Just wanted to say Hi as this is my first posting. My mum was diagnosed yesterday as having Altzheimers and vascular dementia combined. She is 79 years old and I have had my suspicions to the diagnosis for a while now so it wasn't a huge shock, even though if honest it would have been nice to be wrong in my thoughts! My mum was extremely positive and pleased to find out about her memory loss and what is causing it. I am scared for her and my dad for the future and I know it is difficult to predict it but reading about its progression is daunting. Mum was prescribed medication to hopefully slow it down and she has signed up to some classes for skills to boost her memory so her positive outlook is totally inspiring and I love her for it.
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- Thread starter Mum2four
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It is very good she is positive. Not everyone deteriorates quickly. My husband is on a long slow slide and keeping active and involved socially will be helpful for Dad as well as your Mum. Encourage them to go to as many groups and outings as you can. This will also take some of the strain away from you.
Good luck.
Good luck.
I would echo what Marionq has said. My OH is also on a long slow decline, with hiccups here and there (worse when he lost a lot of weight ( he was already slim), also hospitals stays are the very devil!) join as many organizations as possible. If there any dementia friendly events, go. Our area has started singing groups which are proving popular. There will be somebody (ageuk in our area at the moment) who will come around and help mum with form filling for things like AA and council tax reduction. It does help so much go get both you and your mum known and on the radar.
Hi there. I'm kerrie, new to this site too. What a brilliant tool this is. My mother inlaw was diagnosed last week with Alzheimer's. She is 82 and very active and mobile...it was such a shock to us,,,I was sure she was suffering with depression. I didn't see the signs at all. I should have done, but I think when you are so close to someone, you don't recognise the signs, it's so obvious to me now. At least with the diagnoses, it answers many questions, and enables us to care and support her in the best possible way. There is certainly a lot to take in. First thing is a will and sorting power of attorney etc...it's sooo expensive!! We are looking to go to some groups etc, to help my mother inlaw. I have vowed I will do my very best by her...now for the journey forward...
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Hi to the two new members. You are right Kerrie to get the legal and financial bits sorted ASAP as they certainly seem more difficult as the condition progresses. We put lasting power of attorney in place as soon as my husband's Alzheimer's was diagnosed. He is only 67. I was told that there is financial help with it if the person with dementia meets certain financial criteria. Also the attendance allowance is not means tested and there is a reduction on council tax for people living with dementia.
These are just a few quick thoughts which you both may be completely aware of.
The Alzheimer's Society will also provide helpful information as will Age Concern. Memory cafés exist in most areas. There is help and support but you have to look for it and the person with dementia has to be prepared to accept it.
Best wishes to both of you and we might meet again on here.
These are just a few quick thoughts which you both may be completely aware of.
The Alzheimer's Society will also provide helpful information as will Age Concern. Memory cafés exist in most areas. There is help and support but you have to look for it and the person with dementia has to be prepared to accept it.
Best wishes to both of you and we might meet again on here.
Thanks for the welcome and nice to meet you all. I have sorted attendance allowance and council tax for mum but not power of attorney yet. We have been told of a group nearby and so hope to get to that soon. Can anyone recommend any good books about altzheimers/vascular dementia?
I'm new too!
Hello there, so glad to have found this, and you people. My mum, 81, had a diagnosis of cognitive impairment with evidence of vascular dementia in January but has gone downhill really quickly and I am really struggling to cope as an only child who lives over two hours away. We are lucky enough to be able to buy a little house across the road from us (we don't have a spare bedroom at ours) for her but the worry is that she will be even more disorientated by moving. She calls me about 5 times a day asking the same questions over and over, and so confused, so I don't see how she can stay where she is either. Stuck between rock and hard place! I keep trying to reassure her and say she is doing fine, but I wonder if I should tell her that she is being forgetful and confused in the hope that might persuade her to leave her home and be near me. She doesn't really remember the diagnosis and keeps asking if there is a cure, which breaks my heart . Sorry for rambling.. Been a long day of guilt and confusion on all sides and i am very aware it will only get worse. Am going to try to find an expert to advise re the moving house but your thoughts would be wonderfully welcome. You all have my utmost sympathy.
