Does anyone have any tips?

[Whiskers184]

My mother in law has almost no short term memory now. She has a mobile phone which she can still occasionally use. She keeps it in her pocket and tends to switch it off if she’s not using it. We have tried telling her not to switch it off and left prompt notes to try and remind her but unfortunately these days she doesn’t really notice the notes or associate them with anything. it’s not just the phone, it’s pretty much anything now. Should we just accept that prompts don’t work any?

 

[Louise7]

Hello @Whiskers184 I think it does sound as though your mother in law is sadly now past the stage when prompting will help. My mum had a very simple mobile phone but like your mother in law kept switching it off, and she also switched off the charger if we plugged it in. She said that she didn't want to waste the electric. We tried various things to help with the problem such as message boards and electronic reminders, but nothing helped. Mum got to the stage when any kind of prompting by way of notes, reminders etc just didn't work any more so we accepted that there was no point in us keeping trying as everyone was getting frustrated. Sorry I don't have any tips for you but others might have some suggestions.

 

[SherwoodSue]

Mum sometimes struggles with the comms tech we have in place. She has a Nest camera which has a Mike function which I don’t usually use. Once in desperation I did use it to say clearly, your daughter is trying to speak to you. Switch on the phone. It did work but for a while she walked around the house looking for me.

 

[Whiskers184]

Thanks SherwoodSue and Louise7! Yes I think you’re right and we’ll have to accept that prompts and notes won’t work anymore. I just bought a whiteboard, but she doesn’t look at it or understand instructions now.

 

[emn306]

I often take cookies and snacks to my sister in assisted living. They wind up on her bedside table which she can't see when lying in bed; so she forgets them. Every time I visit, I remind her. I even pulled her nightstand away from the wall so she could see it but the staff had to move it back. Notes don't help her either.

 

[Chizz]

My mother in law has almost no short term memory now. She has a mobile phone which she can still occasionally use. She keeps it in her pocket and tends to switch it off if she’s not using it. We have tried telling her not to switch it off and left prompt notes to try and remind her but unfortunately these days she doesn’t really notice the notes or associate them with anything. it’s not just the phone, it’s pretty much anything now. Should we just accept that prompts don’t work any?

Hi @Whiskers184
It is common, in my limited experience, for a PWD dementia to start to have memory problems, so they often write notes to themselves. Then they have difficulty writing clearly. Then they have difficulty reading the notes. Then they have difficulty remembering what's in the notes. Then they have difficulty remembering there is a note. Then they stop writing notes. Then they stop writing anything or lose control of pen or pencil. They lose interest in reading because they can't remember what they've read, so they stop reading.
My OH has forgotten how to use a phone - both in answering a phone or making a call. She doesn't know where her phone is, which makes no difference because even if she knew where it is, or actually what it is, she doesn't know how to use it anyway.
Prompts and reminders stop working.
My wife has forgotten how to open our front door and thus, the good thing is (and you always have to look for and think of the good and positive side of everything if you can!) that she won't wander off out of the house.
You have to learn to accept that it is as it is.
Best wishes

 

[SherwoodSue]

What a sad and perfect description of the journey. So sad when what used to work doesn’t work anymore
Thank you for posting whiskers

 

[Whiskers184]

Hi @Whiskers184
It is common, in my limited experience, for a PWD dementia to start to have memory problems, so they often write notes to themselves. Then they have difficulty writing clearly. Then they have difficulty reading the notes. Then they have difficulty remembering what's in the notes. Then they have difficulty remembering there is a note. Then they stop writing notes. Then they stop writing anything or lose control of pen or pencil. They lose interest in reading because they can't remember what they've read, so they stop reading.
My OH has forgotten how to use a phone - both in answering a phone or making a call. She doesn't know where her phone is, which makes no difference because even if she knew where it is, or actually what it is, she doesn't know how to use it anyway.
Prompts and reminders stop working.
My wife has forgotten how to open our front door and thus, the good thing is (and you always have to look for and think of the good and positive side of everything if you can!) that she won't wander off out of the house.
You have to learn to accept that it is as it is.
Best wishes

@Chizz, your description about the notes describes my m-i-l perfectly, she’s at the stage of not being able to read her own notes or forgetting that she’s written one. At the moment she’s just cross with us for everything, but we get by . Thanks for your reply

 

[Chizz]

@Chizz, your description about the notes describes my m-i-l perfectly, she’s at the stage of not being able to read her own notes or forgetting that she’s written one. At the moment she’s just cross with us for everything, but we get by . Thanks for your reply

Well @Whiskers184 a PWD knows there is nothing wrong with themselves, so whatever is wrong, must be your fault. Keep getting by!