Does anybody have experience of an Attended Hearing at COP??

[Saffie]

Both Jan's and Lyn's points are very valid.
As I said, I'm just putting myself in your shoes and thinking how I would feel.

I have to say though that I don't know why, if it comes out in court, and the court take a dim view of it, it would work in your sister's favour. I would have thought the opposite was true.

Definitely, remain on the right side of the law.

 

[jan.s]

Both Jan's and Lyn's points are very valid.
As I said, I'm just putting myself in your shoes and thinking how I would feel.

I have to say though that I don't know why, if it comes out in court, and the court take a dim view of it, it would work in your sister's favour. I would have thought the opposite was true.

Definitely, remain on the right side of the law.

I've just reread my post and agree it does read that way. What I meant was, if it came out in court that TMB had emailed the other interested parties the court could take a dim view. It could be construed as interfering with witnesses.

 

[LYN T]

Ooops! that what I meant as well!

 

[jan.s]

Ooops! that what I meant as well!

We knew what we meant, didn't we Lyn.

Hope you're doing OK. J X

 

[Saffie]

Oh, right. Thought it seemed strange!
Then again, what do I know!

 

[care2share]

Hi TMB, exactly what decision is being made in court next month, is it a decision as to where mum will live and who she will have contact with or is it to further your sisters application to have deputyship? It does seem strange to me that the Police have put hold on investigations into the alleged fraud as the findings of this investigation would be crucial to the decisions being made in that court room next month. I gather there would not be time enough for these investigations to come to any conclusions before the hearing date but it does seem logical that they should know that there is an investigation on going. I fear that on some occasions one does not get the chance to say all that one would like to say in court, sometimes being restricted to Yes No answers. On a matter slightly removed from the immediate one, I'm wondering if it is truly necessary for anyone to have deputyship at all. would it be possible to just tick over on being appointee, especially if there is no property to be sold or let or any other major expenses to be paid? Perhaps it could be postponed as I feel this too would not be a good experience and almost certainly feel like just another intrusion in your life. whatever happens, I wish you luck and eagerly await the time we hear you have peace of mind. I know what you're going through. My own Mum is banged up in a nursing home with a DoLS on her, with authorities telling us what we may and may not do with our own Mum, all in the name of her "best interests".

 

[Grannie G]

This is a gentle reminder to members to be careful of posting too much information when legal matters are being discussed. However anonymous a user name is , too much detail could identify the case in question and affect any outcome.

The Dementia Helpline might be the best next port of call for confidential advice.

http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/faq.php?faq=resources#faq_resources_helpline

You can contact our helpline by calling 0300 222 1122 or by email at helpline@alzheimers.org.uk.

The helpline is usually open from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday, and from 10am - 4pm at weekends. However, the service may be closed occasionally during these times for operational reasons.

 

[tryingmybest]

I'm sorry Grannie G but I thought this forum was for help and advise and to get things off ones chest? I wont post anymore.

 

[canary]

Dont stop posting TMB. These forums are indeed to help you de-stress (and Im sure you have enough stress on your plate) - but do bear in mind that these are open forums that anybody can read and if you give too much detail then you and your case could be identified. Just talk in generalities OK?

 

[Grannie G]

Sorry tryingmybest. This was not a criticism .

When I first came to the internet I had no idea how open to the world my posts were. It`s not called the world wide web for nothing.

As canary advised, please keep posting but use general terms rather than specifics.

I hope you try the Helpline. Their help might differ to the help offered by fellow members. It will be another avenue.

I do hope it all gets sorted eventually.

 

[care2share]

No, please don't stop posting. We are all keen to know that you and your Mum achieve peace of mind. I'm new to TP myself but I dare say it is possible you could delete the precise date of the hearing from a previous post. We hope to hear from you soon.

 

[tryingmybest]

Sorry I'm just such an open and honest person I'm not the sort to hold back anything and was just trying to put everything down!

Again, nothing back from the solicitors I called yesterday so as I thought it will be me against the world on the day with no support!! Very disappointing.

I had already decided against contacting the other parties. Thank you everyone for your input on that.

Jan S. I requested 3 times for a change of venue as it doesn't suit anyone but they are still insisting its held there.

Will try and phone Cop again today and try and get more advice.

 

[jan.s]

Your honesty will be a virtue when speaking in court, so don't regret it. Remember judges are used to being lied to, but they won't be manipulated and take a stance against anyone who tries to lie or cover up as with your sister.

