Getting help for my mother

Discussion in 'Memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis' started by Sarasa, Apr 14, 2018.

  1. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    44
    Thank you @Rosettastone57. I phoned the radiography department at the hospital where she is due to have the scan to see if they had any suggestions about getting . They said try your GP would like this done, so we're going with that, and it's all routime, no questions asked, no one will know etc and see where that gets us. Both my brother and I think the nurse at the memory clinic could have got mum in if she'd just sat down and started chatting generally. Mum loves to chat and I'm sure she could have persuaded her to have some more formal tests if the nurse had tried being friendly. As it was as soon as she saw mum was refusing she backed off. I didn't think the fact that the nurse told me that dementia would get mentioned was helpful either. That will really give mum the jitters, as she has threatened suicide if anyone tells her she has dementia.
     
  2. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    323
    It's a pity that the nurse obviously thought this was going to be the too difficult box. My husband and I never mentioned the word dementia to MIL just that there were a few memory problems. In fact as she had pre existing mental health problems anyway before the dementia diagnosis we knew she would never have accepted there was anything wrong with her. You are obviously trying your best with your mum . Good luck
     
  3. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    44
    I phoned mum yesterday to tell her about the brain scan booked in for tomorrow. She was more or less OK with the idea. She had one when she had a long-term severe earache and was telling me how the doctor said 'there was nothing there', which made her laugh. Trouble is I think there will probably be a lot less of what should be there this time.
    She was also saying that her best friend told her that she should have talked to the nurse at the memory clinic as it wouldn't have been about remembering, but about working out if she'd had a trauma in her past that was causing her to think the neighbours are stealing stuff. Mum now agrees that she shouldn't have walked out so fingers crossed for next time. She still thinks the neighbours are doing stuff though, and we are all naive to think otherwise.
    She went and had another row with them yesterday. Yesterdays accusation was that they had spread make-up all over her bed. I've seen a teeshirt of mum's covered in make-up and along with furniture moved around that mum also thinks the neighbours do, I'm assuming mum does stuff without realsiing what she's up to.
    Mum also mentioned that she'd cooked her diner wrong and it wasn't very nice, I really think we are goig to have to insist she has some help in.
     
  4. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    44
    #24 Sarasa, Jun 7, 2018
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2018
    Well yesterday was a bit of a success and got mum for a brain scan. She was fine about it all. She didn't seem to connect it with the memory clinic appointment last week. We then went for lunch which she enjoyed, though her stories are becoming more and more disconected and confused.
    Today my brother has had her on the phone going on about debit cards being deliberately 'moved'. They were found so no harm done. She told him she went to the local locksmiths and enquired about a £7,000 security system. Brother's phoned the company and explained and they understood, phew.
    He's also phoned her GP and asked that they phone him or me about the results rather than mum, though I guess seeing a consultant is probably next on the list of things towards getting a diagnosis.
     
  5. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    44
    I went to visit mum today and though a bit woolly and vague was pretty good for mum recently. I left her going off to do a bit of shopping. Just had a phone call she'd lost her keys. They are in her flat somewhere I know as she's in there at the moment. She is of course convinced the neighbours have got them. It sounds heartless but there is no way I'm going to travel on public transport for ninty minutes plus (two trains and a bus) to find them for her. I've told her to keep searching and if she still can't find them ask one of neighbours she does trust to have a look for her. Mum has very poor eyesight so if they've dropped somewhere I can understand she might not be able to find them. I have promised to go over tomorrow if they still haven't turned up.
    And she didn't to go shopping. I left her a minutes walk from Marks and Spencer but she forgot to go in as she felt she had to get home to do some washing.
     

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