Goodbye my love .... John died today
- Thread starter Scarlett123
- Start date
I always knew it would be difficult today. After Terrible Tuesday, I knew it would be very hard. But it was hell. 
My plan was to open all John's Birthday Cards first, read them out aloud, and, possibly sing Happy Birthday to him, which has always been the first thing I have done on Christmas Day.
I couldn't even open one card. So then I thought I'd try instead to open the family Christmas cards, with "Dad" and "Grandpa" on the envelopes. Well that never came about either. I took my Christmas Card to John at the Home on Sunday, and put the Whitetac in my bag, so I could put it on the wall, after I showed it to him. Which I did, though it didn't register.
And there was a present that one of the carers at the Home gave me, beautifully wrapped, addressed to us both. That's still unwrapped. I went to my daughter's for a few hours, and we had a lovely dinner, and she and my son-in-law and grand-daughter kept me going.
My son had bought my presents from America online, and sent to my daughter, including the film Philomena, which I'd read about, and I know will give me a good cry, a massive jar of cashew nuts, which I adore, and a book entitled "365 easy tunes to play on your ukulele" - so I must buy one and learn now!
My daughter's gifts included Chanel No 5 Bath Essence, a CD of songs from the Musicals, and a box of Thornton's Alpini chocolates. For about 25 years, every time I pass a Thornton's, I buy myself one Alpini! Their gifts were so thoughtful.
I've just had a lovely one hour Skype with my son and his family (thank God for modern technology), and my son made me laugh so much when he told me this tale. On Tuesday, he told his 15 year old daughter, and then his 6 year old son that Grandpa England had been so poorly, that he had died, and gone to Heaven.
As soon as my son said the word "died" he dissolved into tears, and my grandson was cuddling my son's head and saying, very solemnly "it's all right Daddy, I know you're sad, and Grandpa England was lovely", and being in general a very kind little boy.
During the day, my grandson was watching loads of TV, so my son eventually said that this was the very last programme he could watch. My grandson protested and shouted "you're the meanest Daddy in the world", to which my son replied "give me a break, I'm having a really tough day here".
My grandson said "why?", so my son replied "I told you, Grandpa England has died, and he was my Daddy". My grandson looked at him, and with all the innocence of a 6 year old said "but that was ages ago! Haven't you got over it yet?"!!!!!
Thank God for Grandchildren. Perhaps I'll be able to open something tomorrow. I hope everyone has had as good a day as possible, and special thoughts and love to everyone who has been bereaved this year.
My plan was to open all John's Birthday Cards first, read them out aloud, and, possibly sing Happy Birthday to him, which has always been the first thing I have done on Christmas Day.I couldn't even open one card.
So then I thought I'd try instead to open the family Christmas cards, with "Dad" and "Grandpa" on the envelopes. Well that never came about either. I took my Christmas Card to John at the Home on Sunday, and put the Whitetac in my bag, so I could put it on the wall, after I showed it to him. Which I did, though it didn't register.And there was a present that one of the carers at the Home gave me, beautifully wrapped, addressed to us both. That's still unwrapped. I went to my daughter's for a few hours, and we had a lovely dinner, and she and my son-in-law and grand-daughter kept me going.
My son had bought my presents from America online, and sent to my daughter, including the film Philomena, which I'd read about, and I know will give me a good cry, a massive jar of cashew nuts, which I adore, and a book entitled "365 easy tunes to play on your ukulele" - so I must buy one and learn now!
My daughter's gifts included Chanel No 5 Bath Essence, a CD of songs from the Musicals, and a box of Thornton's Alpini chocolates. For about 25 years, every time I pass a Thornton's, I buy myself one Alpini! Their gifts were so thoughtful.
I've just had a lovely one hour Skype with my son and his family (thank God for modern technology), and my son made me laugh so much when he told me this tale. On Tuesday, he told his 15 year old daughter, and then his 6 year old son that Grandpa England had been so poorly, that he had died, and gone to Heaven.
As soon as my son said the word "died" he dissolved into tears, and my grandson was cuddling my son's head and saying, very solemnly "it's all right Daddy, I know you're sad, and Grandpa England was lovely", and being in general a very kind little boy.
During the day, my grandson was watching loads of TV, so my son eventually said that this was the very last programme he could watch. My grandson protested and shouted "you're the meanest Daddy in the world", to which my son replied "give me a break, I'm having a really tough day here".
My grandson said "why?", so my son replied "I told you, Grandpa England has died, and he was my Daddy". My grandson looked at him, and with all the innocence of a 6 year old said "but that was ages ago! Haven't you got over it yet?"!!!!!
Thank God for Grandchildren.
Perhaps I'll be able to open something tomorrow. I hope everyone has had as good a day as possible, and special thoughts and love to everyone who has been bereaved this year.Dear Scarlett
You are so very brave. I often read your threads but rarely posted but I admire very much your steadfast care of John and am so sorry for your loss. Such an extra difficult time for you with John's birthday too.
