AH YES, of course I could! I will think of other cowboy songs, too. Home home on the range goes down well. Thank you so much! GxxxxHi @kindred - this was supposed to be my quiet, wind down, do something for me day .......... but the gremlins decided against it and I have been 'chasing my tail' since this morning. Boo!
Anyways, I was so entranced with the image of your Rawhide performance, complete with dressing gown cord, I just wondered if you could follow it up with a rendition of 'The Deadwood Stage' from Calamity Jane? I think you could really do something with the 'Whip crack away' bits. Hahahahahahahaha .....
PS - tried to add video for you and it went wonky .... apologies if it doesn't work
XX
Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise
- Thread starter kindred
- Start date
Hi @Jezzer, I do hope your brother's surgery has gone well? And, I hope that you are ok?
I have had time to think over all the anaesthetist said. It was upsetting as she spelt it out and my husband was sitting by my side taking it in, not sure what but enough to know that he was upset. I hate to see him upset. I must admit that this is the first time that I realised that this isn't a game anymore... this is for real, and it isn't going to go away or get any better, it can only get worse, and it sounds like the next surgery/hospital stay could have a substantial impact.
She told us that it isn't simply the anaesthetic that is the problem, it is the drugs that he will need, the hospital stay, being out of his comfort zone, not having me there... the list went on. And I am terrified and thinking .... well, I have no idea what I am thinking. It is all so negative.
I spent the afternoon trying to get his notes that the anaesthetist wants from a private hospital that carried out surgery on him, paid for by the NHS, and that have now been archived. They made me jump through hoops, phoning this number, then that number, then back again. Talk about giving me the runaround. Anyway, it is supposed to be being accessed today.
All of this has had an impact on my husband and he has been so upset this morning. He can't remember his hospital stay in March when he was rushed in with sepsis. For 10 days he was so confused, he had no idea, and still doesn't remember that I visited for 7 hours every day, feeding him and watching over him. All of this is coming together and having an additional negative impact on him.
I am sorry that this post is so depressing. The anaesthetist told me that it was essential that I looked after myself, made sure that the family all knew what was happening, and that we should have LPAs in place. How do you look after yourself when your primary concern is for your husband that you are slowly losing? How can you get family support when they live 4 hours away and have their own lives? And yes, we had the forethought to put LPAs in place for both of us, we are waiting for notification from the Office of the Public Guardian that they are complete which should be any day.
I hope your day Jan is better than mine and that all is well with your brother.
Hopefully I will be a bit more upbeat tomorrow! Love B xx
I have had time to think over all the anaesthetist said. It was upsetting as she spelt it out and my husband was sitting by my side taking it in, not sure what but enough to know that he was upset. I hate to see him upset. I must admit that this is the first time that I realised that this isn't a game anymore... this is for real, and it isn't going to go away or get any better, it can only get worse, and it sounds like the next surgery/hospital stay could have a substantial impact.
She told us that it isn't simply the anaesthetic that is the problem, it is the drugs that he will need, the hospital stay, being out of his comfort zone, not having me there... the list went on. And I am terrified and thinking .... well, I have no idea what I am thinking. It is all so negative.
I spent the afternoon trying to get his notes that the anaesthetist wants from a private hospital that carried out surgery on him, paid for by the NHS, and that have now been archived. They made me jump through hoops, phoning this number, then that number, then back again. Talk about giving me the runaround. Anyway, it is supposed to be being accessed today.
All of this has had an impact on my husband and he has been so upset this morning. He can't remember his hospital stay in March when he was rushed in with sepsis. For 10 days he was so confused, he had no idea, and still doesn't remember that I visited for 7 hours every day, feeding him and watching over him. All of this is coming together and having an additional negative impact on him.
I am sorry that this post is so depressing. The anaesthetist told me that it was essential that I looked after myself, made sure that the family all knew what was happening, and that we should have LPAs in place. How do you look after yourself when your primary concern is for your husband that you are slowly losing? How can you get family support when they live 4 hours away and have their own lives? And yes, we had the forethought to put LPAs in place for both of us, we are waiting for notification from the Office of the Public Guardian that they are complete which should be any day.
