After a great deal of thought and many doubts I booked a holiday to Gran Canaria. We used to do a lot of long haul winter holidays so we’re reasonably experienced. The problem was that we hadn’t been anywhere abroad since covid and my OH was always the chief organiser. I was nervous about getting through the hassle of the airport. However we booked assisted passage and used the Sunflower lanyard. That was a great help although not perfect , we were not seated together on the return flight. He was across the isle on the plane so not ideal. I booked a small hotel, 50 rooms. He was out of his comfort zone to start with, saying on day two that he would like to go home. He did settle after a day or two so all in all it was a success and still talks about It positively. Certainly will do something similar again.
Holiday abroad.
- Thread starter Galloping grannie
- Start date
I went last year to Italy with my OH. Didn't ask for assistance as physically fit. Bit of an issue at security going out as I had not prepared him as unexpectedly there was no queue so I had to hurry him to get his stuff ready - he did not like letting go of his stuff and unbeknown to me he had house keys in his pocket so got stopped to go in pod. The man was getting a bit shirty but luckily a woman took over and managed to persuade him to co-operate. Also I stupidly let him push me to go first through automated passport booth and then had trouble - thankfully again someone helped him but he could have been diverted to the non automatic like another member of our party and he was gone for over half an hour! We are going again in June with some trepidation and I might ask for assistance - would be helpful if you could tell me if going through security and passport control is easy with assistance or do you have to wait a long time as he isn't good at waiting?
Glad to hear your holiday was mainly a success - it makes me more hopeful about ours.
Glad to hear your holiday was mainly a success - it makes me more hopeful about ours.
I am glad to hear about your mainly positive experience! I have booked to go on holiday to Alaska and USA with my husband who has been diagnosed with dementia around a year ago (although going there over the last 5 years). After some upsetting experiences holidaying in the Uk since (cottages with dog) I swore never again. He was unhappy unsettled wanting to go home. But he said he wanted to go on this big holiday, something he has always wanted to do- lots of family pressure to do it. I booked it half expecting having to cancel on the insurance but it is getting closer and closer. I am part terrified part well what will be will be. He still seems keen but I know he is going to flip out when it comes to it. Still I might be pleasantly surprised eh 😹😹😹
My OH is physically fit but was advised to book assistance by others in our dementia group. He wore the sunflower lanyard and this definitely helped. Just had to stop him tucking it inside his jumper! There was a special desk for assistance at check in.We chose not to stay with the wheelchair group so went through security on our own. We skipped a huge queue for security as we were allowed through fast track. Keys were an issue for us as he is obsessive about keys but I didn’t want to trust him with the house keys. Will take a dummy set next time. We also were directed past the queue at our destination for passport control.There were sunflower signs all over the airport at this end, but the lanyard was recognised, not always, abroad. Go for it, I definitely came home more relaxed and he enjoyed it.
My OH was diagnosed in 2019 after several years. Obviously the holiday threw up some problems but less problems than we have at home. It simplified things living in just a hotel room for a week. He struggled to realise we were not in the uk, kept on about how good the weather was, but did eventually get it. We used the sunflower lanyard through the airport and that was a great help. We didn’t do as much as usual on holiday and took things quite slowly, also didn’t ask him to make decisions about what he’d like to do. Hope yours goes well, we all just have to carry on as best we can.
Yes, just hadn’t realised how much he had done in the past making all the arrangements. Has given me the chance to thanks him for it.
Thanks all, I will get a sunflower lanyard and hope for the best. People are usually very kind when they understand the situation.
I really hope it goes well - seems an enormous undertaking to me but then I don't travel well myself!
I wonder, if worse came to worst, do you have an exit plan if you had to suddenly cut the holiday short?
Haha no not really…. I was kinda press ganged into it by the wider family as it was something my husband always wanted to do - a cruise to see whales and icebergs. I could see it was now or never really so I thought well let’s get some decent insurance and if he is not well enough we will get the money back.
