APPROACHING END WITH MUM : EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT
- Thread starter Jezzer
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Sure will Prudence! Proud of our lads. Mature, professional and humble. And they played a blinder!! xxxx
Apart from Stirling apparently, so 1J kept saying....
“Talking heads” say Stirling is a players player, not a supporters player....
I have been banned from being in the room for the next england match for saying “here he comes, the players player”
“Talking heads” say Stirling is a players player, not a supporters player....
I have been banned from being in the room for the next england match for saying “here he comes, the players player”
Hi @2jays - don't think we've chatted before. You clearly know far more about the players than I do(!). I'm just glad we won!Apart from Stirling apparently, so 1J kept saying....
“Talking heads” say Stirling is a players player, not a supporters player....
I have been banned from being in the room for the next england match for saying “here he comes, the players player”
Absolutely!!!! Thought they were great - even Sterling! He just needs a goal to convince the doubters
Gareth Southgate deserves a mention too - boy has he vindicated himself since the infamous penalty miss in 1990-whenever it was
xx
Hi @2jays - don't think we've chatted before. You clearly know far more about the players than I do(!). I'm just glad we won!
Sorry, no we have not chatted before, but I have been lurking, reading you, following what’s going on
Not been able to find words to support but have walked some of your steps xxx
No. I know nothing about the players.... just 40+ years of forced instruction on football from 1jay has enabled me to appear knowledgeable
Oh yes!!! I’m sooo glad “we” won. The dissection of how we lost would have gone on for hours otherwise....
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Totally agree with both opinions! Hmmm there will be a few sore heads tomorrow methinks!Absolutely!!!! Thought they were great - even Sterling! He just needs a goal to convince the doubters
Gareth Southgate deserves a mention too - boy has he vindicated himself since the infamous penalty miss in 1990-whenever it was
xxxxI’m still watching Russia v CroatiaTotally agree with both opinions! Hmmm there will be a few sore heads tomorrow methinks!
Oh please don't lurk - come on in, you are most welcome! Forgive me but is 1jay your OH? Im sorry you've walked some of my steps. It's a alien road we walk on I think, with some nasty twists and turns but with the support of TP, we don't walk it alone. Nice to "meet" you. xxxSorry, no we have not chatted before, but I have been lurking, reading you, following what’s going on
Not been able to find words to support but have walked some of your steps xxx
No. I know nothing about the players.... just 40+ years of forced instruction when football is on from 1jay has enabled me to appear knowledgeable
Im also a tennis fan so am catching up on Wimbledon! Hope you and @2jays are enjoying the match xxxxI’m still watching Russia v Croatia
1jay is my OH
He is the one who kept me sane/grounded when I was caring for mum
Nice to “meet” you too xx
Oh I see. Heaven knows we need all the help we can get looking after our mums. I hate asking but is your mum still with us? xxx
Ask away.
Mum died in Nov 2016. The last 2 years of her life were so many times of her being “at the end” and then bouncing back to a degree
Before dementia, we didn’t have a good relationship. Hard (at times almost impossible) though it was, the early days of her dementia were when I felt able to be in a good place with her because she, what I call, mellowed, which helped me with the 7 years I was a part of her care.
I'm so sorry you lost your mum. Isn't is strange how in the early days of the disease, she mellowed? It's odd how differently this disease affects people. I've heard so many awful accounts of a person turning aggressive and violent towards their OH and/or other family members and I think that must be heartbreaking and very nearly push their loved ones to the brink. Over the brink sometimes. And yet with your mum, you found yourself in a good place. Do you have brothers and sisters or, apart from the support of 1jay, did you have to deal with mum's illness alone? Although mum is 90 and has other health issues (prior to and continuing with the Mixed Dementia) she's always been amazingly resilient and, unless something steps in and takes her quickly, suspect this decline - and the bounce backs - could go on for some time. Some 18 months ago the Frailty Nurse told me they anticipated she had a few months left. Well they got that wrong! Mum and I hit a rocky patch many years ago (my fault) but slowly we reconciled and became closer than ever. She pulled me through when my OH died suddenly and we were best friends as well as mum & daughter. Was your relationship with your mum always difficult? Seven years as her carer must have been incredibly hard for you and I have to say you have my admiration and respect. I know this will only get worse which I dread. Mum always thought cancer would take her as it did four of her siblings .She had another sister who died from Vascular Dementia a few years back (She has a surviving younger sister and brother). Mum and I were with her at the end and it really traumatised me. She said more than once she never wanted to get like this and yet, like so many others, here we are. I try and keep it a day at a time but naturally can't help worrying about what 's ahead. Apart from a couple of friends, & even they I keep at arms length to a degree, I've pushed friends away. They don't understand. TP is the only place I feel "at home". Please keep in touch tho' I don't want to cause you distress going over the past. I'm very aware how the pain and so many other emotions continue after loss. Thank you so much. Sending love and hugs x
Its so hard isn't it - this roller coaster ride of emotions. Mum is bed bound and rarely opens her eyes. I sit there holding and stroking her hand and just hope she knows Im there and I love her. The very rare times she opens her eyes she will stare at me. The NH staff tell me she knows Im there and I cling to that though.
No words can take the pain away but remember you are amongst people who understand and have a virtual shoulder to cry on. Sending you big hugs and keep in your heart you are a good loving personxxx
)))hugs(((
No words can take the pain away but remember you are amongst people who understand and have a virtual shoulder to cry on. Sending you big hugs and keep in your heart you are a good loving personxxx
)))hugs(((
Thank you so much for your kind and so appreciated message. You and I are at a similar stage I think although mum keeps having these brief "comebacks" and was shouting out yesterday. Oh yes your dear mum knows you are with her, of that I'm now sure. You do exactly the same when with your mum as I do. It's really all we can do. What would I do without lovely people like you here on TP. I feel I have a whole new family. They say you can't choose your family but I'de choose this one anyday! Sending Love and ((((((Hugs))))) to you and your dear Mum xxxx
@Jezzer so glad you had such a great experience with your mum. I also had a bit of a laugh with my mum yesterday which was nice, she was really tickled by something I said in jest.
She seems a lot “better” in some respects than some of the other residents but physically she is not that great. I’ll post more on my own thread.
I believe in lots of spiritual things & I do believe the earrings were a sign xxx
She seems a lot “better” in some respects than some of the other residents but physically she is not that great. I’ll post more on my own thread.
I believe in lots of spiritual things & I do believe the earrings were a sign xxx
Jazzer, Thank you for sharing and to all for your words...when my mother was first diagnosed I’m sorry to say that after a few months I broke down in front of her, crying for myself because I knew one day she would forget me. That was 7 years ago (haven’t done it in front of her since) and she hasn’t forgotten me yet. She does forget a lot of things and people, can’t remember family names, but I know she is the same person somehow, just ‘locked in’ sometimes unable to articulate. Sometimes I can’t accept that she has Alzheimer’s although I just try to focus on making her life as stress free and comfortable as possible. She is in extra care sheltered but still needs family contact and me to look out for her and sort out her affairs. This post got to me and reminded me that people on this forum understand, don’t judge and share experiences. I find it a comfort to be able to share and have the utmost respect for the regulars and moderators who give their time so selflessly. Thank you
Sue x
Sue x
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