Poor Piedsmum is poorly again.

[piedwarbler]

And again. Just woke. Mum breathing steadily at 34 breaths a minute. There's the occasional short gap of a second or two but nothing marked.

I spoke to her and stroked her arms am hour or so ago and I'm sure she knew but I can't say how as she is very unresponsive. Even when we spray the artificial saliva, she doesn't respond at all.

 

[piedwarbler]

The girls have just been in with the nurse and so expertly and deftly changed Mum's pad with the minimum disturbance in about 15 seconds. Nurse said very softly, "Well done, Piedsmum, both your girls are here, they are just having a sleep," and they have crept out, treading on my actual mattress really carefully ( there's no room to do otherwise and I offered to move but they said not to) .
I do hope this diary might help someone who is scared of what might come. I know I was terrified. So far there has been nothing scary at all. The only stress is listening for the next breath.
I'm trepidatious of what is still to come and how long it'll take. Hoping it will be manageable and I will cope.
Thanks everyone for the thoughts and hugs. Much needed. X

 

[piedwarbler]

Wondering if Mum will let go in the morning. My grandad died at around 5.30 am.

 

[jenniferpa]

I don't know pied - I think early morning is quite common. Whenever it happens, you're there with her, and we are with you.

Hugs to you all.


Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point mobile app

 

[piedwarbler]

We are still totally drug free and the only treatment is mouth care and the airflow mattress. Mum's had no meds for 24 hours. It is remarkable how peaceful she is. So far, so good. Not counting any chickens.

 

[piedwarbler]

I don't know pied - I think early morning is quite common. Whenever it happens, you're there with her, and we are with you.

Hugs to you all.


Sent from my iPod touch using Talking Point mobile app

Thanks Jen. I thought so too. Isn't the body at a natural low in the early hours? X

 

[sue38]

I think you're right that the body does reach a low point in the early hours. I remember sitting with my dad in his final days and the hardest time was just before it got light.

Sending love to you, sis and mum x.

 

[piedwarbler]

Oh I forgot the fentanyl patch. Mum has that for pain relief. She's had that for 18 months x

 

[Big Effort]

Just checking in to see how you are doing.....

Wondering if Mum will let go in the morning. My grandad died at around 5.30 am.

Hence the expression, the darkest hour is the one before dawn. Body at a natural ebb, all systems quiet.

It is useful for others, Pied, this sharing. We all have it ahead of us, and this is such a gentle letting go of life and loved ones.

Hope you are getting some sleep, some rest. Thoughts with you and your Mum. I have a busy day ahead so will check in again tonight. xx BE

 

[Izzy]

Thinking of you all this morning. My own mum passed away in the early hours - almost 2 years ago now but I remember it clearly. It seemed surreal. I hope your lovely mum finds peace soon. Wishing you and your sister much strength. xx

 

[jeany123]

Thinking of you today,


Jeany xx

 

[piedwarbler]

Mum looked at me and tried to smile. I said "You want to tell us you're all right?" And she looked at me again. I said "That's ok, we know, and we are here, to look after you." And then she looked at my sister.
We talked about her garden at her parents' house and feeding the birds. They had a lovely brick bird bath. We talked about that.
Mum tried to smile again at 6.30. I put a drop of tea on my little finger and popped it in her mouth.
I've opened the curtains. The sun is shining and the birds are singing.
I can hear the nurse down the landing saying you don't have to get up yet if you don't want to. It's early.
She brought us a big pile of toast and a pot of tea. I can't eat much but I've pushed some down.
X

 

[CeliaW]

Thinking of you all and sending gentle supportive hugs

Celia

 

[SisterAct]

Thinking of you and your sister Pied and wishing your Mum a peaceful journey.
Luv
Polly x

 

[grove]

Much Love & Peace

Morning Pied , Am glad for you all that your Mum has had a peaceful night & that the lovely Night Duty Nurse was there for you all last night

Much Love , Peace & Hugs to you all Pied


Special Vibes for another Peaceful day & am thinking of you & your dear Mum


Love Grove x x x x

 

[piedwarbler]

Thank you all so much. I came to the home thinking I would post when it was over but after twenty odd hours she is still fighting for every breath. My sis is dozing in the chair. I think she had a better night than me. She didnt recall the carers coming in. X

 

[starryuk]

Pied,

Like so many others, I am following your posts and waiting, with hearfelt sympathy and much admiration, for the peaceful end and some rest for you all. We are all here with love and support for you and your family.


'I do hope this diary might help someone who is scared of what might come. I know I was terrified'.

Absolutely. For me, what is coming through in your writing is the love, the raw conflicting emotions and the exhaustion. I can see your shock lessening and acceptance creeping in. It is so honest, so vivid. Thank you.

When my dad was at the end of his life, we were caring for him at home. It was my first close experience of death. I needed to know what to expect. No one would tell me. They were all very vague and almost embarassed.

I would go so far as to say, in time, if you wanted / felt able, you could publish your diary in some way. I see it as an invaluable resource for professionals (Counsellors, Doctors, Macmillans) to recommend to relatives or even selling in a bookshop. We need to be more open about death I think.

What a wonderful gift for your mother to leave us.

Thinking of you all x x

 

[grove]

T p is a family

Hello Pied , The way I see how T P work's at is best when it *Acts * like a family Pied & that is why so many T P 'ers have posted on this Thread Pied We just want to send our Love & thoughts to you Pied because we care Sorry am not sure why posting this but I am ( guess its because you posted thank you Pied )

Am glad you & your Sister are there for each other it must be a big comfort

Love & Hugs Love Grove x x x x

 

[piedwarbler]

The nurse who went off yesterday at tea time has just come back on and was gobsmacked to see Sis downstairs. I think she thought Mum would've slipped away overnight x

 

[piedwarbler]

Ah thanks Starry and Grove. I feel really hugged. It's like Annie said, I came in thinking - how can I post at such a time as this? But after the first few hours you crave contact with people who know.
It is a special, special and precious time x