Goodbye my love .... John died today

[Anongirl]

What's a senior moment between friends. I read that The Queen used to call King George V Grandpa England, and I liked that, so it seemed the right way to differentiate between the American grandparents and us.

Right, hankies at the ready. I opened the present from one of the carers addressed to John and I. In the afternoons, when a lot of the residents were asleep in the lounge, including John, I often used to just sit and hold his hand, and chat to him "do you remember when we met", hoping that something would sink in.

One day, this particular carer, Samantha, was listening to me, and she asked if I was making this up, or was it a real story. So I said that we really did meet singing carols under the Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square, that I'd dropped my carol sheet in the snow, and told John, who belonged to the same Am Dram group, and he offered to share his sheet. By the end of the concert, he'd asked me out and proposed 2 days later.

I also was chatting about The Bottom Drawer, that she'd never heard of, (!) and said that I used to buy a couple of tea towels one week, perhaps some pillowcases the next, but my thrill was buying 2 plates, then 2 side plates, a pudding bowl, 2 dessert bowls, all Pyrex June Rose, but I only had 2 dessert bowls left, and that's cos they were too small for John's appetite and never got used much.

When she gave me the box, she said it was for John and I to open on Christmas Day, when we thought I'd be having dinner with him.

I opened the box, and inside were 4 bubble wrapped packages, as follows:

First package: A laminated photo of carol singers at Trafalgar Square, by the tree, and on the outside was a label TO SET THE MOOD

Second package: Two laminated sheets with the words and music of Hark the Herald Angels Sing, labelled YOUR PLACE MATS

Third package: A cd of Kings College Christmas Carols, labelled LISTEN AND REMEMBER WITH LOVE

Fourth package: 2 June Rose dinner plates, brand new, marked ENJOY YOUR LOVELY DINNER

and on the front of the box IF MUSIC BE THE FOOD LOVE, LISTEN AND ENJOY YOUR DINNER!!

Well, as you can imagine, I sobbed and sobbed. Where on earth did she get a design that was "in" 50 years ago? I know you can get discontinued lines, but we're not relations of hers. The time that must have taken. Kindness from the most unexpected places. I am so humbled. I drove to the Home and dropped off a thank you card to be forwarded, because she's now left and I don't have an address or anything.

I've put the whole thing away, something else I can't deal with just yet, but if nothing else, I've certainly helped the shares for Kleenex Tissues this week.

How absolutely beautiful. Sometimes the kindness of people takes my breath away.

I thought of you on Christmas Day and hoped you were ok xxx

 

[Saffie]

Gosh, what a lovely person this lady must be. The trouble she went to is amazing.
Both you and John were obviously very well liked and highly thought of.
It is a truly wonderful gift. I'm not surprised you were in tears.
Your story is lovely too. x

 

[Trisha4]

Wow! Not only ingenious in the choice of gifts but so very very thoughtful and caring. I'm sure many of us are in tears reading about it so you must have been awash. As always, thinking of you x


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[Scarlett123]

Thank you, as ever, for your lovely messages. I shall always think of Samantha as "June Rose", and it's true, the kindness of strangers is breath taking, when that of ones close friends has often vaporised.

I know "cassettes" are considered antiquated, but when did brides to be stop having a Bottom Drawer? I suppose if they want it, they buy it and run up credit card bills. So, in 2064, what lovely memories could they have?

I used to get untold pleasure saving up for my precious things, and then putting them in the ottoman in my room, and I bet lots of you did the same.

 

[bluejag69]

So sorry to read this Scarlett. Bless you and we are all thinking of you.

Jackie xxx

 

[LYN T]

Scarlett-what a lovely lady to go to so much effort. I also had some lovely presents but what I think we both really need is a big bandage to hold together our broken hearts.

Take care my lovely

Love as always

Lyn T XX

 

[truth24]

Dear Scarlett.

A. What an amazing gift
B. What an amazing carer (and obviously friend)
C. What an amazing way to meet and how romantic. You were both meant to be.
So pleased for you and I can imagine your reaction as I have tears in my eyes reading your post.

Yes, I had a bottom drawer into which items went. Remember particularly embroidering bits and pieces - like pillowcases with F on one and V on the other. We too saved for household items and had just the basics for our first home and the joy of having my first twin tub!! Things were like that in 1964.

I am sorry I can't provide what Lyn asked for, bandages to bind your broken hearts, but know that I would if I could.

Love to you both. Verityxx


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[Scarlett123]

Dear Scarlett.

A. What an amazing gift
B. What an amazing carer (and obviously friend)
C. What an amazing way to meet and how romantic. You were both meant to be.
So pleased for you and I can imagine your reaction as I have tears in my eyes reading your post.

Yes, I had a bottom drawer into which items went. Remember particularly embroidering bits and pieces - like pillowcases with F on one and V on the other. We too saved for household items and had just the basics for our first home and the joy of having my first twin tub!! Things were like that in 1964.

I am sorry I can't provide what Lyn asked for, bandages to bind your broken hearts, but know that I would if I could.

Love to you both. Verityxx


Sent from my GT-N5110

Oh that is so lovely to read of you embroidering pillowcases. I still have a fancy cardboard box, I think it was a chocolate box. We cut a slit in the lid, and when we played cards with my Mum and Dad, for pennies, the winnings would go in the box, and I'd put threepenny bits in there as well.

When we had £1, that was enough to buy a meal for 2 at the new Chinese Restaurant and we usually managed that about once a month or so. A twin tub!! That must have been exciting. I remember when we first had an automatic washing machine, I think it must have been the late 70s, or early 80s, John and I spent several evenings, sitting in the kitchen, watching the washing go round, and nudging each other. He even asked me not to do the washing till he got home from work, so we could Watch Together

 

[cragmaid]

joy of having my first twin tub

...by Verity, you were flush, we could only afford a single tub, ( but it did have an electric mangle on the top)...second hand for £10 in 1971 and sold 5 years later for £10, when we inherited a twin tub from my Auntie.