I hope today will be a little easier for you and too for all those on TP who have been bereaved in 2014.
love
Sue
You are so very brave. I often read your threads but rarely posted but I admire very much your steadfast care of John and am so sorry for your loss. Such an extra difficult time for you with John's birthday too.
I hope today will be a little easier for you and too for all those on TP who have been bereaved in 2014.
love
Sue
I'm glad you had some time with your daughter and her family. It helps to get through the day. Good to skype with your son too.
However, underlying it all is this terrible sadness.
It is all so recent and raw for you. I can understand how opening the cards would have been so distressing.
Just do it later, when you can.
Sending love and sympathy and a virtual hug. xxx
However, underlying it all is this terrible sadness.
It is all so recent and raw for you. I can understand how opening the cards would have been so distressing.
Just do it later, when you can.
Sending love and sympathy and a virtual hug. xxx
Thinking of you Scarlett and so wishing time could pass quicker for you so that you can experience less pain and can allow more memory of happier times to infiltrate. Such a difficult time for you at an especially bad time of year. Leave things like card opening that are particularly painful for a time when you feel more able to handle it, maybe when you are together as a family or alone if you prefer. Many good wishes to you to help you past this bad period.
I was also thinking of you yesterday Scarlett-and today. I'm trying to get some solace in thinking that Pete is no longer in pain or confusion and he is with his Mum, Dad and Sister.
Love as always
Lyn T XX
Love as always
Lyn T XX
Oh Scarlett. What a day for you, my poor love. Your grandson sounds adorable. So pleased you could SKYPE them, it makes all the difference. Love John's title, Grandad England. It makes him very special which you knew anyway. Took great pleasure in my 3 year old great granddaughter and Fred was happy yesterday when I visited so can consider that my day was good but that is because I still have HIM if not my husband. Enjoy the company of your loving friends and your shared memories. I hope you will find some comfort with them. Thinking of you. Verityxx
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
So sorry Scarlett. Having a senior moment here. Just realised that it is Lyn meeting her friends, not you. Many apologies to you both. Verity
Sent from my GT-N5110
Sent from my GT-N5110
What's a senior moment between friends.
I read that The Queen used to call King George V Grandpa England, and I liked that, so it seemed the right way to differentiate between the American grandparents and us.Right, hankies at the ready. I opened the present from one of the carers addressed to John and I. In the afternoons, when a lot of the residents were asleep in the lounge, including John, I often used to just sit and hold his hand, and chat to him "do you remember when we met", hoping that something would sink in.
One day, this particular carer, Samantha, was listening to me, and she asked if I was making this up, or was it a real story. So I said that we really did meet singing carols under the Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square, that I'd dropped my carol sheet in the snow, and told John, who belonged to the same Am Dram group, and he offered to share his sheet. By the end of the concert, he'd asked me out and proposed 2 days later.
I also was chatting about The Bottom Drawer, that she'd never heard of, (!) and said that I used to buy a couple of tea towels one week, perhaps some pillowcases the next, but my thrill was buying 2 plates, then 2 side plates, a pudding bowl, 2 dessert bowls, all Pyrex June Rose, but I only had 2 dessert bowls left, and that's cos they were too small for John's appetite and never got used much.
When she gave me the box, she said it was for John and I to open on Christmas Day, when we thought I'd be having dinner with him.
I opened the box, and inside were 4 bubble wrapped packages, as follows:
First package: A laminated photo of carol singers at Trafalgar Square, by the tree, and on the outside was a label TO SET THE MOOD
Second package: Two laminated sheets with the words and music of Hark the Herald Angels Sing, labelled YOUR PLACE MATS
Third package: A cd of Kings College Christmas Carols, labelled LISTEN AND REMEMBER WITH LOVE
Fourth package: 2 June Rose dinner plates, brand new, marked ENJOY YOUR LOVELY DINNER
and on the front of the box IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD LOVE, LISTEN AND ENJOY YOUR DINNER!!
Well, as you can imagine, I sobbed and sobbed. Where on earth did she get a design that was "in" 50 years ago? I know you can get discontinued lines, but we're not relations of hers. The time that must have taken. Kindness from the most unexpected places. I am so humbled. I drove to the Home and dropped off a thank you card to be forwarded, because she's now left and I don't have an address or anything.
I've put the whole thing away, something else I can't deal with just yet, but if nothing else, I've certainly helped the shares for Kleenex Tissues this week.
So sorry to be so behind in sending you my deepest sympathy - I have been off line for several weeks and have only been able to get back by re-registering. I was so sad to read when catching up that your journey together on this earth has come to its end. Words seem very inadequate to express what I am trying to say so I will keep this short, just to say that your love for John shone through every post you wrote. I am sending what love and comfort is possible over the airwaves to you. Look after yourself.
