Dearest Helen,
I am sorry to read your latest post. I really hope your appointment comes through very very quickly, it is unbearable to have to wait for a definite diagnoses. I know the doctor said Alan is a very sick man, but they said that to my husband 12 months ago, when they found his fluid on the lung. He is not well by any means, but he is stable and mostly happy and contended. You may find the same will happen with Alan. My husband slowly deteriates and has done for a long time, but we still have eachother as you and Alan do. Make the most of each day live in the now and if Alan is mostly happy as he is today, you may be able to be happy with him. My thoughts are with you, you have had a bit shock today give yourself time to rethink your plans and take it a step at the time. Biggest hugs ever and warmest thoughts.Win x