Holidays !!!

[BeeBeeDee]

We are currently on day 7 of a 10 day holiday in Tenerife.
I have been able to relax physically but not really mentally, maybe for a few hours during the day.
We don't do much - just lay by the pool, read, relax, go in the pool, wander round the hotel grounds.
Every single morning it is as if it's the first day here, he doesnt know what to wear, I put his clothes out for him and he questions if they are his clothes - well they certainly aren't mine. I ask him to get the key card for the room and every single b.....y day he shows me it and asks if this is what I mean, not just once, numerous times then just as we are about to leave the room he says hang on a minute we havent got the thing to get back in the room.
I could go on and on with what he is like, but it is so wearing these none stop questions over and over day after day. I eventually tell him to lay down and read his book. (he reads it but whether he actually takes in what is happening I dont know).
What the people close to us around the pool think of me telling him off all the time I don't know. We don't really make any friends as he doesnt hold or follow a conversation and unless he goes to the toilet to give me chance to explain why he is like he is then they must think he is quite rude as he just talks about some random thing in the middle of a conversation.
I hasten to say - he is at the early stages and he is complete denial there is anything wrong.

 

[lemontart]

Hi BeeBeeDee, all that is very familiar to me. In the early stages I was not used to these behaviours, and used to get very annoyed with it all, and with him. `Now it is easier to be more compassionate because I am more aware of his vulnerability. I think you are brave to go on a foreign holiday with your husband. My last trip with a flight was in April this year and I vowed that would be the last. It was all very stressful. I hope you manage to enjoy a lot of your holiday in spite of everything. I know how hard it is.

 

[Saddy]

We are currently on day 7 of a 10 day holiday in Tenerife.
I have been able to relax physically but not really mentally, maybe for a few hours during the day.
We don't do much - just lay by the pool, read, relax, go in the pool, wander round the hotel grounds.
Every single morning it is as if it's the first day here, he doesnt know what to wear, I put his clothes out for him and he questions if they are his clothes - well they certainly aren't mine. I ask him to get the key card for the room and every single b.....y day he shows me it and asks if this is what I mean, not just once, numerous times then just as we are about to leave the room he says hang on a minute we havent got the thing to get back in the room.
I could go on and on with what he is like, but it is so wearing these none stop questions over and over day after day. I eventually tell him to lay down and read his book. (he reads it but whether he actually takes in what is happening I dont know).
What the people close to us around the pool think of me telling him off all the time I don't know. We don't really make any friends as he doesnt hold or follow a conversation and unless he goes to the toilet to give me chance to explain why he is like he is then they must think he is quite rude as he just talks about some random thing in the middle of a conversation.
I hasten to say - he is at the early stages and he is complete denial there is anything wrong.

I know how you feel. In the later stages I realise it was a mistake to take him. Looking at photos he looked quite agitated. If he needed the toilet I had to go with him or he wandered off. Turned out an expensive nightmare.

 

[BeeBeeDee]

Hi BeeBeeDee, all that is very familiar to me. In the early stages I was not used to these behaviours, and used to get very annoyed with it all, and with him. `Now it is easier to be more compassionate because I am more aware of his vulnerability. I think you are brave to go on a foreign holiday with your husband. My last trip with a flight was in April this year and I vowed that would be the last. It was all very stressful. I hope you manage to enjoy a lot of your holiday in spite of everything. I know how hard it is.

I do feel bad that I get annoyed with it all, I never was a patient person to start with and this is really testing me

 

[SEA SPRAY]

I do feel bad that I get annoyed with it all, I never was a patient person to start with and this is really testing me

I know just how you feel, @BeeBeeDee. My husband is also in the early stages, I'm not a patient person either and I'm on a steep learning curve. I try so hard to stay patient, but when I'm asked the same question time and time again, sometimes I slip up and my irritation gets the better of me. Also like you, we have a 10-day holiday to Tenerife booked. We go next month and I know that en route to the airport he will ask me numerous times if I have the passports! He will also have brain fog in the early days there as he will be out of his comfort zone. But we both need the break, we can swim, walk and relax in the sun. I will remind myself that each day we can enjoy together is precious and that his condition means that he will never be as good again as on that particular day.

 

[Raest]

Sea spray I could have written this but we included our grown up children and we went to Tenerife for 10 days in August. The only peace we got was when he did word search at the pool and was totally engrossed. We now know that will be his last holiday abroad as he was even more repetitive when anxious and being away from home made him anxious. Hopefully your holiday will be more successful

 

[BeeBeeDee]

I know just how you feel, @BeeBeeDee. My husband is also in the early stages, I'm not a patient person either and I'm on a steep learning curve. I try so hard to stay patient, but when I'm asked the same question time and time again, sometimes I slip up and my irritation gets the better of me. Also like you, we have a 10-day holiday to Tenerife booked. We go next month and I know that en route to the airport he will ask me numerous times if I have the passports! He will also have brain fog in the early days there as he will be out of his comfort zone. But we both need the break, we can swim, walk and relax in the sun. I will remind myself that each day we can enjoy together is precious and that his condition means that he will never be as good again as on that particular day.

Oh yes - I had that - have you got those booklet things that we need to show at the airport. When we got to Tenerife on our 30 minute taxi ride from airport to hotel he asked me 16 - yes 16 times if it was a hotel we had been to before.
Today hasn't been quite so trying, still questions galore and confusion but better than the other day. I love our holidays in the sun and hate to think of them coming to an end