Dealing with personality changes and mood swings

[Oufan]

Hello all ,
My OH has been really nasty recently and says he wants to live alone and not with me ( after 40years of marriage) He did everything and was a wonderful husband and father to our 5 children, but they are all grown up now and moved away. I’m taking care of him 24/7 and it’s so difficult as he’s young 65yrs and we’ve both worked all our lives and we’re always planning a nice retirement full of travelling etc
This has all come as a big shock to all the family. Kids have taken it really hard seeing their father change so much from being a loveable , active fun loving person to a grumpy , bad tempered.
Any advice on how I can deal with his personality change and keep myself from getting ill with stress.
Thanks

 

[SherwoodSue]

So sorry this is happening to you. Do you have a diagnosis yet ? If so how long ago ?
When my mum gets nasty it’s often an infection to blame , could that be so here?

Like you I find the personality changes the hardest to deal with

You need a break urgently is there any way this can be achieved?

 

[Oufan]

So sorry this is happening to you. Do you have a diagnosis yet ? If so how long ago ?
When my mum gets nasty it’s often an infection to blame , could that be so here?

Like you I find the personality changes the hardest to deal with

You need a break urgently is there any way this can be achieved?

Thanks for your reply.
Yes he was diagnosed last summer with FTD and Alzheimer’s ( mixture) they said.
I’m trying to arrange with the children over the Easter hols to see if they can help out.
Got an appointment with my GP this week and I’m going to see what’s out there to help me.
Because he’s young it’s difficult when they suggest these groups for him as they all seem to be much older than he is and I know he won’t go to things like bingo / board games etc and another one was knitting !

 

[SherwoodSue]

Yes. Mum didn’t accept groups either.

I think I would say that you were going away for a week as you had taken on board his desire to be apart for a while.

As soon as you can get a ‘ cleaner ‘ who is really a carer. Have the cleaner fix lunch etc.

May be easier for you to get time away from him rather than expect he would go to day centres etc

As assume that he has little insight into how much care he needs ?

 

[Melles Belles]

@Oufan would your OH be interested in Men’s Sheds?
I think @jennifer1967 would recommend as her husband enjoys attending his local one.

 

[jennifer1967]

@Oufan would your OH be interested in Men’s Sheds?
I think @jennifer1967 would recommend as her husband enjoys attending his local one.

my husband has been going 2-3 years now. only thing is you must be a man. its not a dementia group which my husband likes. he has COPD as well so a bit limited as to what he can manage but has made wooden toys, dishes and bowls while he was there. they tend to match things to his capabilities. his is wheelchair accessible.

 

[special 1]

Hello all ,
My OH has been really nasty recently and says he wants to live alone and not with me ( after 40years of marriage) He did everything and was a wonderful husband and father to our 5 children, but they are all grown up now and moved away. I’m taking care of him 24/7 and it’s so difficult as he’s young 65yrs and we’ve both worked all our lives and we’re always planning a nice retirement full of travelling etc
This has all come as a big shock to all the family. Kids have taken it really hard seeing their father change so much from being a loveable , active fun loving person to a grumpy , bad tempered.
Any advice on how I can deal with his personality change and keep myself from getting ill with stress.
Thanks

Hi there. Sorry to hear what you are going through. I can't give you any advice really, you just have to try and take one day at a time as it is not going to get any better. Big hugs. 💔💔