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My Brother Has Received The Grant Of Probate

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
Hello Everyone.

I'm just letting you all know that I will be emailing my brothers about coming to do some clearing later. One of them will be able to come as we are in a social bubble but the other one won't be able to come until after the 2nd December. He lives two hundred miles away.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
Just letting you know that the email was sent and both brothers are willing to help although one of them asked whether I had an idea of a flat yet. I am keeping an eye on the market as well as going through my lists of things that I want to keep and those that can go straight away. Both brothers need to see what they want to keep to avoid any more disagreements we have had this in our family before when my aunt had a stroke. What is it about families? We also had a similar problem when my uncle on dad's side had a stroke!

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,852
0
Southampton
we say in my family that the vultures are circling. it really does bring out the worst in people. with my nan, my sister dad and dad wife cleared my nans bungalow in indecent speed and there was nothing left. they sold all her jewellry and had all the money in the house before they told me she was in a care home.first i heard was when i was called to the hospital when she had a fall at the care home and wasnt expected to live. didnt tell me she couldnt speak and through my tears, i kept saying what have they done to you nan?. i was allowed to have the cabinet my granddad made me only from my mums house.
 

Louise7

Registered User
Mar 25, 2016
2,715
0
@MaNaAk It's good that you are giving your brothers the opportunity to decide if there is anything that they would like to keep, that's how it should be. When clearing out Mum's house my sister and I did the same thing, and decided what we each did and didn't want to keep, and I'm sure that she wouldn't have been happy if I hadn't included her in the process.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
Thankyou you two. @jennifer1967 that's what mum said to dad about his nieces and nephew when they were after uncle's land before he passed away! Also what happened to you was the same thing that happened to my great aunt on my mum's side. It's so sad.

MaNaAk
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,089
0
I hope the brothers (or should we call them bothers?) are a help and not a hindrance @MaNaAk . Who knows, perhaps it may even turn out to be a bonding experience...... (ever the optimist)
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
My brothers are expecting a quick sale and think that we should be the youngest one is going to contact me about coming to do some clearing. What annoyed me is that he said some of us have work to do?

MaNaAk
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,089
0
How irritating @MaNaAk . Don't rise to the bait. It's just a childish way of trying to make himself look big by trying to make you feel small.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,089
0
I don't suppose he's going to change now. A friend of mine recently said she'd had a light bulb moment when she realised that her sister was never going to change, so she would just accept her as she was. Good advice I think.

E-mail is good. Nice to have a communication trail!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,852
0
Southampton
email is good because you can cut them off when you want. accepting is a powerful thing and gives you back the power rather than blaming yourself which you shouldnt do
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
My brother is coming on Friday to see what needs packing and a couple of friends are concerned about me being bullied out of the house and would like me to see a solicitor. I am going to have to be assertive because I feel that I could end up being pushed into doing most of the packing and on one occasion I have nearly pulled muscle.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
1,852
0
Southampton
thats the concern. might be wise or even citizens advice bureau which are usually good. with a solicitor, can have a free 30 minutes so can see if there are grounds. others may have better suggestions. remember that its not just your brothers house but your house as well
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,265
0
West Hertfordshire
Are you being bullied out though? Or are they doing what they are charged with as executors?


They ( I say they because there are seemingly 2 and the 1-you) Seem to have set a reasonable time frame, for something to happen. Yes there is packing and sorting to do in the meantime but they will have to play a part in that.

Are they pushing hard? Its been a while since your Dad passed away, and will be some time before the house goes on the market. How can you be pushed along before its deemed bullying?
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
I can only see how things pan out things have to be organised. Someone telling me that they work and meaning that I don't doesn't help. They have to be prepared to lend a shoulder to cry on but other than this it is best to be business like as @jennifer1967 says.

MaNaAk
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,265
0
West Hertfordshire
Difficult to be businesslike when its about your emotional response.Easy to call someone a bully when they are doing what they have to, and you dont like it.

Dont take everything to heart, They work, you dont is a fact, covid has made things difficult, but press on as best you can, when you can. be seen to be making progress.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,369
0
Essex
I teach Piano and Violin from a shop and also from home it is part-time. They have always reminded me that they work full time even when I went round different schools and when I was carer. Also they work in the arts industry and the time that they spend in the studio is similar to me practising.

MaNaAk

PS: I don't get time to do this.
 

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