Hello, I’m new to this forum and came across it because I need someone to speak to and I have no one who understands anything I’m going through.
I am the sole carer for my dad. I live with him and my bf. He has carers 4x a day but they still ask me questions all the time as if he’s not there and he still has capacity which I’ve complained about. I also work full time from home which doesn’t help.
I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my mind and I’m finding I snap at my dad more and more but at times I feel he is taking advantage of me. For example if my dad knows I’m downstairs he will call my name numerous times for basic takes which he can do like take his plate into the kitchen but when I’m upstairs I hear him get about just fine in between the carer visits. He has this thing also when I’m there that he “can’t walk” and granted he does really struggle to walk since being in hospital as they kept him bed bound for nearly 2 months but I’ve watched him from the corner of a room and if he’s struggling he just takes some time and then starts again but if I’m there all of a sudden he can’t do anything. He also has started calling my partner on his phone when I’m out to ask him for help with things that he can do and has asked him not to tell me.
My dad does struggle with things like communication has decreased and memory so he may forget I said I’m leaving for the day or he forgets where something may be but I’m starting to get angry as I feel he’s sometimes “milking” it. I snapped a few days ago and told him to stop calling my name every 5 minutes and since then he’s been reluctant to ask for help but I wouldn’t dare put him in a care home but I don’t know what to do. He also complains how unstable he is on his feet as he could walk with a stick before he was admitted to the hospital and now he has a frame but whenever I tell him to walk more in the day he just makes excuses. What can I do because I feel if I get any angrier I’ll turn into the hulk. I feel like it’s affecting my relationship also and I want to have kids and I’ve already had issues with stress health wise and I’m only in my late 20’s. I don’t know how much more I can take.
I am the sole carer for my dad. I live with him and my bf. He has carers 4x a day but they still ask me questions all the time as if he’s not there and he still has capacity which I’ve complained about. I also work full time from home which doesn’t help.
I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my mind and I’m finding I snap at my dad more and more but at times I feel he is taking advantage of me. For example if my dad knows I’m downstairs he will call my name numerous times for basic takes which he can do like take his plate into the kitchen but when I’m upstairs I hear him get about just fine in between the carer visits. He has this thing also when I’m there that he “can’t walk” and granted he does really struggle to walk since being in hospital as they kept him bed bound for nearly 2 months but I’ve watched him from the corner of a room and if he’s struggling he just takes some time and then starts again but if I’m there all of a sudden he can’t do anything. He also has started calling my partner on his phone when I’m out to ask him for help with things that he can do and has asked him not to tell me.
My dad does struggle with things like communication has decreased and memory so he may forget I said I’m leaving for the day or he forgets where something may be but I’m starting to get angry as I feel he’s sometimes “milking” it. I snapped a few days ago and told him to stop calling my name every 5 minutes and since then he’s been reluctant to ask for help but I wouldn’t dare put him in a care home but I don’t know what to do. He also complains how unstable he is on his feet as he could walk with a stick before he was admitted to the hospital and now he has a frame but whenever I tell him to walk more in the day he just makes excuses. What can I do because I feel if I get any angrier I’ll turn into the hulk. I feel like it’s affecting my relationship also and I want to have kids and I’ve already had issues with stress health wise and I’m only in my late 20’s. I don’t know how much more I can take.