The cruise should be okay but going on to visit his daughter and granddaughter in Portland has made it all much more complicated. His daughter is not helpful and doesn’t have room to put us up. I have patched together flights, hotels, airBnB, and looking to arrange car hire but I do feel pretty nervous. My husband is fine at home but gets very anxious out of his comfort zone. We haven’t been out of the country for five years so it is a big unknown how he will cope. Oh well we will find out in June!
The cruise should be okay but going on to visit his daughter and granddaughter in Portland has made it all much more complicated. His daughter is not helpful and doesn’t have room to put us up. I have patched together flights, hotels, airBnB, and looking to arrange car hire but I do feel pretty nervous. My husband is fine at home but gets very anxious out of his comfort zone. We haven’t been out of the country for five years so it is a big unknown how he will cope. Oh well we will find out in June!
@sapphire turner, I would speak to the GP and see if you could get something (e.g. Lorezapam) to give to your husband on an as needed basis.
Make sure that you book your seats on the flights in advance so that you can sit together and get an aisle seat / seat near the toilet etc.
Make sure that you book your seats on the flights in advance so that you can sit together and get an aisle seat / seat near the toilet etc.
I don’t wish to be negative but we recently attempted a lunch out with mum, nevermind a holiday and that went pear shaped!
where does one obtain a lanyard?
where does one obtain a lanyard?
You can get a sunflower lanyard on Amazon, I have ordered one. Not sure how I am going to persuade him to wear it tho!
The lorazepam is a good idea, I will message the GP practice and see what they think. He is not an aggressive person but he can lash out in self defence if he feels that people are getting too close to him.
Thanks all for your support ❤️
The lorazepam is a good idea, I will message the GP practice and see what they think. He is not an aggressive person but he can lash out in self defence if he feels that people are getting too close to him.
Thanks all for your support ❤️
Thanks for info about sunflower lanyard - we'd best keep quiet about it or everyone will want one to get through airport quickly. Can't see my oh wearing one as he has nothing wrong with him in his eyes- Might get us one each and pretend it is a fast track thing!
We are going on holiday with Travelsphere as we did last year- a 2 centre holiday with trips out. There is a courier and last years was lovely - very sympathetic re our situation. I find this sort of holiday gives me a chance to talk to people as they get to know us though the first night we were placed at dinner with another couple and the next night we were on our own - funny that! I'll request a table on our own this year - I completely understand that people don't want to spend their meal with us as oh talks but doesn't listen to anyone else bless him. He was a bit of a nightmare calling the waiters over to order drinks when they were busy - hoping he is a bit quieter this year - hopefully they'll have no alcohol lager as I give him that all the time and he seems to like it. A week away is a bit of a challenge but hopefully worth it for something to look forward to and some sun.
We mainly have weekends away quite often at Warners hotels where there is entertainment in the evening, grounds to walk in, a putting green and swimming pool. The staff are brilliant - the bar manager even bought us drinks after with difficulty removing OH from Jane MacDonalds rehearsal ( not his fault really - they had closed our normal route to the bar - of course on the only day I let him go off on his own). Just remembered another time which I've tried to blot out of my memory when he brought the comedian to a halt to listen to his joke - I don't embarrass easily these days but that was a challenge. I am really lucky that our local dementia carers group that we have just joined has now arranged a weekend away at a Warners hotel. I was amazed when they told me that OH goes free supported by their fundraising. With that and potentially a fast trip through the airport my cup runneth over!
Look forward to hearing everyone's holiday experiences - good and bad! Hope it all works out well for you - after all what can go wrong that we haven't already dealt with worse. Apologies to readers whose partners are too ill to travel but we are aware that our holidays will come to a halt before too long so we need to enjoy them while we can.
