Hi there,My husband of 50 years entered a care home in Oct 23 due to his advancing Parkinson dementia and I'm still numb and in tears alot of the time.I know he must be there(for his health and safety and my health)but I feel I'm in mourning.I miss him terribly and he is over an hour from home so I only see him about twice a week.In my case,I don't know if I will ever effectively cope with this situation.I being Debbie Downer here and I'm sorry but I saw him today...when I return home from the visits, the sadness and longing for his presence peaks.
First of all there is probably nothing I can say here that will make you feel better. This loss you feel is so strong and real that it takes over everything.
When I lost my wife to a care home I nearly had a nervous breakdown with grief. I can only advise that you get to the doctors soon to discuss some medication ( you don’t have to take it but it’s there just in case). Also try to find some counselling. Talking it through outside of the Forum may help.
You need other people. People to talk to about your grief. There’s no comfort at this early stage telling you it’s for the best and he’s in the right place looked after by professionals but the fact is that this is the case. Get to know the staff better as they can be a valuable source of information, comfort and understanding. I became friends with the staff at my wife’s home and it became a friendly place to be.
I wish I could help relieve your distress more but it’s true that time does make a difference. Be kind to yourself and cry buckets, punch pillows, shout and swear at the unfairness of it all. Peterxx