Life expectancy

[Weasell]

Mum passed away.

She was 93.

Many people supporting people with dementia end up with something similar to post traumatic stress disorder, after the person they have supported dies.
They often go though hell in the run up and have to witness a passing no one would choose.

Well mum was in one of the best rehab units in the country, the care was literally ten out of ten, and they were doing observations etc. she went to bed and didn’t wake up in the morning. They had no idea she was dying. So my message is that it does happen, and without any indication it’s coming, so it isn’t inevitable that Carers have that pain as their future.

Anyway for information purposes mum lived five years after diagnosis, which is statistically spot on I believe.

 

[Grannie G]

My condolences @Weasell.

There is often much reflection after the death of someone we have cared for for many years. It's all we can do really.

Few people seem able to live in the present, especially when confronted with serious illness and death. The progression of dementia varies so much as do the natures of those who are carers.

Look after yourself now.

 

[sdmhred]

So sorry to hear your news @Weasell

Thank you for your wise words. All my best for the next stage of your journey.

Keep posting when you’re able.

take care xx

 

[canary]

Im so sorry to hear your news @Weasell
Nothing ever seems to happen the way we expect, does it?
Be gentle with yourself now
xxx

 

[jennifer1967]

so sorry to hear the news @Weasell thank you for the wise words and smiles you have given me. the rest of the post needs thinking about

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

So sorry for your loss, @Weasell

I was 'lucky' too with my mum. She was 'a bit off colour'for a few days before she died but it wasn't really expected. She spoke to a carer in the early hours but when he checked on her later she was dead.

After three years of wondering if she'd go on forever, it still came as a shock but it wasn't the long, drawn out traumatic end many people unfortunately experience.

Wishing you strength and peace.

 

[MarieD]

So Sorry for your loss
My mother also passed away today
It was very peaceful and quick she’d only been diagnosed three years ago
It’s been awful watching her fade away day by day with dementia 😢

 

[GillP]

Sincere condolences to you both, @Weasell and @MarieD. Your loved ones are no longer suffering, take solace in that. Take time to find yourself again, that’s what I’m trying to do.

@Weasell , your words have given me things to consider.

You are in my thoughts x

 

[Sarasa]

Sorry to hear of the loss of your mothers @Weasell and @MarieD. They are now at peace and as my lovely late mother in law used to say it is now time to look after you.

 

[Chaplin]

Condolences to @Weasell and @MarieD. Be kind to yourselves in the weeks and months ahead.

 

[Firecatcher]

Sending condolences to @Weasell and @MarieD and hope you both get the support you need.

 

[Weasell]

so sorry to hear the news @Weasell thank you for the wise words and smiles you have given me. the rest of the post needs thinking about

Thank you @jennifer1967 . Your advice is spot on as normal, I did have a think and edited my post.
Many thanks to everyone, and sending my condolences to @MarieD .

 

[Wildflowerlady]

My condolences @Weasell and @MarieD my dad passed away around 5 years after his diagnosis.

 

[Izzy]

Condolences from me too @Weasell and @MarieD.

My mum passed away 5 years after her diagnosis of vascular dementia. My husband passed away 15 years after his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s.

 

[Chizz]

My condolences as well.
Knowing it's coming, doesn't soften the blow. As already said, be easy with yourself.

 

[Bunpoots]

My condolences too @Weasell and @MarieD

My dad also passed away unexpectedly @Weasell . A shock at the time but I know he’d have preferred that to lingering.

 

[Ineedhelp]

I lost my mum a fornight ago, it was very unexpected she passed away due to hospital acquired chest infection. Mum had dementia but you could have a conversation with her. I knew it would get her one day, but I never expected it to be so quickly. She was my best pal and I feel so alone.
Relatives have told me I need to leave family home, father has dementia with cancer. He is not expected to last the year, horrible man violent and abused me in my teens. I feel if I had the courage I would do myself in, but I stay with my niece so I have to be strong for her.

 

[Chizz]

My condolences to you @Ineedhelp for your mother's passing. Be easy with yourself as you did all you could.
You are not obliged to care for anyone, especially not one that abused you!
Hugs

 

[Ineedhelp]

My condolences to you @Ineedhelp for your mother's passing. Be easy with yourself as you did all you could.
You are not obliged to care for anyone, especially not one that abused you!
Hugs

Thank you. Hugs much appreciated

 

[Weasell]

I lost my mum a fornight ago, it was very unexpected she passed away due to hospital acquired chest infection. Mum had dementia but you could have a conversation with her. I knew it would get her one day, but I never expected it to be so quickly. She was my best pal and I feel so alone.
Relatives have told me I need to leave family home, father has dementia with cancer. He is not expected to last the year, horrible man violent and abused me in my teens. I feel if I had the courage I would do myself in, but I stay with my niece so I have to be strong for her.

So sorry for your loss.
Your niece is lucky to have you.
I am sure together you will find a way though this.