Mum has alzheimers

[L.gav]

Hi all, I’m Lucy.

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers disease a few years ago but has been living on her own in sheltered accommodation for the past 7 years. She had a stroke about 10years before her diagnosis and I’m not sure if it is related but noticing the signs of her progressive disease has been difficult as the stroke already left her struggling to find words and meant she is very different to the person I grew up with.

She had a heart attack at the beginning of October this year and since then we have been in a downward spiral. I live in Essex and she lives in Lancashire. I have taken time off work, I’m a teacher, to look after her at home. I also have two young boys, aged 6 and 8. She came to stay with me last week but has decided to go home soon and I am so worried.

Things seem a lot worse than I realised, she talks in riddles, doesn’t stick to one story she goes off on tangents all the time. She got really angry with me yesterday for asking a simple question and she refused to talk to me for the rest of the day. She hadn’t washed her clothes in months, she struggles to wash herself and often just stays in pyjamas all day. She had a partner who looked after and took her out for meals but their relationship broke down last week, this was the trigger for her coming to stay with me. I’m worried that she won’t eat, won’t/can’t clean herself or her house. I’m worried that if she falls no-one will know. She wants to live on her own but I can’t help her. I live too far away, have too many commitments with my children and my job which I only started in September and I don’t know what to do.

She is only 67.

I don’t know what to do.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Lucy @L.gav Welcome to the forum although I`m very sorry you need to be here.

All I can suggest is you apply to Social Services for an assessment of needs for your mother.

Apply for a needs assessment by social services

Apply for a needs assessment by social services through your local council - support, home care help, disability equipment, day centres, care homes

www.gov.uk

If you can , try to get your mother to agree to you having an LPA if you don`t have one already. It will make it so much easier for you to make decisions in her best interests.

 

[canary]

I agree with @Grannie G , but it might be better to contact the safeguarding department. Stress that she is a "vulnerable adult", that her partner has left, that she wishes to return home, but you are unable to look after her, so she would be on her own and will be "at risk of harm" due to "self neglect" as she is no longer able to look after herself. Do use the wording I have quoted as these are words to make them take notice.

Social Services have the duty of care in these circumstances. Im just not sure whether it should be SS local to you, or where she has her sheltered accommodation. You might also want to contact her sheltered accommodation to find out what concerns they have about her.