My Dad has just been diagnosed and he's fighting it

[SarahJaneUK]

Hi Everyone, I'm pleased to have found this forum, where there are so many shared experiences, as I have just come off a call with my Dad who refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem. He's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Dementia and they're prescribing him Donepezil, which I'm pleased about as if we can slow this process down then all the better. All Dad can think about is the fact that we have to let the DVLA and his Insurance Company know. He's furious about that. He keeps saying "I've been driving for 60 odd years and I've never had an accident"... He's getting quite angry towards me (but at least I live a couple of hours away) but he is also getting angry towards my Mom (who is registered deaf/blind) and that's heartbreaking to see. This disease truly is very cruel.

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome to the forum @SarahJaneUK

Your dad`s reaction is perfectly normal and understandable.

Yesterday he was considered fit to drive and today he might be considered unfit

It is not written in stone he will have to give up his licence. Many people with dementia are willing to be tested annually for fitness to drive.

It`s dad he is taking his anger and frustration out on your mum. I`m afraid it happens to many of us.

I hope you will stay on the forum for support

 

[canary]

Im afraid that many people never believe that they have dementia. My mum used to get very angry if it was suggested to her, so I just to refer to her "bad memory"
Unfortunately the possibility of having to give up driving is often a flash point, but you do have to report a diagnosis of dementia to the DVLA and the insurance company. DVLA may consider him still OK to drive and allow a yearly licence

 

[annieka 56]

Hi Everyone, I'm pleased to have found this forum, where there are so many shared experiences, as I have just come off a call with my Dad who refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem. He's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Dementia and they're prescribing him Donepezil, which I'm pleased about as if we can slow this process down then all the better. All Dad can think about is the fact that we have to let the DVLA and his Insurance Company know. He's furious about that. He keeps saying "I've been driving for 60 odd years and I've never had an accident"... He's getting quite angry towards me (but at least I live a couple of hours away) but he is also getting angry towards my Mom (who is registered deaf/blind) and that's heartbreaking to see. This disease truly is very cruel.

 

[annieka 56]

I imagine that not being allowed to drive is a very big thing for most people after many many years of driving.
So I suppose you have to let the DVLA and insurance company know and see what they say as he may indeed be ok to carry on driving.
My husband after his dementia diagnosis in 2018 was advised to not drive and I agreed he should not as his parking suddenly became not so good.
Circumstances took over as we shared a car that often had problems so 1 day I said I had taken it to the mechanics. I then parked it on another street and continued to use it for work for a few weeks until he forgot all about driving and I couldn't leave him to go to work in any case.