Ah, that's lovely, thanks Celia. I always sang "By the barren gate"!!
I always wondered why a gate could be barren!!
I always wondered why a gate could be barren!!
Poor Piedsmum is poorly again.
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Gosh PIED
Hello Pied , Gosh sounds like another 1 of your *signs * as you said so weird & how nice of Celia to write out the words for you ( & for the Song to be on T P also )
Hope you are feeling less tired & you sleep a bit better tonight
Love Grove x x x
Hello Pied , Gosh sounds like another 1 of your *signs * as you said so weird & how nice of Celia to write out the words for you ( & for the Song to be on T P also )
Hope you are feeling less tired & you sleep a bit better tonight
Love Grove x x x
Bless you Pied
We had 2 services for my mum one in Suffolk where she died and one in Southend as that was where she had spent most of her life I was only 24 (my Mum died at 51)
the things I remember most is my Dad shouting at me!
At my dad's I did the talk and brought the house down by saying"what a cantankerous old fart he was!" I had told him that I would say it at his funeral and he had said "Cantankkerous, cantankerous, me, whatever do you mean?"
I did say some other things too, like "how the funeral was just like one of his dinner parties, we had no idea how many people were coming, but I was sure he would have wanted me to thank you all for coming!!" (there were hundreds of people)
his dinner parties were legendry he could never remember how many people he'd invited, or who for that matter!It could be an old friend or friends or someone he'd met in a shop and got chatting too
My sister hadnt wanted me to speak as she thought I'd fail and beat myself up
I knew I could do it!!!
and I did!
I hope that you will find it a time of blessing as people remember your lovely courageous Mum and although it is a sad occassion that you will hear some new stories that will delight and strengthen your heart
Supporting you Sis
Sarah
We had 2 services for my mum one in Suffolk where she died and one in Southend as that was where she had spent most of her life I was only 24 (my Mum died at 51)
the things I remember most is my Dad shouting at me!
At my dad's I did the talk and brought the house down by saying"what a cantankerous old fart he was!" I had told him that I would say it at his funeral and he had said "Cantankkerous, cantankerous, me, whatever do you mean?"
I did say some other things too, like "how the funeral was just like one of his dinner parties, we had no idea how many people were coming, but I was sure he would have wanted me to thank you all for coming!!" (there were hundreds of people)
his dinner parties were legendry he could never remember how many people he'd invited, or who for that matter!It could be an old friend or friends or someone he'd met in a shop and got chatting too
My sister hadnt wanted me to speak as she thought I'd fail and beat myself up
I knew I could do it!!!
and I did!
I hope that you will find it a time of blessing as people remember your lovely courageous Mum and although it is a sad occassion that you will hear some new stories that will delight and strengthen your heart
Supporting you Sis
Sarah
Oh Sarah - that so made me smile - thank you. Could have said that and more at my Dads funeral but it was a very speedy affair as don't think anyone had much to say about him (or that could be said in church!) How brave of you.
But its so true that when someone dies, suddenly you hear all manner of things and people sharing stories. Often too, people will say how they wish they had told them how much it meant when x happened or they said y...
So a little plea to all, not only make sure you tell people you love them but also share with them how much things mean and what you feel about them being in your life. Do it today before it's too late xx
I loved the song Lili Marlene when I was a teenager and knew all the words.
It still had meaning after the war - for all of us girls left behind when our boyfriends were sent to Germany to do their National Service.
It still had meaning after the war - for all of us girls left behind when our boyfriends were sent to Germany to do their National Service.
Lovely story of a chapter in your life Sarah.
Lili Marlene is a lovely song, reminds me of my Dad,
doing his Marlene Dietrich voice and accent and trying to make his eyes half shut like hers.
I used to hoot laughing at him.
It's a haunting love song, my Dad made it forever funny for me.
Lili Marlene is a lovely song, reminds me of my Dad,
doing his Marlene Dietrich voice and accent and trying to make his eyes half shut like hers.
I used to hoot laughing at him.
It's a haunting love song, my Dad made it forever funny for me.
What absolutely lovely affectionate stories this thread is prompting. Sarah, I loved your stories about your dad but why did he shout at you at your mum's funeral?
Gwen I giggled at the thought of yours doing a Marlene.
Gwen I giggled at the thought of yours doing a Marlene.
I was thinking more this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPUMAFhfRHk
but with a beer belly and a deeper voice (is that possible?).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPUMAFhfRHk
but with a beer belly and a deeper voice (is that possible?).
I felt that he was afraid to show his grief by crying and one of my mum's friends got lost on the way to the first service in Suffolk I stayed with her a little while at the church (we lived next door in what had been the rectory) after everyone had gone from the church and you could hear my Dad shouting from the house because I wasnt where he wanted me to be, when he wanted me.
Very sad really, the wholething was a disaster in fact my dad turned to me at one point and said " if your mother was here now she'd say what a load of cod's wallop"
the comforting thing for me was as we said Psalm 23 a bright shaft of light fell on me and I found it very comforting.
At the second service at the crem people argued over who was going to sit where, with my grandfather (Dad's Dad say no more!!) shouting loudly "I'm blind you know!"
