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My Brother Has Received The Grant Of Probate

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,266
0
West Hertfordshire
I teach Piano and Violin from a shop and also from home it is part-time. They have always reminded me that they work full time even when I went round different schools and when I was carer. Also they work in the arts industry and the time that they spend in the studio is similar to me practising.

MaNaAk

PS: I don't get time to do this.

so they minimise your profession/job. Not a lot different to theirs then really, especially if they are self employed.

As soon as this current lock down ends, book a couple of weekend out to 'sorting with them' and break the back of it
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,372
0
Essex
Good question @mellesbelles. The elder brother has said that he runs half of his art classes on-line. I think they are both trying to do online work. I am also missing a third of my pupils at what should have been my busiest time. Where clearing is concerned I could break the back with a few weekends like @Jessbow has just suggested but one of my brothers lives miles away so he would have to stay over and we would have to work round this.

MaNaAk
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
21,498
0
North Manchester
After the 2nd December gatherings limits for the new tiers continue to be relaxed when facilitating moving home

Exemptions from gatherings limits in all tiers

...
...

  • to facilitate moving home
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/local-restriction-tiers-what-you-need-to-know#exemptions .

Although not explicitly stated I am assuming that this allows travel between differing tiers and between a tiered area and one with no local restrictions.
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,266
0
West Hertfordshire
i think you are being a bit unfair jessbow
Really? sorry.

i have been there, been the one in the family home, with the absent brother demanding his half, having been in exactly the same situation. ( without Covid complication) As Nitram says, that can be worked round


Its vile, absolutely Vile, but eventually you have to accept its going to happen. My fear from MaNaAk is that they WILL just plough on ( majority rule and all that) and the house WILL go on the market in feb, ready or not. Thats far harder to cope with. Keep on chipping away, put your emotional energy into getting it ready to roll, rather than finding reasons why it shouldn't. There is a future although its hard to see now. Keep eyes forwards, not back- the passed cannot be changed, only the future shaped
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,090
0
Good morning @MaNaAk . I think moving one of those events where the anticipation is far more stressful than the event itself. It will all happen, things will fall into place. It will be ok.

You are a musician, which is an amazing thing to be, a teacher which is an amazing thing to be, you've been a carer which is an amazing thing to be. Just have faith in yourself. It will all be fine and you'll be fine too.

I suggest a deep breath and a brisk walk!
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,372
0
Essex
Really? sorry.

i have been there, been the one in the family home, with the absent brother demanding his half, having been in exactly the same situation. ( without Covid complication) As Nitram says, that can be worked round


Its vile, absolutely Vile, but eventually you have to accept its going to happen. My fear from MaNaAk is that they WILL just plough on ( majority rule and all that) and the house WILL go on the market in feb, ready or not. Thats far harder to cope with. Keep on chipping away, put your emotional energy into getting it ready to roll, rather than finding reasons why it shouldn't. There is a future although its hard to see now. Keep eyes forwards, not back- the passed cannot be changed, only the future shaped

My brothers blame me for slowing down this process but in fact the eldest of my two brothers did his bit towards slowing it down by announcing that he and his wife were not prioritising probate and they were waiting until everything dies down before making an application. I was the one who chased them up not my youngest brother and neither of them know that I've been clearing a lot of rubbish.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,372
0
Essex
Good morning @MaNaAk . I think moving one of those events where the anticipation is far more stressful than the event itself. It will all happen, things will fall into place. It will be ok.

You are a musician, which is an amazing thing to be, a teacher which is an amazing thing to be, you've been a carer which is an amazing thing to be. Just have faith in yourself. It will all be fine and you'll be fine too.

I suggest a deep breath and a brisk walk!

Thankyou I enjoy my walk to work and I'm looking forward to my left over mince pie.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,372
0
Essex
I've found that whilst I'm in a bubble with one brother and we've got on each others nerves I've given myself a break from him whilst cleaning and clearing the house that I'm leaving. The other brother didn't want clearing to be done until probate (which he delayed) had come through.

MaNaAk
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
819
0
Lytham St Annes
I agree with @Jessbow , and don’t see anything in the comments that were unfair.

As I and others have said this is a difficult time, made harder by the relationship with your brothers, but as hard as it is to accept they are entitled to their share of the property and I honestly don’t think the on the market date you have is too rushed.

I think they probably understand how hard this is for you and that you really want to remain in the family home, also they believe you are delaying things and slowing the process because of that.....but they are not going to give you the time you want to move at your own pace, nor be supportive of you, they have proved that.

You really need to work together sorting out and packing your own things ready.

Having said all of that, if you agree with your friends that you feel bullied, then do seek further advice.

Pushing for the sale and settlement of inheritance may not be bullying as such, but only you know the full situation.

I really feel for you as I’ve said before, and I wish things were different, but it’s not and so the quicker this can be finalised and your in your new home settled the better all round.

Take care x
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,090
0
By the way, @MaNaAk , in case you haven't already looked, there are lots of useful online resources to help you organise the move, and the run up to it. This is just an example but one of the best ones I've seen, with a comprehensive week by week to do list:

 

nita

Registered User
Dec 30, 2011
2,026
0
Essex
I wonder if it's worth seeking professional clearance help? Tradesmen are allowed in the house even with lockdown so stuff can be taken away. Of course, that costs money so would have to be agreed between you.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,372
0
Essex
By the way, @MaNaAk , in case you haven't already looked, there are lots of useful online resources to help you organise the move, and the run up to it. This is just an example but one of the best ones I've seen, with a comprehensive week by week to do list:


Thankyou @lemonbalm and @nita.

MaNaAk
 

Up the Creek

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
77
0
East Anglia
Oh @MaNaAk, I have been following your threads and how I wish you were in a position to do what I did. I got so fed up being pressured to move out that one day I phoned my mum to see if I could move in with her, phoned a fried with a van who turned up the next day and helped me pack and remove everything I wanted from the house, sent the other parties an email stating where they could find the keys and moved out.
I had some satisfaction knowing I had left them to clear the house and get it ready to sell and even greater satisfaction when it took two years to sell
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,372
0
Essex
Hello Everyone

Tomorrow my youngest brother is coming to do some clearing but other brother has sent an email asking to help me look for a flat and asking for figures. He has done this before and I have given him an idea of what I can afford but I get the impression that he would like to what I am earning (not very much at the moment) and what savings I have. Bit reluctant about this as I think I should get with the clearing first of all.

MaNaAk
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,266
0
West Hertfordshire
he's trying to help, just give him a figure around what you can afford.You dont have to consider any of the properties he sends details of

''My budget is £210K maximum''


You really do need to get an idea of what is out there, propertywise. Anything that s on the market now may well be open to offers by Feb- its good to keep an eye of what is availible and how quickly they sell