The last few days have really made me think about this one.
My OH has always been a bit difficult , controlling and self centred, but obviously now has dementia.
I've kept a diary and been going through it. There has been days where I can say 'Yes it's dementia' but others where he seems perfectly 'normal' so wonder how much he may be playing on it for attention.
If I just sit on laptop, watch TV or read, he will just sit on sofa, un-motivated, expecting to be waited on. But if I've popped out, he puts his shoes on and goes into garden or moves about. I know this because things move/change.
If I go into garden and do something, he moves off the sofa and potters around. Making a cup of tea, eating biscuits etc.
He can go for hours without any communication with me but chats away for an hour when his sister phones. He knows that drives me mad.
If I say he should try to do something for his mobility, there is a major argument with excuses as to why he can't. That normally ends with some childish remark like 'Oh I'll get the ladder and clean the gutters'.
This morning I asked what he thought about, which ended in a major confrontation, so I left him to it and spent the whole day upstairs, apart from making dinner etc. He wasn't at all bothered that I wasn't in room. I could hear him pottering about. He went into garden for a walk, made tea, got biscuits/cake etc. Now I'm sure this is his controlling behaviour coming through. He thinks I'm where he wants me, because this has happened in past.
Now I can hear him actually washing up the dinner things. Something he hasn't done for weeks.
How I would like a glimpse inside his head
My OH has always been a bit difficult , controlling and self centred, but obviously now has dementia.
I've kept a diary and been going through it. There has been days where I can say 'Yes it's dementia' but others where he seems perfectly 'normal' so wonder how much he may be playing on it for attention.
If I just sit on laptop, watch TV or read, he will just sit on sofa, un-motivated, expecting to be waited on. But if I've popped out, he puts his shoes on and goes into garden or moves about. I know this because things move/change.
If I go into garden and do something, he moves off the sofa and potters around. Making a cup of tea, eating biscuits etc.
He can go for hours without any communication with me but chats away for an hour when his sister phones. He knows that drives me mad.
If I say he should try to do something for his mobility, there is a major argument with excuses as to why he can't. That normally ends with some childish remark like 'Oh I'll get the ladder and clean the gutters'.
This morning I asked what he thought about, which ended in a major confrontation, so I left him to it and spent the whole day upstairs, apart from making dinner etc. He wasn't at all bothered that I wasn't in room. I could hear him pottering about. He went into garden for a walk, made tea, got biscuits/cake etc. Now I'm sure this is his controlling behaviour coming through. He thinks I'm where he wants me, because this has happened in past.
Now I can hear him actually washing up the dinner things. Something he hasn't done for weeks.
How I would like a glimpse inside his head