Father in Law with Dementia

[Ruthie RT]

HI, my name's Ruthie and my mother in law passed away in January leaving my 88 year old Father in Law on his own; we hadn't realised how bad his memory was until she died. We've had hospital / doctor appointments since January and have had it confirmed that he has 'age related cognitive memory decline', and been advised that he's on a slippery slope and it's only going to get worse. He's declined since January and we cope with daily carer visits, daily friend and neighbour visits, plus myself and my husband visiting and helping significantly. To start with he wouldn't talk about my mother in laws death, and it was almost as though she'd never existed, but recently he has just been sad and a bit emotional and says he doesn't like being on his own (despite at least 4 visits including carer every day). We're unsure whether we should arrange bereavement counselling given his memory issues (would that make it worse?? And if bereavement counselling is appropriate for him, should we find help with a counsellor who deals with dementia patients?
Any help gratefully received as we feel out of our depth in dealing with this.
Thanks in advance

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Ruthie RT.

I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It’s good that you’ve found this forum as I know you will find lots of support here are time goes on with your father in law’s memory issues.

I’ve not experience of counselling for people who have dementia but I thought perhaps some of what’s said in this link might be useful -

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/dementia-together-magazine-dec-20jan-21/how-talking-therapies-can-help-person-who-has-dementia

 

[Kevinl]

In a word yes to getting him some sort of help/advice with his feelings.
Typed by a man sat in an otherwise empty house now with both wife and mum (the reasons I joined the site) both in urns in the hall. Loneliness is a real thing as is grief, combined isn't a good place to be. K