Thank you Geraldine. I knew you'd understand. There's a little more about my visit later on. I'm still buzzing. Just told Geoff and it's made his day! Xxxxxx
APPROACHING END WITH MUM : EVERY DAY IS DIFFERENT
- Thread starter Jezzer
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I'm so sorry about your dear Mum. Eight months is not long and I'm sure emotions are still raw. How you must miss her. I truly believe your mum is watching over you and of course she will have forgiven you. She's free of Dementia now. So wonderful to read that you had a loving mother/daughter relationship - there's a truly special bond isn't there? Thank you so much for your post. Sending love and hugs. Take care xx
Thank you Jezzer. Treasure those lovely moments with your mum and I agree there is a special bond which I was lucky to have with my mum for nearly 70 years. Take care and keep posting. Love and hugs to you. Xxx
Well @Jezzer you said yourself your Mum would move heaven and earth to come to you if she could! Maybe she just did.
I am terribly sorry about the non recognition. Like you and like the other posters who have voiced their compassion, I hope that it was a momentary loss. Forgetfulness can be a sometime thing!
It’s odd that being aware beforehand of this likelihood in no way eases the profound shock and dreadful pain when it does. My OH worked for eight years, until late last year, on a book he will now not be able to publish, such has been his decline since then. Two or three months ago, he came to me holding the typescript (massive, about 500 pp.) - and asked me if I knew what it was.
I had “known” this moment might come but was still devastated when it did. And this was a minor incident in comparison with what you experienced with your mother not knowing you. Again, I am so sorry, dear Jezzer.
Reading all that has been said in response, I can only add that I think we all have to be really gentle not just with each other, but with ourselves. We MUST recognise how hard this, is in order to be able properly to look after ourselves.
Sorry I am just thinking aloud here. Example: tea and chocolate biscuits in bed is NOT how I should be caring for myself right now! I tell myself at least it’s not vodka in this teacup - but I need to do better than this!
It’s odd that being aware beforehand of this likelihood in no way eases the profound shock and dreadful pain when it does. My OH worked for eight years, until late last year, on a book he will now not be able to publish, such has been his decline since then. Two or three months ago, he came to me holding the typescript (massive, about 500 pp.) - and asked me if I knew what it was.
I had “known” this moment might come but was still devastated when it did. And this was a minor incident in comparison with what you experienced with your mother not knowing you. Again, I am so sorry, dear Jezzer.
Reading all that has been said in response, I can only add that I think we all have to be really gentle not just with each other, but with ourselves. We MUST recognise how hard this, is in order to be able properly to look after ourselves.
Sorry I am just thinking aloud here. Example: tea and chocolate biscuits in bed is NOT how I should be caring for myself right now! I tell myself at least it’s not vodka in this teacup - but I need to do better than this!
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Thank you Carolyn; yes perhaps so. I did suspect it was my late OH though; it''s an unbelieveable 18 years since he passed but still strange things happen to me and I sense him around. Also, he adored mum so who knows? Xxx
Oh Carolyn I'm so sorry about your husband. This wretched, cruel illness. What happened with the manuscript was not a minor incident at all. It was a huge and heartbreaking moment and I can only imagine how you must have felt. Dementia robs us of so much. People other than those of us who have, or have had, loved ones with this disease simply do not understand the devastation it causes both to sufferer and to us. My heart goes out to you. Yes we must be gentle with each other and ourselves. I wish we lived in a kinder, more compassionate world. It seems to me so many folk live selfish lives today. But kindness does live on here on TP. Each and every one here is unique yet we have this disease that binds us together All sufferers but still willing to offer much needed love and support to others. How brilliant is that? Well England play in the World Cup this afternoon. Edge of the seat stuff this week! I'm looking forward to the match but please, no more penalty shoot outs!!!! My heart wont take it!!!!
