For Bastan
I have not looked at the site for a few days, though I know how comforting and helful you all are.I have just not been able to face it.
I just received via e-mail an update from your site, and all I can say is that I needed you so much, and have been so sad, worse than I have been up till now.Hence, thank you, I have now, because of Bastan's letter come back to you.
My husband, as I have written earlier on this site is much at the same state as your husband is Bastan. The added sadness for me, and I do not write this out of self pity, is that I am alone here in the south of France. Yes, of course I have friends, and my English based daughter is in continual contact, and visits every couple of months.Have to say that I am envious of your family being so near to you.
One additional problem my husband has, is that he can barely walk. He has physio therapy, and will use a cane for support if he remembers. He will not use a frame, and the wheel chair is only used when he is being taken from a to b.
He is falling every few days, and over the last 5 months, he has had a split scalp (16 stitches), fell against a table and bust his upper false teeth, and looked like a hamster with his swollen cheek etc. Then a month ago he broke his nose. The latest was today when he fell; he had his breakfast, and the nurse was organizing his bathing session, when he got out of his chair, and wham, down he went. Inch long split on his forehead, and a badly grazed arm, which I am told is a miracle that it was not broken.
I had a long talk with both his doctor at the Nursing Home and the head nurse today, and we all agree that we do not want him to be restrained. As the doctor said, he would not do it to his dog, and he will not authorise it for a patient. He pointed out to me, the enormous responsibility the staff feel, he too. So, what is to be done, just leave him to wobble around I guess. He will undoubtedly brake some thing one day.
I visit 5/6 days a week. I go mid morning, and then I am there to feed him his lunch, the main meal of the day. He really does not eat much,but I am assured that he eats more if I feed him. Last week he asked me in the mumbled words that he uses, who was I, and what did I want?I knew another stage had been reached, and that is why I have been so sad. To see a man, my husband, a business man, who used to be on TV some years ago, reduced to bibs, nappies, and an all in one 'combination' to sleep in, is difficult to accept. I came home today, and for the first time, I felt how much longer can I face this? it is breaking my heart.
By the way, the biggest comfort in my life, is a rescue dog, named Lilou, who stays alone for 3/6 hours a day, welcomes me, sleep with me, and comforts me.
Sorry, this is long. Thank you, all you dear people for being there, and giving me this chance to open my heart. I feel better now !
LMN