Mum showing signs, but refuses to accept

[Boo333]

Hi, I'm new to the site and would really appreciate any suggestions here.

For the last year, mum's signs have been; getting lost, forgetting family member names, general confusion and odd behaviour (cheesy custard, grilled apple pie etc.)

Not too worrying I know, but I and other family members decided not to speak to mum about Alzheimer's as we believe her depression may reappear.
She has however, a part time job which she loves, (In her words, "It gives me a reason to get up") and unfortunately someone from her work has reported her as having dementia. She completely refuses to believe that she may have the condition and has actually said, "well, if I have dementia, I may as well end it all now".

It's a no win situation really, since mum stands a good chance of regressing into depression again if a test confirms her dementia or if she loses her job and from what mum tells me, I can't tell if her manager is going to insist on a test or not.

Don't think she would 'end it all', but obviously I can't ignore this.
It's great to know there are other people out there to talk to and my heart goes out to those whose situation is a lot worse

 

[marionq]

I think you need an open discussion with her about dementia in general. There are different types of dementia and they have a variety of outcomes. If you read as much as you can you might get an idea of where she is on the spectrum eg I know my husband has had memory problems for years, confusion, lack of logical thinking etc but he is the picture of health and apart from a dodgy knee very active. We walk, swim, go to the theatre, go on holiday and take part in a number of activities organised by Alz Scotland. Most of these he forgets as fast as he has been to them but in the moment he enjoys them all very much. I freely admit that if I were not here organising and arranging then things would be very different because he would not be as well fed, dressed, stimulated or happy as he is now.

However your Mum has a good family and a life of her own she is motivated to continue with so if she sees a GP and pursues help with AD if that is what she has then the outcome need not be catastrophic.

 

[Boo333]

I think you need an open discussion with her about dementia in general. There are different types of dementia and they have a variety of outcomes. If you read as much as you can you might get an idea of where she is on the spectrum eg I know my husband has had memory problems for years, confusion, lack of logical thinking etc but he is the picture of health and apart from a dodgy knee very active. We walk, swim, go to the theatre, go on holiday and take part in a number of activities organised by Alz Scotland. Most of these he forgets as fast as he has been to them but in the moment he enjoys them all very much. I freely admit that if I were not here organising and arranging then things would be very different because he would not be as well fed, dressed, stimulated or happy as he is now.

However your Mum has a good family and a life of her own she is motivated to continue with so if she sees a GP and pursues help with AD if that is what she has then the outcome need not be catastrophic.

Thank you marionq
I think you're quite right, a 'gently, gently', discussion is on the cards, hopefully when the right moment arises unless her work insists on a test, then I guess I'll be' picking up the pieces' again.
Sounds like you and your husband have a wonderful marriage