I hope your day Jan is better than mine and that all is well with your brother.
Hopefully I will be a bit more upbeat tomorrow! Love B xx
.Hi SadStaffs.....Thinking of you and all you are dealing with, it’s natural your upset you have had a great deal to process and it’s hard. Have you told the children , I think they need to know even though they are far away. They will be able to support you even if just on the phone or emails so that you don’t feel so alone.
Do take care...”Hugs”. A. x
Hi @Starbright
Thank you for your kind words. I have told my son, but you don’t really tell it as it is with your children, do you, especially when you rarely see them face to face.
I think about my Mom. I was always her baby. She said to me one day, I still think of you as 14! I was in my early 40s!! I also remember hearing her say ‘don’t tell Barbara, she doesn’t need to know’! I was so protected by her. She always made me better, regardless. I wish I had been half the mother my Mom was to me.
Needless to say it took me a long time to grow up.
For goodness sake.... I thought I could get pregnant by sleeping in my friends dads pyjamas I was 18 at the time!!!
The anaesthetist told me to remember to put my oxygen mask on before I thought of sorting my husbands out. Good advice, but I don’t have an oxygen mask! Perhaps I should buy one
Take care, and thank you xx
Thank you for your kind words. I have told my son, but you don’t really tell it as it is with your children, do you, especially when you rarely see them face to face.
I think about my Mom. I was always her baby. She said to me one day, I still think of you as 14! I was in my early 40s!! I also remember hearing her say ‘don’t tell Barbara, she doesn’t need to know’! I was so protected by her. She always made me better, regardless. I wish I had been half the mother my Mom was to me.
Needless to say it took me a long time to grow up.
For goodness sake.... I thought I could get pregnant by sleeping in my friends dads pyjamas I was 18 at the time!!!
The anaesthetist told me to remember to put my oxygen mask on before I thought of sorting my husbands out. Good advice, but I don’t have an oxygen mask! Perhaps I should buy one
Take care, and thank you xx
Hi there. My brother is still at the hospital and I'm not sure when I 'll get a call to go and collect him. Thank you for your good wishes though; hopefully all will be OK. Please never apologise about a post. This is the place to offload and you are having a truly awful time - I'm so sorry for both you and your husband. Right now your head must be spinning with it all and being given the runaround from the private hospital won't have helped. I understand you are feeling terrified but I do feel that although you need to know as much as possible, it hasn't done you any good being swamped with such a negative list. Deep breath needed and perhaps a try to put things into perspective. I hope I don't sound patronising - I would hate to do that. I just think you've been bombarded with a whole pile of additional worry on top of what you already have. Who can say for certain how your husband will react to his hospital stay this time? Things may not be so grim. All you - all anyone of us - can do is take each day as it comes. Oh yes, easy to say I know. Much harder to do. I hear what you say about your family but do they understand how poorly your husband is and the effect this is having on you? Perhaps they could arrange to come and support you by discussing some sort of rota and when they can make some time to do so? Meanwhile TP is always here. My situation is different to yours inasmuch it is my mum who is succumbing to this illness but I know there are many TP members whose husbands or wives are ill and they will definitely support you too. It's pointless telling you not to worry but if you can just concentrate on getting through today, that would be much better than thinking too far ahead. You are definitely not alone. Sending you Love and hoping your understandably racing mind will settle a little. Jan xxxx
Thanks so much @Starbright. My brother is still in hospital and I don't know when he'll be "done and dusted" & ready to come home! Take care and your good wishes are so appreciated. Love Jan xx
First of all, my appreciation, love and sympathy to the events you have told us about on here. I am so sorry about the possible difficulties of this operation, and hope you soon hear about beloved brother, Jan.
I know, I know, the ordeals we go through, the ordeals ...
