a lot to add that hasn't already been said. Wishing you strength today. Love and hugs Jan x

 

[LYN T]

Hi Pied and family

I'm going to join the hugging queue for you and your Sis.

Your Mum is very special; it's no wonder that she has raised such wonderful Daughters.

Peace be with you all

Love from Lyn T

 

[angecmc]

I havent been on this sight for long, but just want to add my best wishes to you and your family and hope your mum continues on this peaceful journey, the numberous posts of support and love from other members show what a special extended family this forum is, take good care of yourself and your sister love Ange xx

 

[Pennie]

I've been thinking of you so much too Pied. I have only been here for a couple of days and your posts and troubles have really made a real impact on me. Lots and lots of thoughts go out to you and your family xxx

I have a belief, and not sure where it has come from, maybe I've read it somewhere, that sometimes people almost need permission to give up on this journey and move on...

Wishing you all the strength you need at this very difficult time and somehow I hope you can get some rest somewhere in the day.

 

[piedwarbler]

Believe me I've thought that too. But we have said it every which way we can. I've said :-
I want you to rest
If you get a better offer, take it and don't wait for us
We love you and we know you love us
If pop comes for you, hold his hand
How we will cope without you, we can't imagine, but we will live up to your example
If you are ready to rest then please don't stay for our sakes, we will be fine
In the end I said
You will decide when you're ready to go, you've always been awkward.
I don't know whether I've overdone it or not been clear enough.
I don't want to scare her x
X

 

[piedwarbler]

If anyone wants to suggest something releasing to say, I'm all ears!
By the way I've said all these things over the last week NOT all in one go x

 

[Helen33]

Good morning Pied,

Wishing you peace and strength as you walk into what the day has in store for you. I do hope there are some nice things dotted here and there throughout the day to encourage you.

Love

 

[lilysmybabypup]

Believe me I've thought that too. But we have said it every which way we can. I've said :-
I want you to rest
If you get a better offer, take it and don't wait for us
We love you and we know you love us
If pop comes for you, hold his hand
How we will cope without you, we can't imagine, but we will live up to your example
If you are ready to rest then please don't stay for our sakes, we will be fine
In the end I said
You will decide when you're ready to go, you've always been awkward.
I don't know whether I've overdone it or not been clear enough.
I don't want to scare her x
X

I think reassuring her that you are both going to be alright and will support each other, and, while you will miss her, it's ok to go. I think as mums, all we want to know is that our babies are ok.

I'm so moved every time I read all the beautiful and comforting words here. I agree, this becomes so much more than a forum, otherwise, how can I be shedding tears for a family I've never met?

Peace and strength. xxx

 

[geum123]

Hope your Mum has a peaceful day today Pied.
Hugs to you.
xxxxx

 

[starryuk]

Pied,

Releasing words...don't know.

Teepa Snow, dementia expert, talking about end of life, says she thinks parents don't like to 'walk away' and leave their children.

Almost like clinging children going to school. How much easier it is for a parent to turn and walk away when they see the children run off happily to their friends rather than when they hang on to the parent.

Not in any way saying you are a clinging child, but as mothers ourselves, I guess our daughters are still our children no matter what age they are and we never stop feeling protective. Your mum may be feeling protective of you.

My dad took his last breath when I nipped out for 10 minutes for milk.

Ps. Your mum seems so peaceful. I don't think she is scared, nor that she could be by what you say.x

 

[piedwarbler]

Mum has been looking from Sis to me and trying to speak. We went to get J the nurse. She looked at Mum and Mum really looked at her. She says Mums in no pain and to give her morphine would be cruel. Then she said maybe Mum is waiting for Doctor K. Mum gave her another look!

 

[kingmidas1962]

I don't think she can be scared - her anxiety would manifest itself somehow. It sounds like what happened with my fil when he went - he'd kind of mentally 'packed his bags' and was just waiting peacefully.

Who better for your mum to have with her than her lovely daughters?

You're doing amazingly well xxxx

 

[nicoise]

Dear Pied,

And so dawns a new day....

You are so right, this is a very special time. It is a time we dread, and wonder how we will cope - how on earth do we know what this will be like, how we will cope with this? And yet we do instinctively cope, that natural instinct to take care just takes over, and you take those next steps into the unknown.

You have been there for your mum so much through all her challenges, just taking care, watching over her. This is just a continuation of that care and watchfulness, a step towards the completion of the journey.

The worst of times, and yet the best of times, surreal, but so real. I think we put our feelings on hold - there will be time later for those, and focus on what is happening right now, in order to cope.

More strength coming your way, in a room crowded with virtual TP support and thoughts for the Family Pied

Xxx

 

[piedwarbler]

Thanks Lily, I have said your exact wording to mum last night.
I am grateful, though, that you posted. Thank you.
I have thought about mum not wanting to leave us but when every time I've visited over the last three years virtually, she's begged me not to leave her, then I can't help thinking she feels safe when I'm around. I have been out to my car this morning and my daughter came with Hubby and hugged me hard but wouldn't come in. So mum has had chances when both of us are absent to take her leave.
One thing is that very few people with MS live into their 80s. I think Mum is determined not to let dementia and MS see her off til she's good and ready. As a young mum she knew she had MS and probably worried about leaving us girls with our dad just like I worried when I got cancer in 2010. Which, incidentally, I've never told Mum about.

 

[grove]

Lovely Words

Hello dear Pied , Just read your little letter ? ( notes ) to your lovely Mum & I think what you said are lovely words & just right


Wishing you strength , Peace & Comfort today dear Pied


Thinking of you all


Love & BIG HUGS Love Grove x x x