At the end of my tether...

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Bunpoots, Feb 18, 2018.

  1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    666
    Yes, I know, but it is a very little and benign bend as it were ...
     
  2. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    Well - dad's having a very strange morning! Carer got there this morning and he was sitting in the kitchen stark naked! He said he couldn't find any clothes...
    She got him dressed and went to feed the fish only to find the garden full of bees - like that horror film I can't remember the name of!
    To cut a long story short - she's managed to find a local beekeeper who is currently collecting the bees in what looks like a hat box.
    Dad is fascinated - he's in the garden having a lesson on bees :p
    He won't remember a thing when I see him tomorrow- but he's enjoying himself in the moment :)
     
  3. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,015
    Female
    South coast
    Oh my goodness, Bunpoots - theres always something isnt there? I bet you hadnt considered bees when you got up.

    Good job your dad is enjoying the the lesson and isnt anxious!
     
  4. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    I'm lucky that dad is usually fairly laid back - unless he gets a bee in his bonnet :D:D...let's hope all the ones in the garden are collected before he does :rolleyes:
     
  5. Rolypoly

    Rolypoly Registered User

    Jan 15, 2018
    1,675
    Good job he didn’t go out into the garden starkers to investigate!:eek:

    Was the film called Swarm? No idea if there is a film with this title, it just popped into my head when I was reading your post.
     
  6. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    Good guess @Rolypoly "The Swarm" 1978 starring Michael Caine. Available on U Tube or in my dad's back garden (without MC) :cool:

    I'm glad I wasn't the one who found my dad starkers or the garden full of bees. Not sure which is scarier :eek:

    I am a fan of horror films ( as long as they're not too scary) but never thought I'd be living in the Twilight Zone, if you know what I mean.
    I often think what a nightmare it must be to be the PWD...
    And then I try not to...
     
  7. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    Today is the first day of trying dad out with a care agency. I've given up waiting for social services to sort something out - I'll be insane before they get their act together!! Dad can afford to self fund up to a point.

    I've found a small agency with only 6 carers - between the ages of 20-50ish. I don't think dad would accept teens (used to teach in a secondary school).
    So not too many new faces. They also have a couple of men on the books (in case he ever gets fruity again :eek:)

    I've been sent a text to say it all went smoothly this morning so I'll take a ride up later this afternoon and hopefully there'll be no more chaos than normal...

    I've started him with weekend mornings and hope to introduce more care as quickly as dad accepts it. If I can sneak it in a little at a time it may not be such a shock to his system :cool:. Dad still thinks he's fine and does everything himself. We're currently up to 2-3 loads of washing a day :eek:...

    Where is that man with the watering can?? :rolleyes:
     
  8. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    209
    Female
    Hope all goes well with the Care Agency!
     
  9. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    Thanks. So do I!!
     
  10. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    So far so good with new carers but evening help is starting next week to get dad into his pull-ups and pjs. Hopefully less washing to do if that works out!

    Just had a roasting today from the woman who is teaching dad his falls exercises. We have to make him do them everyday - she can so we can - obviously doesn't know about host mode then :mad:. She's a right Sargent major and doesn't mind if he hates her!! We (home help and myself) don't really want to have a battle on with him. If we can get him to wiggle his toes it's a bonus...

    As far as I'm concerned if I can get him to wear his pull-ups he can sit on them! Dad finds it exhausting just to get showered and dressed. He's 89 and 3/4. What does she expect?

    Just another pressure another way to make me feel guilty that I'm not doing a good enough job :(

    Rant over !! I need to mow my lawn..
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    6,015
    Female
    South coast
    Oh my goodness @Bunpoots - someone with absolutely no experience of dementia at all :mad::rolleyes:

    A bit of me would like her to have to look after someone with dementia so that she knows what it is like - then the rest of me knows that actually I wouldnt wish this on anyone (not even a sergeant major)
     
  12. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    A part of me too!! She asked if he remembered her. "Of course I do!" He said...:rolleyes:
     
  13. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    Ive just had a call from falls excercise lady, the one who can always get dad to do his excercises. I thought she was going at 9.30 which would (just) have given me time to get there and see what state he was in before she arrived. She got there at 9...

    He was in bed fully dressed asking for hot water so he can have a shave...he has an electric razor.

    She's just called me back - managed to get him up - he was soaked (as usual) - dressed him in pull-ups and clean clothes (free care visit :D:D) got him exercised and left him with a cup of tea...and suggested that maybe I should get in touch with social services as I need more help..:rolleyes:.
    I'm impressed!!!

    How come when I want him to do something I'm in the mafia? :eek:

    He'll be ready for his breakfast when I get there...
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    66,065
    Kent
    I hope the falls exercise lady logged how she found your dad @Bunpoots.
     
  15. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    I hope so too @Grannie G.

    I've decided to take advantage of the unscheduled "care" visit to get my spare room ready for my sister who's visiting this weekend for my birthday.
    I'll do dad's shopping and turn up at lunchtime. There are cereal bars on the kitchen table he can help himself to for breakfast. It's just hot drinks he can't do. I always leave diluted squash and a glass on the table too.

    I realise that I spend so much time looking after dad that I forget about me and everyone else :(
     
  16. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    209
    Female
    Hi @Bunpoots That happens doesn't it? We do forget about ourselves. I've just had a 'phone call from my GP's surgery asking why I've not made an appointment for blood tests as I was asked by doc to do 3 months ago. The answer is I simply forgot: other things on my mind. Nice your sister is coming up for your Birthday. Something to look forward to amidst all the stress and chaos! Take care.
     
  17. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    A little bit of "me time" :)

    Something none of us get enough of..
     
  18. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    209
    Female
    That is so very true!!
     
  19. Jezzer

    Jezzer Registered User

    Jun 12, 2016
    209
    Female
    Just a quick and non-dementia related question! How do you get the emojis onto your posts? I put them on but they disappear when posted!! Thanks
     
  20. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    1,363
    Nottinghamshire
    There's a box at the top of the text you've written when you reply- use the smiley on the left. My normal emojis don't work on this site.

    Hope that makes sense..
     

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