Hi I’m new here& I am the primary caregiver for my husband who was diagnosed with dementia in 2018. His dementia has progressed to the point where he is a fall risk & has fallen several times recently without any severe injuries. However, recently he wants to keep getting up on his own without help. I am so frustrated with trying to explain to him that he can get up with his walker but not without someone near to help if he should start to fall. I really lost it tonight & yelled at him for getting out of bed without help which led him to fall. I feel badly that I yelled at him but I am human & it scared me when he fell because he could have gotten hurt or even died. Help!!
Help coping
- Thread starter Emotionally exhausted
- Start date
Hello @Emotionally exhausted and welcome
Its a real problem when they are losing mobility, but are forgetting that they are. You can get alarms to warn you when they are getting out of bed or up from a chair, so that you can get there quickly, but unfortunately, you wont be able to stop it happening because in their own mind they are perfectly able to get up and walk
Its a real problem when they are losing mobility, but are forgetting that they are. You can get alarms to warn you when they are getting out of bed or up from a chair, so that you can get there quickly, but unfortunately, you wont be able to stop it happening because in their own mind they are perfectly able to get up and walk
Thank you. I did think about getting a bed alarm. It helps to know that he thinks he’s able to get up & walk on his own in his mind. I will try the alarm.
My Mum’s the same. Started having falls and can’t get up by herself, but flatly forbids my father to phone for either an ambulance or nearby family for help. Last time, she hit her head on the way down, and there was still no question of Dad calling for an ambulance or paramedic to check her over. We don’t know why he listens to her. Mum’s heavy and Dad’s just skin and bone with the stress of caring for her, so there’s no chance just the two of them could get her up off the floor.
My Mum will eventually give in to outside help when she needs the loo. That used to take two or three hours. The current tactic we’ve suggested to Dad, is to help her sit up while still on the floor and make her comfy with cushions, then keep bringing her cups of tea. It seems to work for them after a fashion. She drinks steadily and the toilet requirement is speeded up. Usually she agrees to outside help after two cups, 45 minutes to an hour later. It isn’t ideal with a potential head injury or fractures, but Dad seems to want to be driven by Mum’s instructions, even when they’re clearly not in her own best interests. It’s the only way we can think to resolve the situation.
We’ve tried to talk to Dad about how long he’d be prepared to leave her on the floor, but he just blanks us and won’t discuss it. He’s ‘master in his own house’ and what he says, goes.
My Mum will eventually give in to outside help when she needs the loo. That used to take two or three hours. The current tactic we’ve suggested to Dad, is to help her sit up while still on the floor and make her comfy with cushions, then keep bringing her cups of tea. It seems to work for them after a fashion. She drinks steadily and the toilet requirement is speeded up. Usually she agrees to outside help after two cups, 45 minutes to an hour later. It isn’t ideal with a potential head injury or fractures, but Dad seems to want to be driven by Mum’s instructions, even when they’re clearly not in her own best interests. It’s the only way we can think to resolve the situation.
We’ve tried to talk to Dad about how long he’d be prepared to leave her on the floor, but he just blanks us and won’t discuss it. He’s ‘master in his own house’ and what he says, goes.
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