We are going on holiday with Travelsphere as we did last year- a 2 centre holiday with trips out. There is a courier and last years was lovely - very sympathetic re our situation. I find this sort of holiday gives me a chance to talk to people as they get to know us though the first night we were placed at dinner with another couple and the next night we were on our own - funny that! I'll request a table on our own this year - I completely understand that people don't want to spend their meal with us as oh talks but doesn't listen to anyone else bless him. He was a bit of a nightmare calling the waiters over to order drinks when they were busy - hoping he is a bit quieter this year - hopefully they'll have no alcohol lager as I give him that all the time and he seems to like it. A week away is a bit of a challenge but hopefully worth it for something to look forward to and some sun.
We mainly have weekends away quite often at Warners hotels where there is entertainment in the evening, grounds to walk in, a putting green and swimming pool. The staff are brilliant - the bar manager even bought us drinks after with difficulty removing OH from Jane MacDonalds rehearsal ( not his fault really - they had closed our normal route to the bar - of course on the only day I let him go off on his own). Just remembered another time which I've tried to blot out of my memory when he brought the comedian to a halt to listen to his joke - I don't embarrass easily these days but that was a challenge. I am really lucky that our local dementia carers group that we have just joined has now arranged a weekend away at a Warners hotel. I was amazed when they told me that OH goes free supported by their fundraising. With that and potentially a fast trip through the airport my cup runneth over!
Look forward to hearing everyone's holiday experiences - good and bad! Hope it all works out well for you - after all what can go wrong that we haven't already dealt with worse. Apologies to readers whose partners are too ill to travel but we are aware that our holidays will come to a halt before too long so we need to enjoy them while we can.
Thanks for this. I have booked a cruise in July. MOH and I have done a few, we lived in Malaysia for two years and I have worked (accompanied) all over the place. Now I am worried about the travel to the ship, embarkation Barcelona. The sunflower Lanyard was something I had not heard of. Looking into it now. I have approached the travel agent for assisted boarding. the lanyard looks like a good belt and braces.
Heathrow info desk gave us a lanyard a few years ago. Initially I wore it because MOH had trouble with automatic passport machines and lanyard got us directed to special assistance passport area instead. It always helped MOH at security, at least in the Uk - less barking of orders to put things in trays etc, more understanding at x ray machines. Recently have booked special assistance through airport ie wheelchair to and from plane. Sometimes (Malta and Marseille) get pushed to front of queue so quicker, othertimes (Madeira) just join the queue with wheelchair. Don't know if its just a BA thing but if you need to book special assistance BA let you book seat numbers for free at same time in advance.
I was interested to read about the lanyards, but now having looked on Amazon I think it highly unlikely my OH could be persuaded to wear one. He hates anyone to know he has a problem. I have been debating whether to book our usual annual holiday to Crete again this year. Upto now we have visited the island twice a year, for 3 or 4 weeks each time. We had a couple of incidents last year which put a bit of a dampener on our stays, but we do have both Greek and British friends there who understand OH. My fear isn`t so much being there as getting there. Airports (especially Heraklion) are the greatest nightmare and worry. Going to have to give this year a bit more consideration.
Very interested in all your comments re holidays. One problem I have learnt to deal with when we are in a new and different environment is OH trying the wrong door when looking for the loo at night. When it happened at a large coastal complex he was found downstairs beside the pool - understandably very upset as was I. Now I know to barricade the outside door and leave night lights on. I know it sounds like a fire risk and I suppose it is but the getting lost risk is much more likely. Looking forward to a cruise next week...fingers crossed!
I looked up assistance info for Birmingham airport and says they give out lanyards (I think they are logoed with airport so may be better than Amazon for this purpose) at support desk or can have one posted. Like you I can't see OH wearing one but thought I could wear it myself as we'll be together - I'll tell him it's a fast track thing I've purchased (he doesn't usually question things that he sees are in his own interest). It says with the lanyard you don't get other assistance but it should be recognised and hopefully you will be pushed through faster and staff should offer help where needed. Worth a try if you decide to go.
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