Sometimes we need to be careful what we put on the web, because as others have said, it is open to everyone to read. You haven't given away any names though.

Having asked for the venue to be changed with no luck, I guess that is something you will just have to accept.

I am sorry that the solicitors didn't phone back, in my experience they can be very slow in doing so. They called me back on the night before the hearing!

In the COP, I would imagine that many people represent themselves for financial reasons, and, as I have said previously, the judge isn't hard on "non-legal" people (he expects legal people to know the rules ). He will ask questions and listen to representations from both parties; be calm, truthful and never interrupt even of you hear your sister telling untruths, you will have your chance to speak.

Take a notepad with you to make notes of on anything that you want to question, probably from your sister's words!

As Grannie G has suggested, I found the Alzheimers helpline very knowledgeable and helpful. They gave me certain phrases to use too, which helped a lot. e.g. respecting human rights.

I think that, although you will be nervous on the day, you will surprise yourself as to how strong you can be when your mum's safety and welfare is at risk.

J x

 

[tryingmybest]

Thank you Jan.

Called another solicitor today but not interested. Phoned SS to see if they had thought anymore about their decision to not send in a report or be involved as they did say they would phone yesterday. Alas, they didn't even bother returning my call today. Hopeless!!

Called the helpline today and the lady was very nice but said from the sound of it I've covered everything but that she really couldn't see my sister getting her own way in the light of what has gone on and was surprised it's got this far.

Just very down that its me against the world or so it seems. Xx

 

[jan.s]

I know it's hard as thoughts of the case fill every waking hour, but please try to move it back just a little for the next few days. It sounds as if you have done everything you can for now, so try to think of nice things until 2 days before the COP, then read through your information so its fresh in your mind.

Enjoy some special time with your mum over the next week or so - pop out somewhere together maybe? Just some thoughts.

 

[In a Whirl]

Hi TMB,

Just some thoughts.
1.Re bringing up the financial situation. Just remember to be careful on your choice of words at the hearing. Basic tenet of the law innocent till proven guilty. Any allegations are just that (works both ways) unless proven by the evidence.

2.Social Services may simply wish to be neutral as there is a COP hearing.

3.Police maybe reluctant to investigate the financial situation as there was no proof of mental incapacity at the time.....or has your sister shot herself in the foot by getting a declaration from the GP?

4. Ask COP helpline whether your travel expenses can be claimed.

5. Re Solicitors. Basically they need to be paid. Average legal cost of COP hearings with barrister/solicitor is £10,000 I understand. You may not qualify for legal aid (have you checked?) but your Mum might. Therefore the next solicitor you talk to needs to explore whether the defence/case could be mounted in your Mother's name with you representing her interests.

6.Do not be surprised if there are 2 or more hearings. This can happen if the Judge needs further information or requests assessments.

 

[Pickles53]

I don't think legal aid is available for these types of hearings regardless of anyone's financial eligibility. Since the introduction of the Legal Aid, Punishment, and Sentencing of Offenders Act (LASPO) a couple of years ago, legal aid for civil matters is extremely limited.

 

[In a Whirl]

An appeal against a DOLS order by a patient automatically qualifies for Legal Aid. I realise that is not the case here but you wont know unless you ask.

 

[tryingmybest]

Thanks for your replies. I haven't been on for a couple of days. Now have legal help and should get legal aid but it may not come through in time for hearing!! I've emailed if this is the case can the hearing be vacated again. Its like an emotional rollercoaster. They've said its best they represent me and the Courts Official Solicitor represent Mum but I don't understand how that works when they dont know her!! I've started doing EFT tapping technique to try and relieve my anxiety. Dont know if it works but I've got to do something!! I've also had threatening text message from one of the "interested parties". Just horrible.Also my fiancés mum was rushed into hospital night before last and his Dad is in pieces and then I had to have my dog put to sleep as well last week. Why is all this happening to me? Feel as though the devil is on my back or something!! I must remain strong but its really tough at the mo. xx

 

[LYN T]

Good to hear from you again. I'm sorry your problems have increased even further-you are having such a horrible time. I've no idea if you can reschedule the hearing -but best to try. I hope you haven't deleted that text message? Threats should always be reported to the Police-perhaps you could think about that?

I hope your partner's Mum takes a turn for the better; you must be so torn between supporting him and looking after your Mum. I'm very sorry to read about your dog; you must miss him/her very much. I can only hope that when this is all over you will get some semblance of peace back in your life.

Love

Lyn T XX

P S well done for getting legal advice