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Dementia’s journey

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
942
0
73
Devon
Thanks everyone for your support. You are the best of the best. I should rest easy knowing that she’s well looked after but when we see the ones we love so much, even when there’s no response back, looking scared and emotional, well, it hit me hard. It took something like this be able to hold her hand, touch her face, kiss her forehead after 9 months. i was surprised they let me in. She was tested as i was.

I’ll write tomorrow when i know more

all my loving kindness to you, Peter
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,550
0
69
Dundee
I’m so sorry to hear about Bridget’s fall . Thinking of you both and wishing Bridget a good and speedy recovery.
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,560
0
Thanks everyone for your support. You are the best of the best. I should rest easy knowing that she’s well looked after but when we see the ones we love so much, even when there’s no response back, looking scared and emotional, well, it hit me hard. It took something like this be able to hold her hand, touch her face, kiss her forehead after 9 months. i was surprised they let me in. She was tested as i was.

I’ll write tomorrow when i know more

all my loving kindness to you, Peter
Thank you Peter, love and thoughts to you. will be thinking of you and hoping to hear.
With love, Kindredx
 

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
329
0
Central Scotland
Thanks everyone for your support. You are the best of the best. I should rest easy knowing that she’s well looked after but when we see the ones we love so much, even when there’s no response back, looking scared and emotional, well, it hit me hard. It took something like this be able to hold her hand, touch her face, kiss her forehead after 9 months. i was surprised they let me in. She was tested as i was.

I’ll write tomorrow when i know more

all my loving kindness to you, Peter
What Strange times we live in. I had 10 days of unlimited visiting sitting with Ian - hand holding, mopping his brow, feeding him icecream, wetting his lips, etc. while he was in hospital. They even provided a reclining chair so that I could nap when he did. I used the time to tell him how much I loved him and thank him for our nearly 55 years together. I played his own music and he seemed to respond - tapping his feet and hands.
So, Peter, you must make the most of this precious spell, when you are able to show your care and love and feel useful again. Hopefully, Bridget will recover and return to her Care Home, but then there will be a period of Quarantine for her and it may be months before you have the opportunity to be close by her again. Sending (((HUGS))) to you both.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
942
0
73
Devon
What Strange times we live in. I had 10 days of unlimited visiting sitting with Ian - hand holding, mopping his brow, feeding him icecream, wetting his lips, etc. while he was in hospital. They even provided a reclining chair so that I could nap when he did. I used the time to tell him how much I loved him and thank him for our nearly 55 years together. I played his own music and he seemed to respond - tapping his feet and hands.
So, Peter, you must make the most of this precious spell, when you are able to show your care and love and feel useful again. Hopefully, Bridget will recover and return to her Care Home, but then there will be a period of Quarantine for her and it may be months before you have the opportunity to be close by her again. Sending (((HUGS))) to you both.

No return to being next to her in hospital I’m afraid as I’m not allowed to enter the ward. I’m just waiting now for some more news of her condition as she’s not swallowing at the moment. I’m ring at 3 this afternoon ( it’s now 1.30 ) . Just when I was getting used to the routine of her in the home and me doing a visit this happens.

How do you cope with the worry of Ian being ill and never knowing how things are going to plan out? You must be so much stronger than me. I’m pretty weak and pathetic really when it comes to this.

I feel so helpless not being able to do anything and imagine and worry what the outcome of this will be and can I handle it.

Anyway, all the best to you and virtual hugs xx
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,136
0
High Peak
Sorry to hear this Peter.

I went through a similar thing with my mum - we will never know if the bleed on the brain caused her fall or vice versa. Mum was in the earlier stages when it happened and was undiagnosed, living independently but things were going wrong all over the place as she started to struggle. Unfortunately she went from hospital straight to a care home as the cognitive damage was immense.

BUT... she did recover from the bleed to the extent that she was 'well' and was able to walk/talk and still recognise me even though her memories vanished overnight. And she was fine for at least the next couple of years till the dementia advanced and finally took her life.

We all know what the eventual outcome will be but I wanted to offer you some hope that this may not be the catastrophe you fear...

Thinking of you...
 

JohnGroban

Registered User
Oct 28, 2020
121
0
Peter, my heart goes out to you, pal.
Be strong. I don't know you, but I can say that everyone here on the forum is thinking of you.
Be strong, pal, we are with you.
 

Lirene

Registered User
Sep 15, 2019
242
0
Peter, please don’t let your imagination and fear get the better of you. Try to stay strong and be focused, whatever the outcome you will get through this - we are all thinking of you both and praying for the best outcome. My prayers and blessings xx
 

big l

Registered User
Aug 15, 2015
69
0
So sorry to hear about Bridget's fall. Don't ever forget how many friends you have on here to hold your hand, keep posting.
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
942
0
73
Devon
They’re keeping her in one more night but they tell me she’s walking around, confused of course but drinking and has eaten. Phew, that sounds better but who knows what will be different.

Im certain that without all your help and support and loving friendship i would never have been to be able to get through any of this. once again thanks a million

Peter
 

Woo2

Registered User
Apr 30, 2019
3,300
0
South East
That is good news Peter , I am relieved for you both . You would get through it but it’s nice to have support . Take care
 

Lirene

Registered User
Sep 15, 2019
242
0
Our prayers have been answered. Try and sleep now Peter, let your mind rest. My prayers and thanks to the Lord xx
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
942
0
73
Devon
i don’t necessarily need any replies, i just want to get my thoughts out. i’ve woken up and it’s another day not knowing what the future holds. Bridget had a stroke that caused her to have that fall. I believe that to be the case although the doctor could not be certain. She’s still in hospital under observation and who knows what the outcome will be for our futures. I hate the thought that Bridget is suffering so and that she is so frightened and disoriented in hospital. But even if i was there, even if I was able to hold her she doesn’t respond to me but i see her as the one i love. What a mixed up bunch of emotions. So apart from looking after the practical side of things i’m redundant.

I imagine her being in the last stages of her life. i’m anticipating her next stroke and it could be her last and then we’re into palliative care and me just waiting for her to die. And when she’s gone what then? I don’t see any future without her and I can’t get emotionally attached to anyone again, i don’t know if i could go through this again. I can’t imagine loving anyone like Bridget and, anyway, it wouldn’t be fair to someone if you can’t give all your love.

And then i think i’m being selfish as i know many of us are experiencing the same feeling and why should I be different. Why do i think my feelings are that special? But i have nowhere else to turn to but to you. My family and friends are there, sure, but none have experienced this. Counselling if finished and the Samaritans are limited in advice.

So now what? I just don’t know. I don’t know if i’m strong enough to soldier on day after day feeling Bridget’s distress, anticipating her deterioration, wanting against hope for her to be just content. I would swap places with her in a heartbeat as she would have a richer life than me with her children.

As i said, this is me getting it out to a place where it’s the only place i have. Bless you all, Peter
 
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