Keith sleepy again and slept his way through two puddings. He is having me on! Well, he isn't really, he is just sleepier now. In the few waking moments, he was doing rhyming lists such as, a tap with a tip, a bee with a tree, a bear with hair, stuff like that. It's quite catchy once you start doing it. Other residents started doing it too, but the main activity today was hot air ballooning with some good drawings being done, and singing. We have also started to have sessions singing ;Thank you very much for .... using lovely mundane things like Thank you very much for Keith's new socks, thank you very much .... we can keep this up for quite a while!
One of the residents who is often a bit cross started shouting HURRAY HURRAY HURRAY so I went over and asked her what it was all about and she said, I'm HOME!! and I said, what's it like and she said, IT'S GLORIOUS.
Thank you guys, I know this is such a tense and difficult time for so many of you, all my heart and love. My sadness is simply that I know Keith is little by very little going away, if you see what I mean. But I have decided that any beloved Keith, any Keith, is better than none. That keeps me going. All love, Geraldine aka kindredxxxx
I know, I know, the ordeals we go through, the ordeals ...
Keith sleepy again and slept his way through two puddings. He is having me on! Well, he isn't really, he is just sleepier now. In the few waking moments, he was doing rhyming lists such as, a tap with a tip, a bee with a tree, a bear with hair, stuff like that. It's quite catchy once you start doing it. Other residents started doing it too, but the main activity today was hot air ballooning with some good drawings being done, and singing. We have also started to have sessions singing ;Thank you very much for .... using lovely mundane things like Thank you very much for Keith's new socks, thank you very much .... we can keep this up for quite a while!
One of the residents who is often a bit cross started shouting HURRAY HURRAY HURRAY so I went over and asked her what it was all about and she said, I'm HOME!! and I said, what's it like and she said, IT'S GLORIOUS.
Thank you guys, I know this is such a tense and difficult time for so many of you, all my heart and love. My sadness is simply that I know Keith is little by very little going away, if you see what I mean. But I have decided that any beloved Keith, any Keith, is better than none. That keeps me going. All love, Geraldine aka kindredxxxx
Hi ...Apart from slow and steady deterioration since 2010 after 2 brain virus’s and then general anaesthetic twice within 8 weeks culminating in 6 months of being really poorly ,we were managing and just dealing with the memory/anger /aggression etc, them boom a full blown stroke last Christmas (( thankfully no paralysis)) but fast deterioration with the Alz/Vas ...he has been in denial for a long time ,however yesterday he was told by our stroke consultant in no uncertain terms the seriousness of his illness and is very frail, he’s accepted it I think although doesn’t really understand as has difficulty comprehending....I don’t really know what to feel or think as it was a shock as all that has never been said before. I hope I can take one day at a time but right now I feel numb. I’m rambling a bit but thank you so much for reading ...A x
Starbright, love, of course you feel numb. I am so so sorry. Yes, such a shock. Please do talk on this thread as much as you can, you are so welcome. With love, Kindredxxxx
Hi Kindred... thank you so much for your thoughts ...I’m really just trying to get my head around what’s been said ...put it all in prospective, just need to get a grip really .But it’s so lovely to know that TP is out there with good folk sharing their experiences and it helps enormously....... Take care A x
Good evening @kindred and anyone else that is following this thread.
Yes, that very simply sums everything up. Losing the one you love day by day, but no matter how they present themselves, you just love them more and more ...
Hot air ballooning topic sounds grand, I may mention that for Mum's lot. I can see that it could offer some varied activities. Mum had a visit by a miniature pony this morning (yes really). She went up in the lift, had a 'nappy sack' on and little boots to cover her horseshoes (I saw the pics) and surprised Mum in her room! Mum adores animals and was evidently all over the pony, although she couldn't remember it 2 hours later
. At least the experience was good.
A very loving visit today - all my favourite (and IMHO the best) staff were on duty - YAY! The CH is excellent, but things are always even calmer and happier when my fave staff are there. I did Mum's weekly manicure (she is wanting brighter and brighter nail varnish - femme fatale!!), bit of a hand massage, tea and cake. Radio on in the background, I sang along with one of my favourites, especially for Mum : 'Close to You' - ('Why do birds suddenly appear ...etc) which made me rather happy as I love the song. The radio and I then continued with 'Say a little prayer for you' - the words seemed so appropriate as I'm thinking about Mum practically 24/7. Mum seemed to understand the lyrics and loved it.
