Anxiety through the roof again.
I'm hoping that I've prevented what I regard a safeguarding issue.
After I've told my siblings when the Adult services are coming to do the care assessment, my brother has shared that he has hired a builder in to do essential work on part of the roof of the house and that the house needs clearing. This is after an announcement from him that he and his wife are going to go through the house room by room to empty it. This is while Mum is still living there and to my knowledge, without her consent. Yesterday evening after my announcement on the chat group about the assessment date, my siblings started to organise how they were going to empty the house. That they were going to get a skip and get her friend to take her out for the day and that the three of us emptied the rest of the house. I eventually told then that I presumed that they fully understood the emotional and phycological distress this would cause Mum and how it could cause a deterioration in her Dementia. I told them where to find local support in learning more about the illness and that there was an information pack in the house next to Mums day chair. Secondly, I'm appalled that they want to use Mums friends to do this to her. This, in my opinion will isolate her even more if she thinks that she can not only not trust her family but that she can't trust her friends either.
I feel that this is now escalating into a safeguarding issue but making a referral could put myself and my daughter in a precarious situation in regard of income and housing.
When Dad passed away, he left most of the assets to my brother including the family home but the content was to go to my sister and I. Both my sister and I was given a modest sum of money and because of my life situation at the time, I needed to have an income coming in while I got myself back on my feet. My brother persuaded me to buy a lodge on his park which has given me a basic income over the last few years as a holiday let. So, more than half of my income comes through his hands. The second thing, half of my home was in my fathers name, he bought out my ex partner so the kids and I had somewhere to live. The house was meant to come to me and the children but since the will passed the assets to my brother, his name was transferred to the deeds which put me in a position that he, on paper, and legally owns half of my home. He's not the type of person to throw me off his park making me loose income nor throw us out of our home, but, I don't feel that I'm in a safe position to challenge him about his conduct.
I know that both my brother and my sister are doing their best and are shouldering the care of Mum, they are by no means silent siblings in her care. They do mean well but they're just a bit insensitive and I genuinely believe that they don't understand the implications of the actions that they are planning on taking.
That might make him think he should get someone in to do it "properly" next time.......