Everyone had someone to sit with except me (my dad sat with the nurse
) but my Godmother said I looked the most serene and it was obvious to her I wasn't alone in my aloneness.There was then an argument over the reading of the will and my uncle didnt want me to go in and hear it. (I went in anyway!) A jolly time was had by all NOT
I learnt over the years to love my Dad and we had a good relationship when he died.
Dear Pied,
The picture of your mum's hand holding yours is one of the most moving images I've ever seen. If that was mine, I would see how it looked in black & white or sepia too and, without a doubt, have it on my wall. It's the most simple image of love, and a beautiful picture that will give you strength everyday as you pass it.
Back in one of my old threads, I remember talking about missing the touch of my mum & dad's hands. It was the strongest sense of loss I felt after they had gone. The touch of skin on skin is felt most commonly, during a lifetime, through hands.
One of my most vivid memories of when dad had his stroke, was his hand reaching out to me as I ran into A&E to find him. His face had changed, and he looked so small, he couldn't speak but his hand remained the same. Strong, forceful and communicating to me. Throughout the last few days of his life, I held his hand, and I hadn't done that since I was a little girl. Then, the day he died, when I had been stuck in traffic, desperate to get to his bedside, I finally reached him but he had passed away 20 minutes earlier. Instinctively, the first thing I did was reach for his hand, lying motionless on the bed. I squeezed it and stroked it and tried to store up that sensation of my hand in his big powerful one.
I have my mum's hands, and I wear her wedding ring on my right ring finger. It brings me great comfort on some days and hurts me on others. I sometimes position my hand to make it look like mum's and I feel moved by it.
The picture you took means so much, and I believe it will be one of the most important pictures of you and your mum that you have ever taken in your lifetimes together.
Pied, I will be thinking of you on Sunday, and will be there to soften your fall in the days and weeks to follow. Life is never the same when you've lost your mum, no matter what the circumstances. The emotions you may go through can come from nowhere, with no stimulus and no warning. The times you see her double in the supermarket, the song that comes on the radio, or just the random, unwanted sensation of huge loss and emptiness that rushes through you when you're just sitting doing nothing.
Here, you can pour your heart out and so many of us will know why. And we will hold you up, xxxxx
The picture of your mum's hand holding yours is one of the most moving images I've ever seen. If that was mine, I would see how it looked in black & white or sepia too and, without a doubt, have it on my wall. It's the most simple image of love, and a beautiful picture that will give you strength everyday as you pass it.
Back in one of my old threads, I remember talking about missing the touch of my mum & dad's hands. It was the strongest sense of loss I felt after they had gone. The touch of skin on skin is felt most commonly, during a lifetime, through hands.
One of my most vivid memories of when dad had his stroke, was his hand reaching out to me as I ran into A&E to find him. His face had changed, and he looked so small, he couldn't speak but his hand remained the same. Strong, forceful and communicating to me. Throughout the last few days of his life, I held his hand, and I hadn't done that since I was a little girl. Then, the day he died, when I had been stuck in traffic, desperate to get to his bedside, I finally reached him but he had passed away 20 minutes earlier. Instinctively, the first thing I did was reach for his hand, lying motionless on the bed. I squeezed it and stroked it and tried to store up that sensation of my hand in his big powerful one.
I have my mum's hands, and I wear her wedding ring on my right ring finger. It brings me great comfort on some days and hurts me on others. I sometimes position my hand to make it look like mum's and I feel moved by it.
The picture you took means so much, and I believe it will be one of the most important pictures of you and your mum that you have ever taken in your lifetimes together.
Pied, I will be thinking of you on Sunday, and will be there to soften your fall in the days and weeks to follow. Life is never the same when you've lost your mum, no matter what the circumstances. The emotions you may go through can come from nowhere, with no stimulus and no warning. The times you see her double in the supermarket, the song that comes on the radio, or just the random, unwanted sensation of huge loss and emptiness that rushes through you when you're just sitting doing nothing.
Here, you can pour your heart out and so many of us will know why. And we will hold you up, xxxxx
Thank you so much to Annie and Sarah for these posts. Annie your post was waiting for me at the end of my first day back at work and you can't imagine what balm it was to my sore mind!
I think this might be a good place to close this thread now and move to the dealing with loss forum, where I have posted tonight.
But I can't leave this thread without huge emotion and a heartfelt and very deep thank you to each and every person who held me in their thoughts and prayers and wishes while Mum was on the final part of her dementia journey. You were a part of this story. You changed my life. You were there at Mum's funeral.
I will fight for better end of life care and for more open discussion of death once I get my equilibrium back. But this thread may see the light of day again, if I can use bits of it to argue for better treatment, then I will.
Thank you xxxx
I think this might be a good place to close this thread now and move to the dealing with loss forum, where I have posted tonight.
But I can't leave this thread without huge emotion and a heartfelt and very deep thank you to each and every person who held me in their thoughts and prayers and wishes while Mum was on the final part of her dementia journey. You were a part of this story. You changed my life. You were there at Mum's funeral.
I will fight for better end of life care and for more open discussion of death once I get my equilibrium back. But this thread may see the light of day again, if I can use bits of it to argue for better treatment, then I will.
Thank you xxxx
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