My love to all posting on this thread.
XX
Yes, that very simply sums everything up. Losing the one you love day by day, but no matter how they present themselves, you just love them more and more ...
Hot air ballooning topic sounds grand, I may mention that for Mum's lot. I can see that it could offer some varied activities. Mum had a visit by a miniature pony this morning (yes really). She went up in the lift, had a 'nappy sack' on and little boots to cover her horseshoes (I saw the pics) and surprised Mum in her room! Mum adores animals and was evidently all over the pony, although she couldn't remember it 2 hours later
. At least the experience was good.A very loving visit today - all my favourite (and IMHO the best) staff were on duty - YAY! The CH is excellent, but things are always even calmer and happier when my fave staff are there. I did Mum's weekly manicure (she is wanting brighter and brighter nail varnish - femme fatale!!), bit of a hand massage, tea and cake. Radio on in the background, I sang along with one of my favourites, especially for Mum : 'Close to You' - ('Why do birds suddenly appear ...etc) which made me rather happy as I love the song. The radio and I then continued with 'Say a little prayer for you' - the words seemed so appropriate as I'm thinking about Mum practically 24/7. Mum seemed to understand the lyrics and loved it.
My love to all posting on this thread.
XX
Lovely to hear about your love and the care your dear mum is getting. Be kind to yourselfGood evening @kindred and anyone else that is following this thread.
Yes, that very simply sums everything up. Losing the one you love day by day, but no matter how they present themselves, you just love them more and more ...
Hot air ballooning topic sounds grand, I may mention that for Mum's lot. I can see that it could offer some varied activities. Mum had a visit by a miniature pony this morning (yes really). She went up in the lift, had a 'nappy sack' on and little boots to cover her horseshoes (I saw the pics) and surprised Mum in her room! Mum adores animals and was evidently all over the pony, although she couldn't remember it 2 hours later
A very loving visit today - all my favourite (and IMHO the best) staff were on duty - YAY! The CH is excellent, but things are always even calmer and happier when my fave staff are there. I did Mum's weekly manicure (she is wanting brighter and brighter nail varnish - femme fatale!!), bit of a hand massage, tea and cake. Radio on in the background, I sang along with one of my favourites, especially for Mum : 'Close to You' - ('Why do birds suddenly appear ...etc) which made me rather happy as I love the song. The radio and I then continued with 'Say a little prayer for you' - the words seemed so appropriate as I'm thinking about Mum practically 24/7. Mum seemed to understand the lyrics and loved it.
My love to all posting on this thread.
XX
Could it have been American HAND GUNS? Wasn't there some shooting going on in Rawhide? Someone would have had to have a strange accent to have that sound like Hard Gums. However it makes me laugh anyway. And I needed a laugh.
Perhaps mundane but worth more than gold. My love brought me a pair of his socks to keep my feet warm. Of all the thoughtful gifts over sixty plus years, this is the best, so precious.
Oh wow, what a beautiful visit! A MINIATURE PONY. This is amazing, just wonderful. And the song close to you is so so lovely. Oh what a visit, thank you with all heart, such a joy to read. with love, GeraldinexxxGood evening @kindred and anyone else that is following this thread.
Yes, that very simply sums everything up. Losing the one you love day by day, but no matter how they present themselves, you just love them more and more ...