Scarlett what a wonderfully caring person your " June Rose" must be. A very special soul......even if she did make you cry. I hope today is a good day.x.x.

 

[Radz]

What a beautiful deeply touching ending ... May the next days and weeks fill your heart with joyful precious memories. Best wishes

 

[Scarlett123]

...by Verity, you were flush, we could only afford a single tub, ( but it did have an electric mangle on the top)...second hand for £10 in 1971 and sold 5 years later for £10, when we inherited a twin tub from my Auntie.

Scarlett what a wonderfully caring person your " June Rose" must be. A very special soul......even if she did make you cry. I hope today is a good day.x.x.

June Rose is an absolute saint. I still can't quite believe what she did. I think Verity must have had Rich Relations. I've occupied myself by doing a photo tribute for John, which I hope to have played to Unforgettable by Nat King Cole. After choosing photos, scanning, cropping, lightening, losing the bl**dy lot, and doing it all again, I've got 33 that have lovely memories.

A few of John as a youngster, when we were engaged, married, with the children through the years. Several of us together, John with the grandchildren, one of him with our last dog, and then a few on his own. I've seen these tributes when they put far too many on, and you don't get a chance to look, so as there are 32 bars to Unforgettable which is slow, and the last bar is very slow, this should fit fine.

I need to occupy myself, because waiting for Monday morning and my appointment at the Funeral Directors, is getting to me. I also have had calls, I kid you not, from folk who haven't given a fig about us, for years, saying they Very Much want to come to the funeral but could I take a note of dates they can't do.

I would love to tell them to Go Forth And Multiply, but instead I've said, yes, let me make a note of that, but I won't bother about their blooming sinus operation at all. As long as I'm there, with my son, daughter, son-in-law and English grand-daughter, that's all that matters.

I think some people, who have ignored us, believe that if they attend the funeral, then that makes everything OK. And I also know that the people who matter will be those who are still in touch in a couple of years.

 

[technotronic]

Hello Scarlett being new on here I hope that it's ok if I say how sorry I was for your loss.
He's at peace now n suffering no more, it's not goodbye just adieu for now till you meet again.

 

[truth24]

Can't believe that outsiders want to dictate the date of John's funeral. How dare they I am sure you will give them the consideration they deserve .... none. Your photo album sounds lovely and Nat King Cole's Unforgettable is just right.

No, I don't have Rich Relations! Our twin tub didn't come immediately and only then because Fred's cousin did business with an electrical wholesaler and he managed to get us a hefty discount It was worth saving for because Fred's children from his 1st marriage (my children now after 50 years) came to live with us so drastic measures were needed. Remember going cap in hand to the bank manager at that time to get bedroom furniture for them. Best clothes and butterflies in tums in case we were refused. BUT we only borrowed enough and for that specific purpose. No more borrrowing until that was paid off. A bit different from now when immediate gratification seems to be the name of the game with huge credit card bills as a result. Can't believe the amounts my grandchildren and spouses rack up but then they have an awful lot more income than me! It seems the way of life now.

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[Saffie]

I also have had calls, I kid you not, from folk who haven't given a fig about us, for years, saying they Very Much want to come to the funeral but could I take a note of dates they can't do.

That's appalling! The funeral is arranged according to what you and your family plus the funeral director decide.
I'm afraid I'd take note of the dates and arrange the funeral accordingly.
That is, for one of the dates they can't do.
There again, I'm an awkward so and so and you probably aren't!

We had very little choice anyway. Some people, relatives and friends, my daughter had phoned to say that Dave had died asked her to let them know the date but nobody suggested when they could or couldn't come.
A number we were not expecting turned up too, former teaching colleagues and fellow bowlers, who had heard it on the grapevine or seen it in the local paper.

Your photo tribute sounds wonderful. A lovely celebration of John's life. x

 

[Izzy]

Oh Scarlett, how awful! I'm with Sylvia and would organise it for a date they can't manage if that's at all possible.

Your tribute sounds just perfect. x

 

[2jays]

Oh I can so believe others dictating when it's a suitable time for them to grieve.....

A large lump of grass to them (not sure sod will get passed censor)

Sinus issues pah!!! I have sinus issues and yes they are painful.... But not as painful as their selfish thoughtless remarks are.....

Hugs xxxxx

Edited to say : Oooh it did get passed the censor


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[Saffie]

Oh Scarlett, how awful! I'm with Sylvia and would organise it for a date they can't manage if that's at all possible.

I wouldn't imagine Sylvia would be as awkward as I am Izzy!
Maybe predicitve text again.

 

[jan.s]

I would be too Saffie. I think that is an awful attitude, especially as they haven't bothered with visiting John, but then the old excuse "I couldn't cope with seeing him like that" as if its easy for us

 

[pamann]

Hello Scarlett catching up with your posts, been away for a few days, sounds like you are doing a grand job of your choice of music, and photo's John would be very proud of you, hope all goes well, such a difficult time for you, sending you much love ♡♡♡♡

 

[cragmaid]

I love that Nat King Cole one...Unforgettable..... like John then.

As for the date...a this time of year you almost have to take what you can get..I was reading in the Telegraph, an obituary of someone who died 8th Dec whose service will be on the 12th January 2015.....I wonder how many sinus ops were needed to make that gap so long??

You are holding up quite wonderfully. To have enough nous to think of telling them to give you the dates was a brilliant move....me...I'd have used much more Anglo-Saxon Language, the second word of which would have been...."off" !