Hope you enjoyed your earlier tea and choccie biccies - why not??!!. Sending much love and many hugs. And, Thank You! Xxxxx
Thank you so much Prudence. I'm still "buzzing"! We'll see what today brings and if my lovely mum is unable to respond, well I will just hold her hand, stroke her head and "prattle", as I do! I feel secure now in the knowledge mum knows how much her son and daughter love her and that the love is reciprocated. There's something I forgot to add yesterday during my visit: I asked mum if she liked my new short haircut. "Yes" she replied. I then said "Only problem mum is that you can see my ugly mug more clearly". Mum's reply? "Yes that's true"(!). Shrieks of laughter from the carers who overheard and I said "Well I asked for that didn't I?" Still smiling about that. Oh so looking forward to the match and that we win! Thank you again and I wish you a peaceful weekend. With love and many penalty-free Hugs! Xxx
@kindred Good morning Geraldine! Oh I do tend to "prattle" 
.Perhaps I should change my username to Prattler?! As always, I wish you a good visit with Keith. This heat must be a bit much for all the residents in CHs and so sad that many of them can't ask to be placed out of the sun/curtains drawn/a drink with ice. It's a sad fact that there are some homes that don't really think about these important issues. Enough prattling! I look forward to your update later. Will you watch the match? Hope we win! Love n hugs. Jan xx
.Perhaps I should change my username to Prattler?! As always, I wish you a good visit with Keith. This heat must be a bit much for all the residents in CHs and so sad that many of them can't ask to be placed out of the sun/curtains drawn/a drink with ice. It's a sad fact that there are some homes that don't really think about these important issues. Enough prattling! I look forward to your update later. Will you watch the match? Hope we win! Love n hugs. Jan xx
Hi Folks
Well today's visit saw things as they were prior to the excitement of yesterday which I had kind of anticipated so that's OK. However, there was a slight smile of recognition at my voice which was nice. Despite best efforts of staff, hot in the home but not unbearably so. Pretty unbearable for the staff though and, oh, the poor lady working in the laundry! At least the staff can now wear smart cotton polo shirts in the heat but not in the kitchens which I understand but surely their uniforms could be more lightweight? On such days as these, it must be like wearing a suit of armour. Was hanging washing out at 6 and in supermarket doing weekly shop at 7, home for quick coffee and then to CH. Arrived home and - this is a first - sat down to read the paper and woke up at 12.30! I never sleep in the day as my anxiety prevents that so not sure what happened. The Prattler was definitely silenced! Not long now to the Match! Better feed my brother and I! Love and Hugs to you all and your loved ones xxxxx
Well today's visit saw things as they were prior to the excitement of yesterday which I had kind of anticipated so that's OK. However, there was a slight smile of recognition at my voice which was nice. Despite best efforts of staff, hot in the home but not unbearably so. Pretty unbearable for the staff though and, oh, the poor lady working in the laundry! At least the staff can now wear smart cotton polo shirts in the heat but not in the kitchens which I understand but surely their uniforms could be more lightweight? On such days as these, it must be like wearing a suit of armour. Was hanging washing out at 6 and in supermarket doing weekly shop at 7, home for quick coffee and then to CH. Arrived home and - this is a first - sat down to read the paper and woke up at 12.30! I never sleep in the day as my anxiety prevents that so not sure what happened. The Prattler was definitely silenced! Not long now to the Match! Better feed my brother and I! Love and Hugs to you all and your loved ones xxxxx
Afternoon all
Feeling bad that I haven’t seen Mum today...Spent the morning tidying the house and garden, filling sandpit for grandson ( a long overdue job), and grocery shopping. Frazzled in the heat.....and stomach beginning to do flips ahead of the match!!!
Little grandson (J) will distract us I know...but he’ll be wearing his England top and I’ll kick a ball about with him
What an afternoon beckons. Fingers crossed !!!
Will tell Mum all about it tomorrow.....
Feeling bad that I haven’t seen Mum today...Spent the morning tidying the house and garden, filling sandpit for grandson ( a long overdue job), and grocery shopping. Frazzled in the heat.....and stomach beginning to do flips ahead of the match!!!
Little grandson (J) will distract us I know...but he’ll be wearing his England top and I’ll kick a ball about with him
What an afternoon beckons. Fingers crossed !!!
Will tell Mum all about it tomorrow.....
Good morning my darling one, Yes, this heat is a bit much for them. We draw the curtains and put the air conditioning on which helps. I shall listen to the match on 5 live . .. of course we will win. You heard it here first!! Love and best, Gxxxx@kindred Good morning Geraldine! Oh I do tend to "prattle"
Hey Lindy! Yep I have the tummy flips too. Oh how I hope we win. Got a feeling it will be a tough game xxxAfternoon all
Feeling bad that I haven’t seen Mum today...Spent the morning tidying the house and garden, filling sandpit for grandson ( a long overdue job), and grocery shopping. Frazzled in the heat.....and stomach beginning to do flips ahead of the match!!!
Little grandson (J) will distract us I know...but he’ll be wearing his England top and I’ll kick a ball about with him
What an afternoon beckons. Fingers crossed !!!
Will tell Mum all about it tomorrow.....
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