Must be the weather or something but I've had one of those days too. Not helped by the fact that I had a bad night so am less able to deal with it. I think the lack of empathy is one of the worst aspects of this disease. I miss sitting down & talking things through like we always used to. My whole world revolves around my OH and God forbid we don't do what he wants when he wants. If we don't I'll be made to suffer. I feel mentally battered and bruised. It's the endless drudgery of it all & never any thanks but rather being told everything is my fault. Like many others on TP like it or not I am in an abusive relationship. If it wasn't for this horrible disease my OH could be prosecute for the way he treats me. I know it's not his fault and my pre dementia husband would be horrified by it but it doesn't make it any easier. Still tomorrow is another day & I can only hope it's better than today.
Hi. Sitting here tonight, aware that my husband needs changing...... he can’t stand or co operate now, and how is it that this always happens immediately after the carers and me have wrestled him into,bed.....
He has elements of Parkinson’s, so is stiff and seems non cooperative, when in fact he thinks he is helping, on the contrary, whichever I need him to move he resists and tries to push the other way.......
Tomorrow after a damaged shoulder(mine) he is going into to a nursing home, as an “emergency admission for review in situ.” Due to “carer breakdown”
Note the quote marks, The emergency was two, nearly three weeks ago, and is only happening now because I have learned a new language, and in fact begun a new career. Social Worker! Pity I don’t get paid for it
Simply, lack of staff, talk to one person on Monday and on Tuesday. They are on leave or sick or moved
So I found out about this, I found out who,the funding panel consisted f, I found an available bed, I liased with the nursing home. I repeated the information, the contact numbers, the way to do th8 gs, for example, the funding angel can authorise a draft purchase order at any time, do not have to wait for a particular meeting day, (whilst in the meantime the bed is gone) etc., etc.,
So success! My lovely husband will have proper care, attention, someone to talk to who won’t end up screaming at him to. “Move, no don t push me away”. Etc etc.
I won’t hear abuse, aggression swear words that I didn’t even know the meaning of! And that I have never in half a century heard him use, won’t be told to p**** off when offering a brew or be told you never do anything for me anyway...... Our Golden Wedding this year, my birthday today, I am 71. And tired.
So it’s a win? Is it?
So why do I fell so sad, and why am I crying?