Thank you I really feel it’s hard for my eldest daughter as after I broke my hand & cracked my ribs I haven’t been able to do quite a few things It has been tough as neither of us driving at the moment I try to limit what I ask her to do just collect prescriptions & get money out for us I just get the feeling she maybe worried about what help we may need in the future If my mobility was good it would be a lot easier Hoping to get back driving very soon thank you for your advice I think it’s because I haven’t been well I’m feeling so down x
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- Thread starter Angel 4
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Illness makes us very vulnerable @Bevhar , especially when we have the full responsibilities of caring. It's all too much sometimes.
Is there any chance you can get some help in the house? I had an agency carer come, in the guise of a cleaner to help me, rather than help my husband.
He was happy to accept any help for me. It wasn't a threat to his independence.
It brought another person into the house for a couple of hours and that in itself was a comfort.
It was paid for by Direct Payments as an alternative to my husband having day care because he refused all suggestions and it was accepted I needed support.
Ask your doctor when you go on Tuesday.
Make a note of what you want to discuss just in case you forget anything.
Is there any chance you can get some help in the house? I had an agency carer come, in the guise of a cleaner to help me, rather than help my husband.
He was happy to accept any help for me. It wasn't a threat to his independence.
It brought another person into the house for a couple of hours and that in itself was a comfort.
It was paid for by Direct Payments as an alternative to my husband having day care because he refused all suggestions and it was accepted I needed support.
Ask your doctor when you go on Tuesday.
Make a note of what you want to discuss just in case you forget anything.
Thank you I am getting a cleaner who will start in September
I’m finding the loneliness the worse thing not having anyone to chat to My husband is the love of my life but I’m losing him bit by bit Can I ask how old was your husband when diagnosed Your posts are so helpful thank you x
My husband was 73 when he was diagnosed @Bevhar and we had at least 5 years of difficulties prior to diagnosis.
We lived in the North West and at the time I was caring for my mother who had Alzheimer`s. I have never driven and my husband was wonderful in sharing the caring of my mother, even though at times he was awful with me.
My mother died in 2002 and our son suggested we move to the South East to live near him. My husband was delighted at the idea. He adored our son and so we moved.
As soon as we arrived my husband wanted to go home. We had been visiting during all the school holidays for 10 years and he knew the area well but was totally disorientated once we lived here and told me it was the biggest mistake he had made in his life.
There is much more to this but all I can say is he was diagnosed three years later in 2005.
I`d had no chance to make any new friends and apart from our son was isolated with a husband who didn`t like me very much. It was this forum which saw me through some of the most difficult years of my life and that is why I`m still here.
We lived in the North West and at the time I was caring for my mother who had Alzheimer`s. I have never driven and my husband was wonderful in sharing the caring of my mother, even though at times he was awful with me.
My mother died in 2002 and our son suggested we move to the South East to live near him. My husband was delighted at the idea. He adored our son and so we moved.
As soon as we arrived my husband wanted to go home. We had been visiting during all the school holidays for 10 years and he knew the area well but was totally disorientated once we lived here and told me it was the biggest mistake he had made in his life.
There is much more to this but all I can say is he was diagnosed three years later in 2005.
I`d had no chance to make any new friends and apart from our son was isolated with a husband who didn`t like me very much. It was this forum which saw me through some of the most difficult years of my life and that is why I`m still here.
Bless you so tough for you Is your son an only child I am & found it tough when my parents both passed away with a stroke my mum at 70 in 2000 then my dad in 2002 my husband was my rock & helped me through it all My eldest daughters partner committed suicide in Afghanistan when my daughter was 24 again my wonderful husband kept everything going He has always been my the love of my life & my rock & I need to be his but at times I just miss our old lives He’s happy & not depressed which I’m so lucky for it’s me who is struggling I hope you’ve managed to make some friends now It’s lovely that your son wanted you to be near him Thanks for all your good advice xx
Yes @Bevhar My son is an only child.
My husband was of the strong belief that people should only have the number of children they are able to afford and was very sensitive to the population explosion.
Because he is an only child I’m well aware of what he considers his responsibilities and so try very hard to make as few demands on him as possible.
My husband died ten years ago and I still miss our old lives but am learning to be good at accepting what I cannot have.
You will come through this. It is not your choice but you will get there. There is no alternative.
My husband was of the strong belief that people should only have the number of children they are able to afford and was very sensitive to the population explosion.
Because he is an only child I’m well aware of what he considers his responsibilities and so try very hard to make as few demands on him as possible.
My husband died ten years ago and I still miss our old lives but am learning to be good at accepting what I cannot have.
You will come through this. It is not your choice but you will get there. There is no alternative.
There really isn’t My youngest daughter has just one little boy My eldest has twins it must have been very hard for you Did you still manage to have happy times together I just feel so sad I know I’m not alone and so many young onset dementia cases Our Dementia Advisor says she’s dealing with twice as many
cases not sure if this is because people more aware & seeking help earlier I’m trying to
get involved in as many groups as possible My husband has just been put on Memantime as he has a low heart rate so couldn’t have Donepezil I really had to fight for it It’s so exhausting have to keep ringing people &
not having my calls returned Ive got so much paperwork i need to do I’m now doing one thing again as I was getting overwhelmed It’s wonderful you come onto this forum & give such wise advice xx
That’s amazing my daughter went to India she loved it & my father was there in the war & loved the people there I must get a better
Mindset just finding it hardMy I ask how old was your husband when he was diagnosed xx
My husband is 68 & I’m 70 I’ve read that people have dementia for quite a long time before diagnosis I didn’t notice it at first as my husband was always forgetful & muddled But my daughter & sister in law were concerned we were lucky to get the diagnosis quite quickly I imagine if people live alone it takes a lot longer for a diagnosis Im feeling a bit calmer now thank goodness xx
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