Please..if there is a god out there..

[gigi]

Crumbs..where do I start..

The CPN was asked to visit by the SW..who did Eric's review and my carer's assessment last Friday.
She came to reinforce the fact that mentally Eric still has "capacity" and would therefore have to agree to permanent care. She has seen Eric very regularly since diagnosis and has seen a "slow deterioration" mentally.

I think she spoke out of turn about funding as it's not her brief. It doesn't really matter what she says regarding that issue.

I was indignant when she suggested antidepressants. I know I'm not depressed. Tired, yes, stressed, yes, frustrated, yes. And I let her know this.

We do have regular sitters for 12 hours a week.
We do have carers for Eric's personal care morning and night 7 days a week.
We are not totally without support.

It's just that it's the wrong sort of support for me...and often creates more problems as Eric complains about it and questions the need for it..so it adds to my stress.

xx

 

[Skye]

What did the GP say, gigi?

 

[ChristineR62]

Dear Gigi

Words fail me. What an appalling way to treat a dedicated carer who is clearly at breaking point. That CPN needs a swift kick where the sun don't shine! Although I met Mum's CPN once and spoke to him a few times, it was the contact with the SW that got things moving in Mum's case - although I have to say, her CPN has also been brilliant.

I wish I could wave a magic wand for you, but all I can do is send you a big virtual hug. I wish I could come up with a brilliant suggestion to get you through this.

Sending you much love and big hugs
Christine
xxx

 

[gigi]

GP has just left..

By the time the GP arrived Eric had fallen asleep in his chair..

So the GP and I had a long chat in the kitchen over a cup of tea.

He certainly does not think I'm depressed... But he does think I'm tired and stressed and ...wait for it..asked if I'd considered permanent care for Eric..

So he got the whole story and was incredulous. But also very supportive and will help in any way he can...
He actually suggested that I move out and leave Eric to SS...just come back to visit him occasionally as I would if he was in a CH.
For now, however, he's given me a prescription for some Diazepam to relieve the stress symtoms and help me to relax, and wants to see me in his surgery as soon as I can arrange it.

He is concerned about Eric's chest, and his headaches and is going to organise an MRI scan of his head and chest.

And just for the record, although he's been Eric's GP for almost 20 years, Eric didn't recognise him and asked him who he was.

I feel better already...

Love xx

 

[Skye]

Oh, I'm so thrilled for you gigi! At last, someone on your side! No wonder you feel better.

I hope the GP can get things moving for you. How do you feel about moving out? That's a very scary idea.

Hope you get a good night's sleep, though I don't suppose you'll get the diazepam till tomorrow.

Still, at least something positive has come out of the day.

Love,

 

[ChristineR62]

Oh gigi, thank heavens! I'm so glad there's someone on your side at last! It makes all the difference, doesn't it? I don't know for certain, but I think our GP (mine and Mum's) made an awful lot of difference when it came to persuading the powers-that-be that Mum needed residential care, and he's no one's fool. Hopefully your GP will help you too.

I'm so happy for you

Love
Christine
xxx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Gigi,

It's good that Eric was asleep and meant you had proper time with the GP. Thank goodness someone is listening to you. I don't know about the idea of moving out though

It certainly has been a full day for you and I hope that you get some sleep.

Love

 

[Canadian Joanne]

What a wonderful man that GP is! Tell him I think he should be cloned, we could use a lot more like him.

My mother's GP was in a state of denial about my mother being demented. She actually said to me that she didn't like telling her patients they had Alzheimer's because it was a death sentence.

 

[gigi]

Moving out is too scary to contemplate, Hazel..but it's a good ploy and could be used as a threat!

I'm away to get ready for bed and hopefully have some sleep.

How would I have dealt with this without the support from you all?

Sue..if I win £45 million on the Euro lottery you're all coming with me on a 6 month cruise...

Have a peaceful night, everyone.

Love xx

 

[Skye]

Night gigi. Sleep tight.

Love,

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Gigi.

I can "hear" the difference in your writing now with the support of the GP who is seeing things as they are.

Just knowing that there is recognition of what you are going through helps a great deal to relieve the stress and having that support is a godsend.

Thoughts are with you both and hope that you get a decent night's sleep.

Love

Mameeskye

 

[muse]

Hi gigi and everyone else. This thread has been such an excellent example of what this forum is about, the mixture of practical advice and moral support, shared outrage etc. It's helped me a lot too because I was going through the same desperation, but the support network seems to have worked a bit better for me. I used all the advice from you, my carer's support manager, my AS outreach worker. I've never made so many phone calls in 2 days mobilising everybody I could think of !It's such hard work to get the support. As my one and only personal focal point from the start has been to hang on to my job, I'm in the lucky position to self-fund for now and not have to worry about financial issues immediately. I'll fight for every penny that's due to Philip when I get the time, but at least immediate help isn't dependant on finance.

Gigi, I'm so glad you've finally got someone who understands your needs. I wish you bags of strength to fight for your right to have a life.
Big hugs
Kathy

 

[scarletpauline]

Night night Gigi, God bless xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx love Pauline x

 

[connie]

I am so glad that you feel more supported now Gigi.
Take care with the diazepam. When I was prescribed that many years ago, I was so woolly and spaced out, I could not look after myself - let alone anyone else.

He actually suggested that I move out and leave Eric to SS...just come back to visit him occasionally as I would if he was in a CH.

I am still trying to get my head around that statement

 

[Grannie G]

Thank Goodness!
I was beginning to wonder what kind of glasses your professionals were looking through gigi. At least you have a GP who can see how things really are and who listens.
No you won`t walk out on Eric, but perhaps now you won`t need to.
Sleep well xx

 

[Vonny]

What a wonderful GP, Gigi. Everyone should have one like him

Seriously, go easy on the diazapam, I tried it once and I was away with the fairies, but then I can't even take sufofed without getting palpitations.

So glad you have your GP fighting your corner. xxx

 

[milly123]

just catched up with this thread i do feel for you gigi as i've been in same posisoin pills and potoins are fine for a spell but are not the final answer .the people makeing the decisoins have not had to cope with problems 24/7 and cant possibly understand what is involved i do hope help or a salution comes along my husband whent to day centre which helped .thinking of you milly

 

[PollyP.]

Hi Gigi

Just hoping that you are not still here but fast asleep and possibly on that cruise enjoying yourself.

Hope you wake up refreshed in the morning - ready to fight another day.

Love
from Pauline
x

 

[hazytron]

Hi Gigi
Hopefully, you wont read this until morning by which time, with more hope, you will have slept well and be more able to face another day.
Your GP sounds keen to support you, with more and more hope, I hope he is true to his word.
Wishing you a terrifically good sleep.
Love Hazel

 

[Mo_N]

Hopefully you are already asleep Gigi but I just wanted you to know that I'm delighted your awful day ended on a more positive note.Great to know your GP has your best interests at heart as well as Eric's.

Hope your dreams tonight are all happy ones.
Mo
xx