hello im new to this and wonder if any one has to deal with multiple phone calls from their caree. it doesnt sound vital but it is one of the things that is really wearing me down.my mum, who has vascular dementia , phones constantly(24 times today and the record is 49 times). I work at home and it is incredibly disruptive.none of the calls are vital and she does have a care line buzzer for emergencies. If I ignore them(guiltily)she just phones every 2 minutes til I answer. This also fills my message box therefore blocking business calls. Am I being unkind ignoring any of them?Also she can be quite nasty on the phone which upsets me.
multiple phone calls
- Thread starter worn out
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Does she live on her own? Does she have any carers or sitters coming in who could distract her? How about a Day Care Centre? I am afraid unless she is distracted by other people or things she will not stop calling as she is no longer aware that this will disturb you. All she know is that she feels lonely and wants to talk to you as a reassurance.
Welcome
Have you thought about getting a 2nd telephone line, it does not cost much and can be serviced through the same BT telephone cable coming into your house, you just need an additional box
OK, this will not solve the problem of your mum calling but this would free up you business line and on your "Mum line" maybe you could record a long message that your mum could listen too before being able to leave a message
Just an idea that popped into my head
she does have three sitters a week(only an hour each time) and an age concern volunteer who pops in about once a week.I also take her to a church coffee morning once a week and either my brother or I visit for two hours every evening (to make sure she eats and troubleshoot generally)She refuses point blank to go to day care(she says they would all be old people)(she is 88).Really cant see a way to entertain her any more as we both work and she seems to want 24 hour entertainment.I apprecate she is lonely but what to do?
November last year mum started telephoning all her children, bottom of the list so I didn't get too many, but my poor brother, between midnight and 5 a.m endless phone calls, in one night he received 96 calls from mum, none of them important, just wanting to know when she would see him. I would get a few between 5 and 8 a.m. Apart from all the other weird things she was doing, we were fairly sure it was dementia. Now we are a week away from getting a diagnosis.
Dave
might try that. not a bad idea. cant really change business number as on all websites stationary etc and old clients are used to it but suppose a mum line might work.she always thinks recorded messages are real people so that might cause havoc.she accuerd my brother of having an affair because his answer phone had a female voice and has never quite let go of the idea.
might try that. not a bad idea. cant really change business number as on all websites stationary etc and old clients are used to it but suppose a mum line might work.she always thinks recorded messages are real people so that might cause havoc.she accuerd my brother of having an affair because his answer phone had a female voice and has never quite let go of the idea.
No you can not change your business number, I realise that by working my business from home
Does your Mum physically dial your number or press a button on the phone, if the latter you could change the quick dial number without her knowing
The answer machine voice message would be yours, I am sure you could be imaginative with your own voice recording for your mum
Honestly, that's how bad it got for my brother. Recorded messages did not help either. Now she lives with me and I have control of telephone and if she could she'd still be doing it now, except it would be during the day, sometimes I have to unplug the phone, just to stop any possible mis dials. Also she has a dummy line and phone in her bedroom and when she really starts to obsess about my brother she goes to that phone and leaves "air" messages. Her obsession with my brother is just, well out of control.
tin
funny,my mum obsessed with my brother too! most of the calls to me are to say she cant get him on the phone.which is not surprising as he is at work.dont think recordings would help really as if she didnt get an answer to her question she would just keep calling. suppose theres no real solution
funny,my mum obsessed with my brother too! most of the calls to me are to say she cant get him on the phone.which is not surprising as he is at work.dont think recordings would help really as if she didnt get an answer to her question she would just keep calling. suppose theres no real solution
Sorry Wornout, I just reread my previous post to you, probably terrified the life out of you! IT DOES NOT HAPPEN TO EVERYONE. Before mums illness she always had an addictive personality, I think that may be one of the reasons for her many addictions now! They've simply followed her in to Dementiahood.
I'm afraid my mum did that, even though she had carers 3x daily, family visiting four full days a week & "pop in's" on the other days.
She just didn't remember that she'd seen or spoken to anyone.
In the end we blocked her number from 11pm until 6am just so we could sleep.
Mum's in a CH now, I definitely don't miss those calls & even now, my stomach still lurches every time the phone rings.
Lin x
She just didn't remember that she'd seen or spoken to anyone.
In the end we blocked her number from 11pm until 6am just so we could sleep.
Mum's in a CH now, I definitely don't miss those calls & even now, my stomach still lurches every time the phone rings.
Lin x
Dad used to ring me all day and night and if I didn't pick up within a few rings he was off out the door to find me.
BT do a two phone numbers on one line facility. No equipment required, the new second phone number has a different ring tone. They just activate from afar. I am not sure how answer phones would work with it though. Don't know if that would help you, wouldn't have worked with my Dad.
BT do a two phone numbers on one line facility. No equipment required, the new second phone number has a different ring tone. They just activate from afar. I am not sure how answer phones would work with it though. Don't know if that would help you, wouldn't have worked with my Dad.
So it does happen to everyone, like you wornout, I just thought it was mums addictive personality/obsession. There is one thing I have noticed this week, she no longer dials a number, just picks up handset mutters a few numbers in to it and then starts talking, so maybe in time she'll just stop.
Oooh constant phone calls about nothing.... I remember them soooo well... And the cold pit in the tummy whenever the phone rang....
Mum only stopped ringing so much when she went into the care home....
Once in the care home. Initially she called once everyday, but then had to ask carers for help in dialling an outside line... Then once she couldn't do that, or get my phone number right.... carers distracted her... Haven't had a phone call from her for at least 8 months.... And sorry. It's absolute bliss.
She used to constantly write down our phone number on any bit of paper she could find... It seemed Each time she wrote it out, she would get the numbers muddled up... I dread to think who she called when she rang those numbers.... Just so glad it wasn't me....
The only phone I answer now is my mobile... For some strange reason I have an aversion to the home phone...
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Mum only stopped ringing so much when she went into the care home....
Once in the care home. Initially she called once everyday, but then had to ask carers for help in dialling an outside line... Then once she couldn't do that, or get my phone number right.... carers distracted her... Haven't had a phone call from her for at least 8 months.... And sorry. It's absolute bliss.
She used to constantly write down our phone number on any bit of paper she could find... It seemed Each time she wrote it out, she would get the numbers muddled up... I dread to think who she called when she rang those numbers.... Just so glad it wasn't me....
The only phone I answer now is my mobile... For some strange reason I have an aversion to the home phone...
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
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