At the end of my tether...

[canary]

Oh bunpoots, Im so sorry.Its awful when you think something has gone and then it comes back again.
Can you contact the community psychiatric team?
What about asking the care providers if they can send male carers, at least for a while?

 

[Bunpoots]

I had the foresight to check that there were male carers available in that agency @canary. I haven't been able to contact them, waiting for a call back, to warn them what he was like. So I hope he's calm this evening.

The problem is waiting until slots become available but I'm just going to have to take what they have for now.

He's due to see the CPN next Thursday so I'll just have to throw food at him from the door if he's like that again.

It was really awful what he said to J. He had her in tears.

I have documentation @kindred - j sent me a text. I may ask her to write down what he said and did so I can show the CPN. She can seal it in an envelope so I don't see if she wants.

 

[Rolypoly]

Sorry to hear that about your dad. I don’t think you should worry too much about care homes not accepting him as there will be homes who have seen this behaviour before and can manage it. I hope you get the male carers quickly.

 

[Bunpoots]

Sorry to hear that about your dad. I don’t think you should worry too much about care homes not accepting him as there will be homes who have seen this behaviour before and can manage it. I hope you get the male carers quickly.

I suspect he may get male carers tomorrow if he's still feeling naughty tonight....

Unless they just refuse to go.

 

[Rolypoly]

Let’s hope they’re big and burly!

 

[Bunpoots]

The evening carer has survived unscathed!!

 

[Rolypoly]

That’s a relief.

 

[Bunpoots]

I wish this person I look after, who isn't my dad, would not wake up in the morning.

I thought I was stronger than this!

Haven't heard from the carers so I'm assuming he's still alive. It's definitely time for me to hand over mostly of his care to someone else. Care agency will be calling on Monday to discuss more care.

I'm supposed to be going to the coast next weekend. No I AM going to the coast next weekend - whatever dad does. My life has been on hold long enough.

Why do I feel so angry with him? I know it's not his fault.

 

[nae sporran]

Definitely go to the coast next weekend Bunpoots. You will feel better for it when you get back, and hopefully enjoy some time to yourself while you are there of course.

 

[Bunpoots]

posted twice

 

[kindred]

I wish this person I look after, who isn't my dad, would not wake up in the morning.

I thought I was stronger than this!

Haven't heard from the carers so I'm assuming he's still alive. It's definitely time for me to hand over mostly of his care to someone else. Care agency will be calling on Monday to discuss more care.

I'm supposed to be going to the coast next weekend. No I AM going to the coast next weekend - whatever dad does. My life has been on hold long enough.

Why do I feel so angry with him? I know it's not his fault.

Sweetheart, yes time to hand over this care. Angry because you are NORMAL and there is a limit to how much we can keep saying it's not their fault when we are suffering so badly from what is going on. Please do go to the coast and tell us how it goes! Gxx

 

[Bunpoots]

Definitely go to the coast next weekend Bunpoots. You will feel better for it when you get back, and hopefully enjoy some time to yourself while you are there of

My iPad's playing up. So forgive me if this doesn't post properly.

I am going to get a break next weekend. I need to get away!! Hopefully I'll feel better after.

 

[Bunpoots]

Sweetheart, yes time to hand over this care. Angry because you are NORMAL and there is a limit to how much we can keep saying it's not their fault when we are suffering so badly from what is going on. Please do go to the coast and tell us how it goes! Gxx

It's so hard to hand the care of a loved one over to someone else. The carers seem very good so far. They even hung the washing out this morning after getting dad into the shower - something he'll seldom do for me. Someone is going to call me on Monday to see what else they can offer.

 

[Rolypoly]

Take whatever help is offered, go to the coast, enjoy your break without guilt and hopefully you will come back recharged, or at least less fraught.

 

[canary]

Go and have your break @Bunpoots - you need/deserve it.

Fingers crossed that problems with the carers has settled down.

 

[Bunpoots]

It seems a long time since I last posted on my thread. Dad now has carers 3 times a day. They seem to be coping with him very well, kindly and efficiently. So he's well fed - a little too well fed - carer H said she can hardly get his trousers fastened anymore and his pjs, so he has definitely gained weight. He's short and I'm already buying him large/ 38" waist. I've told her to feed him less!!

I've got to do his shopping this morning so he'll be getting ham and chicken instead of corned beef for his sandwiches and low fat spread. More fruit, less cake .
I know this is the opposite to the problems most of you have with your PWD and the problems we had with my mum who went down to 6 stone but I suspect dad's heavier than me - and a good 3-4" shorter!! He already has to roll out of bed! Maybe I should enrol him into the TP slimming club...

I got to the coast at the weekend. We decided on Mablethorpe. The town is a little down at heel, but the beach is gorgeous. We did a lot of walking, I came away with a flip flop blister and ate too much but I feel sooo much better for it

I've got to take dad to the incontinence clinic this morning. I'll have to be vague about where we're going...because he's not incontinent
He has got worse and now never gets to the toilet before he's wet himself but the carers have to deal with most of it now. He still takes his pull-ups off during the day and doesn't even bother putting his trousers on sometimes so I've seen more of dad than I ever thought I would

 

[Bunpoots]

Dad's visit to the incontinence clinic was predictably confusing for him. He's so slow at walking now it was a real struggle to get him there - but at least he'll be getting home visits from now on..

The nurse discussed his problem with me (which I hate doing in front of him) and then told him they were going to trial him on some more absorbent pants with slips for overnight. "Why?" He asked. "To keep you dry and comfortable ". "I'm not wet," says dad "well I might be behind the ears - but certainly not in the pants!!"

I've still heard nothing about his wheelchair...

 

[nae sporran]

Good news on the home visits and the carers coming in, Bunpoots. It's good to know your dad still had his sense of humour intact.

 

[Bunpoots]

Good news on the home visits and the carers coming in, Bunpoots. It's good to know your dad still had his sense of humour intact.

He always has a smart quip ready even when he's not sure what's going on .

He was in a good mood this morning and very pleased to see his granddaughter - although he did ask her how tall she was now.. She's not grown for the last eight years

 

[Rolypoly]

You sound so much better after your break. It’s good that the carers can take some of the burden off you. Maybe they can persuade your dad to keep his pants on, hanging loose is so not a good look!