I am finding life extremely difficult to cope. I am extremely depressed and there seems no point in going on, as the future holds nothing but more heartache. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's just over 2 years ago and is being treated with patches. He has a lot of problems with his legs and is unable to get about and life just seems one long battle. He is very critical of what I do and never seems to enjoy a meal - there is always some criticism or another. He always needs me around and is wanting me. I just feel life is going to get worse and I don't know how I will cope. Any suggestions.
Coping
- Thread starter Tidehill
- Start date
I see you are in Spain. Does this mean you have no family or friends around to share the situation? Meeting other people and having "normal" conversations helps considerably and to a smaller extent then this forum can help you pour out how you feel.
Hello Tidehill.
I found myself in a similar position when we lived in France. It is miserable enough coping 24/7 with your husband's advancing illness, but negotiating the Spanish Health Care system must be an added anxiety.
I found, in France, that the local, 'Mairie' (Town Hall) was a mine of information, and, in the early stages of his Alzheimer's, the village bar was a lively place for a sunny outing - and a few tasty tapas type snacks should bring a little sparkle to the day for both of you.
I have a suspicion that Spain has the same attitude as France; expecting, 'the family' to manage the daily care alone; but we immigrants often have no family to rush to our aid in our country of residence.
You don't say if your husband is British, or a Spanish National; but if he is British, would it be possible for you to move back to UK?
That was what I did,simply because I couldn't face the dreaded French red tape, and I haven't regretted it.
It is so much easier to be ill in one's own language. Of course, if your husband is Spanish, he would probably be happier to remain in Spain.
I sold our large French house, which just about raised enough loot for our move to a small, easy to manage retirement flat in UK
However, once I was back 'home' I found that there was a lot more assistance available to full time carers. There are wonderful day-care centres, the attendance allowance, carers allowance and other goodies to help keep the ship afloat.
Your husband is possibly depressed too, which certainly can lead to grumpiness and criticism - I am afraid that depression has a tendency to go with the job of caring; very few TP members can say, hand on heart, that they have not lived through days or even months of depression.
But TP is full of people who will listen, and understand what you are suffering - they've been there too, and are such a helpful group.
I found myself in a similar position when we lived in France. It is miserable enough coping 24/7 with your husband's advancing illness, but negotiating the Spanish Health Care system must be an added anxiety.
I found, in France, that the local, 'Mairie' (Town Hall) was a mine of information, and, in the early stages of his Alzheimer's, the village bar was a lively place for a sunny outing - and a few tasty tapas type snacks should bring a little sparkle to the day for both of you.
I have a suspicion that Spain has the same attitude as France; expecting, 'the family' to manage the daily care alone; but we immigrants often have no family to rush to our aid in our country of residence.
You don't say if your husband is British, or a Spanish National; but if he is British, would it be possible for you to move back to UK?
That was what I did,simply because I couldn't face the dreaded French red tape, and I haven't regretted it.
It is so much easier to be ill in one's own language. Of course, if your husband is Spanish, he would probably be happier to remain in Spain.
I sold our large French house, which just about raised enough loot for our move to a small, easy to manage retirement flat in UK
However, once I was back 'home' I found that there was a lot more assistance available to full time carers. There are wonderful day-care centres, the attendance allowance, carers allowance and other goodies to help keep the ship afloat.
Your husband is possibly depressed too, which certainly can lead to grumpiness and criticism - I am afraid that depression has a tendency to go with the job of caring; very few TP members can say, hand on heart, that they have not lived through days or even months of depression.
But TP is full of people who will listen, and understand what you are suffering - they've been there too, and are such a helpful group.
Hi, There are support groups around out here though not much in my particular region. I don't know if you have much Spanish but have you tried looking at the website: ceafa.es
It's in Spanish but does give website links to various agencies for dementia in the Valencia region. I couldn't look into it any further as I wasn't sure which would be the nearest place listed to where you live. As I say, it's in Spanish but worth a try.
It's in Spanish but does give website links to various agencies for dementia in the Valencia region. I couldn't look into it any further as I wasn't sure which would be the nearest place listed to where you live. As I say, it's in Spanish but worth a try.
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