Hello there, so glad to have found this, and you people. My mum, 81, had a diagnosis of cognitive impairment with evidence of vascular dementia in January but has gone downhill really quickly and I am really struggling to cope as an only child who lives over two hours away. We are lucky enough to be able to buy a little house across the road from us (we don't have a spare bedroom at ours) for her but the worry is that she will be even more disorientated by moving. She calls me about 5 times a day asking the same questions over and over, and so confused, so I don't see how she can stay where she is either. Stuck between rock and hard place! I keep trying to reassure her and say she is doing fine, but I wonder if I should tell her that she is being forgetful and confused in the hope that might persuade her to leave her home and be near me. She doesn't really remember the diagnosis and keeps asking if there is a cure, which breaks my heart . Sorry for rambling.. Been a long day of guilt and confusion on all sides and i am very aware it will only get worse. Am going to try to find an expert to advise re the moving house but your thoughts would be wonderfully welcome. You all have my utmost sympathy.
Have you seen the section on books in TP? I only noticed it recently. I think Alzheimer's website also has suggestions.
New to the site too
Hi there I'm new to this site but have been caring for my mum for the last 18 months who was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year.
I have moved back to the UK from France to look after my mum and I am finding that my world is diminishing.
Mum is 88 and is still engaged with a life to a certain degree, she goes to a day centre twice a week and church on another two days. I try to take her out as much as possible. I strongly advise looking for Singing for the Brain groups in your area, run by the Alzheimer Society, my mum really enjoys it and always perks up after by the end of the session.
Because my place of residence is France and not the UK applying for the carer's Allowance has been a total nightmare. Despite the fact I have temporarily moved back and I'm living with my mum so therefore with her for more than the 35 hours a week (minimum time demanded) they are wanting me to jump through hoops to prove that I have still a connection with the country. I have to show that for the 3 years before I started caring for mum, that I spent at least up to 2 years back in the UK. As if having to deal with mum's dementia and all her administartion isn't enough.
I am coming up for 60 next year and I'm wanting to reclaim my life. Who knows what is around the corner waiting for us, my brother has recently been diagnosed with cancer, my husband died 12 yeas ago aged 56 so I am acutely aware that life can be shorter than we hope for.
I feel as if I have done the best for mum but because of feelings of resentment/anger/guilt and all the rest I know that sustaining this situation for very much longer is going to be detrimental all round.
In the meantime I have a part time job working with Special Needs children, equally challenging but in a different way and takes my mind off things back with mum, Social Services are partially picking up the bill for a care package set in place that allows me to "escape". My wish is to return back home next year, but I feel that the longer I stay with mum the more difficult it will be for me to extricate myself, unless her condition greatly deteriorates and the Social Services deem that home is no longer the best place for her.
I am tired and want my life back...
Hi there I'm new to this site but have been caring for my mum for the last 18 months who was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year.
I have moved back to the UK from France to look after my mum and I am finding that my world is diminishing.
Mum is 88 and is still engaged with a life to a certain degree, she goes to a day centre twice a week and church on another two days. I try to take her out as much as possible. I strongly advise looking for Singing for the Brain groups in your area, run by the Alzheimer Society, my mum really enjoys it and always perks up after by the end of the session.
Because my place of residence is France and not the UK applying for the carer's Allowance has been a total nightmare. Despite the fact I have temporarily moved back and I'm living with my mum so therefore with her for more than the 35 hours a week (minimum time demanded) they are wanting me to jump through hoops to prove that I have still a connection with the country. I have to show that for the 3 years before I started caring for mum, that I spent at least up to 2 years back in the UK. As if having to deal with mum's dementia and all her administartion isn't enough.
I am coming up for 60 next year and I'm wanting to reclaim my life. Who knows what is around the corner waiting for us, my brother has recently been diagnosed with cancer, my husband died 12 yeas ago aged 56 so I am acutely aware that life can be shorter than we hope for.
I feel as if I have done the best for mum but because of feelings of resentment/anger/guilt and all the rest I know that sustaining this situation for very much longer is going to be detrimental all round.
In the meantime I have a part time job working with Special Needs children, equally challenging but in a different way and takes my mind off things back with mum, Social Services are partially picking up the bill for a care package set in place that allows me to "escape". My wish is to return back home next year, but I feel that the longer I stay with mum the more difficult it will be for me to extricate myself, unless her condition greatly deteriorates and the Social Services deem that home is no longer the best place for her.
I am tired and want my life back...
Hi mum2four its good that your mum is being positive. You've come to the right place for advice and help. You just have to deal with things as they come along with dementia. theres always someone with wise advice and a shoulder to cry on when needed. Or when the dementia gets to much for the carer to bare. So welcome to you and the others that have posted on your thread. lindax