Hot air ballooning topic sounds grand, I may mention that for Mum's lot. I can see that it could offer some varied activities. Mum had a visit by a miniature pony this morning (yes really). She went up in the lift, had a 'nappy sack' on and little boots to cover her horseshoes (I saw the pics) and surprised Mum in her room! Mum adores animals and was evidently all over the pony, although she couldn't remember it 2 hours later
A very loving visit today - all my favourite (and IMHO the best) staff were on duty - YAY! The CH is excellent, but things are always even calmer and happier when my fave staff are there. I did Mum's weekly manicure (she is wanting brighter and brighter nail varnish - femme fatale!!), bit of a hand massage, tea and cake. Radio on in the background, I sang along with one of my favourites, especially for Mum : 'Close to You' - ('Why do birds suddenly appear ...etc) which made me rather happy as I love the song. The radio and I then continued with 'Say a little prayer for you' - the words seemed so appropriate as I'm thinking about Mum practically 24/7. Mum seemed to understand the lyrics and loved it.
My love to all posting on this thread.
XX
Well, er, that visit was, er, quite something. Started off calmly enough. Keith dozy but I've known worse and he is trying to teach me the procedure for threading mushrooms. AND THEN one of the activity nurses is talking about school days and asks the question did you ever get sent to the headmaster. And one or two answer and then one of them shouts how she would be given SIX OF THE BEST and somehow from this, the discussion goes on to corporal punishment ... Skilfully steered back to school by the activity nurse, but quite electric at the time. AND THEN one of the residents shouted to another that all the one being shouted at wanted was sympathy, AND THEN one of the nurses stood there and said WE ALL WANT SYMPATHY. I want sympathy, you want sympathy, and we went round the room saying how wanted sympathy ...
Up to this point, Keith had reserved his more melancholy side to me, but then he starts flirting with the nurses and they are getting his beautiful smile. I'm really not bothered as long as he smiles ...
Pretty lively! Good though. Feels real. Thanks, guys, thank you. Geraldine aka kindredxxxx
Up to this point, Keith had reserved his more melancholy side to me, but then he starts flirting with the nurses and they are getting his beautiful smile. I'm really not bothered as long as he smiles ...
Pretty lively! Good though. Feels real. Thanks, guys, thank you. Geraldine aka kindredxxxx
Hi @kindred - that sounded a humdinger of a visit. I sat in on the weekly news round up on Sunday and it all got quite heated about wearing burkas ... need I say more?
I'd love Mum and Keith to have a chat. 'Threading mushrooms?' sounds fascinating and so like the stuff Mum comes out with.
It's a no visit day today so I am catching up on housework and about to put a few more of Mum's bits and bobs onto that well-known online auction site. Nothing exciting, just bits and pieces from a long life that are no longer needed and have no sentimental value, so they might as well go to somebody who wants them and the money can go in Mum's account for trips, hairdressing etc
While typing this I have just had a call that Mum has tested positive again for UTI. GP's been called, I've told them I'm here and ring if they need me and I'll be visiting first thing in the morning. As always the guilt monster has whopped me one, but if previous UTI's are anything to go by, visiting now will not achieve anything as Mum will be distinctly not 'with it'. Glad I'm only 15 mins away though.
X
I'd love Mum and Keith to have a chat. 'Threading mushrooms?' sounds fascinating and so like the stuff Mum comes out with.
It's a no visit day today so I am catching up on housework and about to put a few more of Mum's bits and bobs onto that well-known online auction site. Nothing exciting, just bits and pieces from a long life that are no longer needed and have no sentimental value, so they might as well go to somebody who wants them and the money can go in Mum's account for trips, hairdressing etc
While typing this I have just had a call that Mum has tested positive again for UTI. GP's been called, I've told them I'm here and ring if they need me and I'll be visiting first thing in the morning. As always the guilt monster has whopped me one, but if previous UTI's are anything to go by, visiting now will not achieve anything as Mum will be distinctly not 'with it'. Glad I'm only 15 mins away though.
X
Oh thank you so much. All honour to you doing some streamlining of bits and bobs. Love it that it will fund mum's hairdressing and trips. Oh I am sorry, though, that mum has just been tested positive again for UTi. Please tell the guilt monster to go away, it isn't needed. I understand, though ..
I know, threading mushrooms ... there is obviously a world out there (or in there) that we have no knowledge of!! Bit like the Hobbit in your head.
all love, sweetheart, loved hearing about wearing burkas seminar ....!!! Geraldinexxxx
