Do I have memory issues? Am I over reacting?

[JackWilmslow]

Hello all, I am new to this forum, however I am looking for advice.

I am starting to get worried about my memory. I am 29 years old male, and I work in a call center for a telecoms company.

Recently, my friend is insistent that he has told me stuff, given me money he owes to me. This has got to the point where I think my memory is effected, as I just don't remember. I can remember pretty much everything when he comes over, what he was wearing, what we where talking about, what the weather is like. But however he says things to me that I have absolutely no recollection off.

However this only happens when I am around him. If people ask me to do something, I do it. I remember things about my job most of the dept forget.

I like to read, and very interested in science, I remember what people where wearing on specific days. I remember things about my childhood my mother doesn't even remember.

However when I am around him, it always me who is the one forgetting stuff.

It has gotten to the point where i'm getting depressed, and frustrated and upset.

I was a regular user of cannabis a fair few years ago. Now its a once in a blue moon socially. Im not a heavy drinker. maybe a pint a month if that. I read alot of text books and factual based reading. I try and eat healthy food, quite partial to salads at work, and soup and stuff. I may not exercise as much as I should, but I do get out and walk alot.

Am I over reacting? Do you think I could have a problem with my memory?

I just don't know anymore.

 

[jenniferpa]

Welcome to Talking Point

To be honest, I think you have less trouble with your memory and more trouble with your "friend". If you only seem to have issues with your memory as it relates to things he has said or done, then I would say it's more likely he's playing games at your expense.

Never say never of course, because there are some vary early onset dementias but if it only happens with this one person I do think you can probably get rid of the problem by getting rid of him.

 

[Tess810home]

It does seem strange that you only appear to have these memory problems when around this 'friend'. I would suggest you lose the friend and see if your 'memory problems' disappear...if they do, you have your answer.

If memory problems persist (which somehow I doubt), see your GP, just to be on the safe side.

In the meantime, if you do persist in this 'friendship'...please do not get involved in any financial arrangements. The problem, as suggested above, may be with your friend and not you.

 

[JackWilmslow]

Thank you for your response.

Please do not take an offense with this, but I find this hard to stomach.

I have been friends with this person for many years, he has done alot for me. However this issue with remembering things has been pretty prevalent for a while. I am the sort of person to blame myself for alot of things.

I want to be sure before I confront him about it.

I dont have many friends, however I really care about the ones I have.

Is there something I can do to rule out myself? Is there a sort of test?

I mean Hell, I do forget things at times, I get bombarded with minutia on a daily basis, so I do filter out alot. However when it comes to important things (sending letters, meeting appointments, that sort of thing) I am on the ball. Unless I over sleep

 

[jenniferpa]

There's the MMSE (mini mental state exam) but I think you'd need someone else to administer it.

I'm wondering if this started as a joke on his part which has now gone too far and he's embarrassed to admit it. Pretty rubbish joke in my opinion but...

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Jack and welcome to TP.

If you are worried I believe you should see your GP. Perhaps keep a few notes of what has been happening, much as you have done here, so that you can take them with you.

It seems you do have some memory problems but that does not mean you have 'dementia'. There are many reasons for memory loss. It could be your drug use has affected you or indeed your brain is filtering away the trivia (mine does that regularly).

It may reassure you to know that at your age it is unlikely you have an Alzheimer/Vascular Dementia type disease. It does happen but very very rare.

Please get off to see the GP and depending on what he says you may want to have a heart to heart talk with your friend (if you trust him enough).

Best wishes

 

[Jancis]

Hi Jack,
I'm wondering if you are distracted by stress or depression at the present time. This can cause havoc with remembering incidental every day stuff. As an employer of young people I could always tell when they were not happy as their performance was way below their usual levels. This applies to people of any age of course but I just thought I'd mention it. I employed people who were very creative and they often forgot what they had been working on after a month or two whereas I recalled everything in detail as I was project managing them. It never occurred to me that they had memory problems, I put it down to them having too much going on in their personal lives and over-challenging themselves at work. Sorry if this isn't very helpful. It may help you if you keep a daily diary for a while to track incidents or events?

 

[FifiMo]

If I were you, then i'd get a diary and i would get used to using it, if nothing else as a prompt for you to "remember" things. Make notes of incidents, things others tell you, what you friend tells you too. If your friend says i gave you your money back last friday for example, you could refer back to the notes in your diary. On the other hand, such a diary would be a good tool for you to review to see if there are any patterns there that might indicate memory problems. If you find this is the case, then you can take the diary to your GP with you and show them what your concerns are and the patterns over a period of time.

I find it interesting that the memory problems only seem to exist around this one friend, so I have 2 questions for you...(a) is this because he is being honest with you and your other friends don't feel comfortable with discussing such issues with you or (b) could it be your friend is either winding you up and doesn't realise how seriously you've taken all this or is he being economical with the truth at times, knowing that you are now concerned about your memory?

When you get your diary, it might be interesting to have a discussion with other people around you and ask them if they have any comments about your being forgetful - if they have then make a note of them for future reference.

And lastly, don't let this get out of proportion either, because stress alone can cause everyone to have erratic memories problems.

Fiona

 

[snedds57]

why not try an online cognitive test...this one was posted up a few months back.

http://www.foodforthebrain.org/content.asp?id_Content=1820


although we all agreed that these things are a bit arbitrary.

You could always ask your friend if he is winding you up...cos if he is the joke isn't funny any more!!

Just edited the post because the link wasn't working! And forgot also that the test is designed for 50 - 70 yr olds!! That would, I think affect the results!

 

[Drew]

hi

hi just read your post and wanted to put you at ease a bit as i am 34 and this is what i have posted.......

hi all im a 34 year old man with a busy but happy life the only problem is that i have trouble recalling memories.

for instance my sister was talking about her wedding and i said "oh i cant remember i dont think i was there" but my brother in law reminded me that i was there cause i was best man!!! and it was only 5 year ago

i went for a walk with my wife and son down the woods and we came to a cross road i said what way should we go and my wife said lets go right we went left last time. i replied to here i have never been here before and she went on to tell me about our visist there a few year ago but i could not recall a thing!!!

my sisters and brother constantly say can you remember when we..... and i never can
my wife says can you remember when we....... no not a thing

my short term memory is not too good either im forever fighting with the wife because she will say i told you to take out the rubbish or move that item or dont forget to pick up something from the shop but i can never remember her saying it but its not a lie because my son will back her up... oh and its not like i forget either i just dont remember at all

i have a job that requires me to be very busy and have a lot on my mind but i dont seem to have to much of a problem there but the funny thing is that i dont know how long i have had this problem for so cant say if its work stress or not. oh and to top things off i always forget my lunch and my wife will phone me and tell me it on the table at home........going hungry again

am i going crazy

 

[Jancis]

Hi Drew,
Sorry you are feeling so low, I have replied to your thread in the Tea Room.
Best wishes,
Jancis x

 

[greenengland]

Welcome to Talking Point

To be honest, I think you have less trouble with your memory and more trouble with your "friend". If you only seem to have issues with your memory as it relates to things he has said or done, then I would say it's more likely he's playing games at your expense.

Never say never of course, because there are some vary early onset dementias but if it only happens with this one person I do think you can probably get rid of the problem by getting rid of him.

Totally agree.....that is my take on this