Husband’s diagnosis

[Babcia]

Hi, about a month ago my husband (76) was diagnosed as having Dementia with Lewy Bodies. His symptoms had been around for about 18-24 months and he finally went to speak with our GP. Having the neurologist put the diagnosis into words was like a slap in the face and I (71) have been reeling ever since (even though we knew in our hearts). Generally, he has been most affected by his memory dysfunction whilst I have been most affected by his cognitive impairment and I miss those what if.. conversations and exploring options and forming conclusions. They also asked him to stop driving so my world has done a total 360 change. Whereas he used to go out 3-4 times a week and I would do the same now I’m trying to keep most of my activities going but having to take him to his and due to distance wait for him to finish is eating into my spare time for washing/cleaning and chill time. I am not complaining, I would move heaven and earth for him but I find I’m always on the go and helping him with his activities at home eg crosswords which he can’t complete on his own any more, means I have even less time. I feel guilty going out because he can’t just pop out independently. Thankfully he still does all the cooking and can manage to walk to the supermarket to buy a few things independently, successfully (although I have to pick him up as he probably couldn’t walk back with shopping due to other medical issues). My main mission in life now is to keep his body and mind active. He is on Parkinson medication to help movement and is due to start a patch which may help in the medium term.
I‘m coping quite well and don’t feel the need for external help yet and as we know each person has their own individual journey with their own timescales so the future is unknown.
So, that’s where I’m coming from. I’m looking forward to reading other people’s journeys and helpful suggestions.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Babcia and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your husband’s diagnosis but you both seem to be coping well so far. I know that it is difficult because you want to help your husband to retain his previous activities as well as your own but please take care to have as much rest as possible, full time caring can be very tiring.
You also say that you don’t feel the need for external help just yet. I would suggest that t might be a good idea to think about having help now rather than later. The reason for that is to get your husband used to the idea, as sometimes people with dementia can be resistant to care.
Please keep posting as there is lots of help and experience available through our members.

 

[Babcia]

Thank you for your wise words based on experience no doubt. I’ll have to take that on board. Much appreciated insight.