Fathers Paranoia… Help!

[Rowan23]

Hello All,
My first post, I have been reading the forum a couple of weeks now which has helped massively. I thought I would post a quick snippet of my situation and if anybody could offer some advice.
My dad was diagnosed with Dementia this year and for the last 3 months or more has been obsessing about “People in cars”. He has this odd perception that car drivers are “after him” and when ever I take him out in the car he is paranoid that other road users are following us, or should I say my dad in particular. He has confronted so many people recently for example: one of his neighbours had family round, who arrived in cars and my dad confronted them aggresively telling them to go back to where they came from, ranting and raving.
He has been prescribed Quetiapene, which seems to help for half of the day, before the paranoia returns later in the afternoon.
However, my dad has been coming out with some concerning comments like “He wants to bash these peoples heads in” or “take a knife to them”. Im really concerned about the comments as he gets really aggressive when talking about this faceless enemy of his. He has a dementia case worker, and hes on his best behaviour when he comes to visit so I dont think he realises how bad he can get.
Im becoming concerned that somebody may come to harm when I see the agression he has for people. I really dont know what to do for the best if anyone could offer any advice or share their experience of similar issue :’(

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hello @Rowan23 and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am so sorry to read about your dad's paranoia. It is quite common in people with dementia but from your description your dad's paranoia seems to be really extreme. Because he seems to be worse in the afternoons it is also possible that your dad is sundowning.
Although your dad has a dementia case worker they are not doctors and I really feel that you need to go back to whoever prescribed the Quetiapene and tell them what you have described here. Please do this as a matter of urgency.
If you ever feel in any danger yourself get out of the house and call the police, they are trained to deal with cases like this. Please also always keep a fully charged mobile phone with you.
Keep posting to let us know how you are getting on.

 

[Rowan23]

Thank you for the reply @SeaSwallow, I will be speaking to them in the morning. I kind of feel like ive held back in telling the case worker about the severity of my dads outbursts. I have mentioned about the paranoia many times, and the case worker has witnessed it for themselves. However, he doesnt know my dad has mentioned that he wants to knife people and I feel really torn. Id be mortified if anybody came to harm, but I also think its just words and he wouldnt really act upon them.
Im just really struggling with it all.

 

[SeaSwallow]

@Rowan23 I can understand why you are reluctant to go into detail about what your dad has been saying but you really need to if he is to get the help he needs.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

If your father believes these things are happening, who knows what he might do? Please seek urgent help.

 

[Chizz]

Hi @Rowan23
From what you have said, maybe the dosage of meds is not enough if its effects wear off during the day.
To keep a record of what and when he says things that concern you and/or a note of the behaviours would be v helpful in any chat you now need to have with the mental health dementia case worker and the GP.
Obsessions etc are mot uncommon.
You may need to hide knives or other things that may become weapons if you think your dad would actually act on what he says.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @Rowan23.

I can only echo the advice of others. You really need to seek medical advice - and keep yourself safe.

I’m glad you’ve found this forum. Keep coming here for support and understanding.

 

[GiantPanda88]

My mum went through a paranoia phase and the gp was less than helpful, just said it was anxiety based and to keep taking dementia meds. It never led to a safety issue but unchecked it may have.

Fast forward 3yrs and mums dementia had deteriorated in many other ways to the point the mental health crisis team were called in. It helped though as they realised her dementia had progressed to needing anti psychotic meds which I’m told are common for treating moderate to severe dementia.

Definitely tell all the professionals available to you of your father’s comments and actions. It may be small and infrequent for you but it builds up a pattern to help track the progression. There are also signs they’ll look out for which you’re not aware of.

If you have difficulty saying it you could maybe write it down. Keep to the fact and what you observe. Try to avoid justifying or rationalising the events.

 

[Rowan23]

Hey All,
Just checking in, I contacted my dads case worker and they have decided to up the frequency of visits to “Intensive visits” meaning every night. They will be checking hes taking his medication amongst other things. They came tonight whilst I was there! However, my dad being the stubborn character he is, refuses to take the quetiapine tablets infront of anybody. Although he swears blind that hes taking them we cannot be certain.
Ive read this a lot on this forum, but my dad turns on the charm as soon as anyone new comes into the house, to the point where I was second guessing wether I had over reacted. I realise that this is a common trait though, and he can equally revert back to type in an instant. Had a really bad day with him again today too, the paranoia was extreme.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Hey All,
Just checking in, I contacted my dads case worker and they have decided to up the frequency of visits to “Intensive visits” meaning every night. They will be checking hes taking his medication amongst other things. They came tonight whilst I was there! However, my dad being the stubborn character he is, refuses to take the quetiapine tablets infront of anybody. Although he swears blind that hes taking them we cannot be certain.
Ive read this a lot on this forum, but my dad turns on the charm as soon as anyone new comes into the house, to the point where I was second guessing wether I had over reacted. I realise that this is a common trait though, and he can equally revert back to type in an instant. Had a really bad day with him again today too, the paranoia was extreme.

I am pleased that the case worker is taking the issues with your dad seriously, they would not be carrying out nightly checks if they were not. It is not so good however if you are not sure that he is taking his meds.

You have not over reacted, many PWDs can, as you say, 'turn on the charm' as if there is nothing wrong with them. It is called 'hosting' or 'showtiming' and it can fool professionals or other family members into thinking that there is nothing wrong with the PWD. However they cannot keep this up for long as soon revert back as you saw.

 

[Rowan23]

Thank you once again @SeaSwallow. It really is such a shame that my dad has an aversion to the medication, as it feels like its our only hope for immediate relief. The case worker has said we are going to try everything we can in terms of making sure my dads paranoia is under control. But that the last resort could be a mental ward

 

[SeaSwallow]

Thank you once again @SeaSwallow. It really is such a shame that my dad has an aversion to the medication, as it feels like it’s our only hope for immediate relief. The case worker has said we are going to try everything we can in terms of making sure my dads paranoia is under control. But that the last resort could be a mental ward

The case worker probably meant sectioning your dad. I know that it sounds awful but it means that the doctors can work with various antipsychotic medications to try to stabilise the person with dementia. A number of our members loved ones have been sectioned with good results.
The case worker does seem to be on the ball, which is good. Take care of yourself and keep posting, even just to let off steam.